This could be the End of Online Dating as we know it. Seriously!

I promised to do more on Vin DiCarlo, but unfortunately I find his emails impossible to read. First I smile, then I laugh, but unfortunately, I too quickly get bored with them, so it might take me a while before I devote myself to this bullshitter again.

Fortunately, there are more interesting topics I have come across. For instance, very recently a friend of mine mentioned software algorithms that are able to make pictures of faces much more appealing. Just have a look at this:

That's a before/after no cosmetic surgeon will be able to produce

Do nervous people make you nervous, too?

In New York City I grew fond of dropping by at any of the zillions of Starbucks to check my emails or do some work. One afternoon I found myself in their coffee shop at Union Square. It was a rather quiet afternoon, but it didn’t take long for things to change.

A dude sat down next to me. Apparently he wanted to call somebody. Or maybe he didn’t. He didn’t seem to be that sure himself either. Then he pulled out the newspaper from his bag, just to rattle with the pages a little. It didn’t take him long to talk to himself and debate wether to call or not. Eventually, he picked up the phone and had what sounded like some kind of follow-up to a job interview. His speech was rather uneven in both speed and volume. At first I was annoyed by him, but then I watched him with intrigue.

I realised that this guy gave a prime example of what is wrong with many guys trying to “learn game.” If you are a nervous wreck, then nothing you say or do will do any good. Restless people, even on a far lesser extent than that guy, tend to disturb other’s peace of mind. Also, if you are “too social” (a disease spread by Love Systems) and talk to everybody, you will end up shooting yourself in the foot. They are distracting, and you tend to stay away from them.

People that really get laid, on the other hand, exhibit entirely different traits. With a few notable exceptions, I have found that guys that are very successful with women are usually extremely calm people. Nothing seems to unfaze them, and women feel magnetically drawn to them.

This observations clashes with what is sometimes called “big mouth theory”, i.e. guys that talk the most get laid the most. Personally, I have never seen this, and I can’t really imagine that girls like being with a guy that never let’s them get a word in. Maybe they f*ck those guys to shut them up.

Pickup in New York City

Guys on mASF regularly said after reading "lay reports" by me or some of my friends that "game must be so much easier in Europe" or "I gotta come to Europe soon." Apparently, in their dreamland all you have to do in Europe is showing up to a club and the girls will drag you to the bathrooms or back home. It's not really like that. Further, some claim or assume that European girls are so much more open when it comes to sex, neglecting the fact that in some areas catholicism is still epidemic. However, from my observations of having spent four weeks in New York City, the issue is -- surprise, surprise -- all due to the behaviour of the guys. I have witnessed a level of passiveness in the States I have never seen anywhere else. I wondered why people in most European countries don't give a "flying f*ck" about pickup, whereas it's a multi-million industry in the US.

One night I showed up in a hipster bar in Williamsburg. All the girls were dancing, and the guys were standing at the bar, extremely close together. In fact, they were standing so close that I involuntarily perceived it as an expression of latent homosexuality. In other clubs I saw what one might want to call "music video behaviour". The most ridiculous performance was by a group of five guys who stood at the periphery, trying to act cool (and not moving at all). What is this nonsense?

On the other hand, in more upscale venues such as Marquee, you have an unhealthy combination of "attention whoring" and groping. Probably it is because you have to be over 21 to enter a night club that women act so incredibly juvenile. The guys were not much better and trying to indiscriminately grind up to literally anything that moved. It felt like high school all over again.

In all those cases, basic social skills would go a long way. It's certainly not that the girls don't want to talk to guys. It's quite the opposite. In fact, I have been approached by more girls in those four weeks than in the last year in Europe. This could well be a New York issue due to the surplus of women, though. Nonetheless, "game" is certainly not harder in the States.

When talk faces action

I took a trip to Philadelphia on Saturday. Because I had arrived at the bus stop a bit too early, I idled some time away at the closest Starbucks, treating myself to some nice orange blossom tea. I sat down on a bench. Next to me were two Asian girls, one of which did all the talking. When she saw me, she shut up, looked up and gave me a coy smile. I smiled back, only to continue reading Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers.

It wasn’t that easy to focus on the reading, because that girl was unstoppable. She was talking about guys, boasting about going to Harvard, what a guy should be in her eyes, and all that stuff. Some minutes later she had to leave, though, and dragged a trolley behind her. She was still talking excitedly to her girlfriend. Then she almost bumped into a guy while walking backwards, getting her heavy trolley out of the corner. He didn’t want her to bump into him, so he put a hand on her shoulder. She stopped. He walked past. He was walking upright, was unshaven and certainly did not look like the kind of guy that would fit the alleged bill of that talkative Harvard girl. But guess what happened!

The moment that guy touched her and she saw him, she completely shut up, in mid-sentence and was looking after him. Her eyes were wide open and she hectically groomed her hair with her other hand. This went on for about ten seconds. Then she left Starbucks as well, still not saying anything to her friend and seemingly looking after this guy.

What does this tell you about what girls subconsciously want and what they say they want?