Thank You Letter from a Reader

Here's another letter sent from one of my followers. It's Johnny whom you might know from his blog, which is full of gems such as his recent "Women are just as clueless as guys".

He sent me a thank you letter recently, and since the other longer emails I have reposted (always with permission) on my blog turned out to be quite motivational for some of you guys, I'll share this one with you as well:

Hey Sleazy,


I wanted to send you this long due thank you email. The full impact of following the advice on your blog and forum is something which I felt a great deal of earlier but it was more in a prevention of negative aspect kind of way wherein you ended up saving a lot of my time. 



I knew I would begin to see serious positives soon and there have been a few instances lately which have been nothing short of spectacular for me. So nowadays, I just go about doing my own thing and if I sense that a girl likes me, I attempt to move it forward. 

Another Breakthrough Story

Last week I received a thank you email from "UCB" who has been following my advice and has, as a consequence, found great success with women. It was a great pleasure reading his email. However, I was not only feeling flattered, I  also thought that his story might motivate a few of the guys who feel they are a bit stuck, or who haven't done any active steps yet.

Aaron,

I just wanted to take a moment to personally thank you for putting this site together. Like many guys in my generation, I spent years bouncing in and out of the seduction "community." I'm sure you've heard the story hundreds of times by now, so I won't bore you with the particular details of mine. To be honest, I've always felt that there was something a little bit off about the community. I always felt a lot of shame whenever it came out that I was in any way involved in it, and I stopped going to lair meetings after a couple of months because many of the guys in it were just plain weird, and not all the type of guys I'd want to emulate. But I stuck with it because there just wasn't anything better out there as far as I could see.

An Honest Bootcamp Review

There are some big issues with reviews of boot camps online. They are either written by the instructors or people they are hired. This is most obvious when the guy has a post count of just one and then disappears. Further, some companies use high-pressure tactics, literally forcing you to write a positive review in exchange for some intangible benefits, like access to a private PUA lounge, in which instructors allegedly hang out.

Lastly, there is the phenomenon some call "post-bootcamp high". Directly afterwards, some people are very happy about themselves because they managed to talk to some women. This is a huge step up for them. Yet, only in hindsight does it sink in that they actually haven't achieved much, and the gimmicks they have been taught amount for very little.

What I present you here is a very rare kind or review. It was written by XXX, a guy who took a bootcamp with BradP's "Underground Dating Seminar (USD)", and it was originally posted on my form.

Tip for Overcoming Approach Anxiety

If you need some food for thought, here are some tips written down by Stelar, whom some of you may know from a number of PUA forums. He has recently joined my forum and made a succinct post full of  interesting advice. I don't agree with everything, but the general direction is certainly very good. Feel free to read the entire article. In this post, though, I will just focus on his very first comment, which is about approach anxiety.

How to Find Your Niche

While one of the dogmas of the seduction industry is that you should "cold approach" and pester women wherever you go, a much more sensible approach is to find an environment you feel comfortable in and that allows you to meet women with relative ease. This will also spare you the questionable experience of getting turned down by one woman after another.

Surely, you have made the experience that it's easier to speak to class mates than to some random girl that's carrying heavy shopping backs from the mall to her car. Further, it's much easier to find receptive women if you hang out in a club you genuinely enjoy. So, if you go to mainstream clubs, you're definitely better off if you look like the guys from Jersey Shore. This obviously doesn't mean that you can't get laid if you don't.

Sexual Attraction and Sexual Availability

There are a lot of great discussions on my forum, so I definitely want to encourage you to check it out. Especially, I'd like to draw your attention to a recent post with the title "Sexual Attraction and Sexual Availability" by Cani.

It's a great "cheat sheet" because he gives pointers on how to find out whether the girl is sexually attracted, sexually available, and whether the "logistics" are good or not. In short, follow those pointers and get laid, or ignore them and keep wasting time with girls that aren't interested. If you still carry around a cheat sheet with routines, then it's probably time to replace it.

To whet your appetite:

To have sex you need to:
- find out if she's sexually attracted to you
- find out if she's sexually available for you
- have good logistics 

(Continue here...)

Wam Approaches and Warm Environments

The heated discussions on my blog about cold approaching and its futility are now over. In the end, the PUA shills receded. I have been very busy recently and couldn't contribute much to the debate in the comments. Yet, as it turned out, my followers were victorious anyway. If you have the stamina, then take a look at those several hundred comments, if only to make yourself acquainted with the shady rhetorical techniques PUAs use, and how to expose them. Apart from that, you'll also get a big dose of common sense.

I didn't intend to write much more about cold approaching and better alternatives. However, Cani, a member of my forum, wrote a great post in which he succinctly defines warm and cold approaches, environments, and looks. It's a great read for anyone who comes from a background in the mainstream seduction community, or who simply lacks social experience, and it will point you in the right direction.

Here's a teaser:

Warm environment = a situation where it is more normal to be social, meet strangers (well not really strangers), have common interests, ie niche place, exclusive niche club scene, university students, work or school, hobby groups, gym, house parties, events where people were invited. You could say there is a spectrum from least to most warm environment, that is going in to much depth and is too subjective, i do believe it is obvious which is most warm or least warm. An overall definition could be, some place where there is some common interest that binds the two of you, ie shopping in the same shop (least warm), working together (most warm) etc.  

What to do - Just find out about her, normal conversation, depending on type of environment calibrate escalation. Now you can always be fake and lie about the common interest, but that is too much effort and a drain on you self esteem doing that to be worth it.