Sunday, January 8, 2012

Gawker and WSJ on Pickup

One of my readers (thanks, E.!) sent me a link to an article on Gawker with the title How to Talk to Real Live Women. It was easily the most amusing piece on pickup I've read in a while, but check it out yourself:
And she kind of looks at you for a long moment with a quizzical look on her face like she really seriously doesn't know what you're talking about, and kind of smiles politely and says "Okay," and starts to turn back to her other conversation again. And you're like "HI, I'M NICK" (yelling).

Yes, this article is a parody, but if you've spent some time on typical Internet forums on seduction, you'll probably admit that it is eerily close to some of the accounts you can read on there.

On an even more absurd side note, Gawker links to a recent article on Wall Street Journal, On a Wingman and a Prayer: Singles Bow to Cupids-for-Hire, that made me check the date twice. I just found it hard to believe it wasn't published on the first of April:
Paired with a confident wingwoman, her customers "can see prospective partners right away, and know right then and there if there is chemistry." Ms. Baxter, whose fees start at $130, insists that clients who go out with a pro have better odds of success than those who troll with an untrained male buddy. Often, the friend "says stupid stuff, like 'my friend thinks you're hot,'" she says.
Please note that "Ms Baxter" is 32, and not selling her body but wants to get paid for hanging out in a bar. For $130, though, her services better include anal in the bathroom, otherwise, this sum is completely ridiculous. Yet, the absurdities don't end:
Josh Mitchell, 27, started his Indianapolis wingwoman service, "Miss Pivot," last year after attending an event for young entrepreneurs. Romance aside, there was something else that convinced him he had a winning concept. No one, he says, seems to know how to have a face-to-face conversation anymore. "A lot of social skills you used to pick up watching your parents, but now everyone is busy watching stuff online or playing videogames online," he says.
Mr. Mitchell now runs Miss Pivot with a team of five friends, including a "head coach," plus eight freelance "pivots" for hire at $45 to $65 an hour.
Honestly, if you pay a random woman that amount of money to "hang out", then get your head checked. What I find really odd is that even though the typical guy seems to want to get laid, they are unable to put two and two together, and just hire a call girl. I thought that most people prefer the path of least resistance! Not that I want to promote whoring, but if somebody told me that he paid a woman $65 to go to a bar with him, in the vain hope to pick up other girls, I'd question his sanity.

What did Einstein again say about the universe and human stupidity?

5 comments:

  1. At the risk of sounding extremely stupid, I am gonna say that in principle, I don't see the problem with this. This service sounds very similar to a PUA coaching service, only worded differently. If you have a problem with that, then I guess you have a problem with any kind of PUA/dating coaching.

    Of course, if all these chicks do is drink at the bar, talk to you a bit and go home without fucking you, and that is what one paid $100 for, then clearly the person is seriously fucked up in their head. I am hoping people are not that stupid!

    Having said that, from what I know, this is very close to what most dating/PUA services actually translate to. They go to a bar with you, drink a bit, tell you to "man up" and approach a few women, give you stupid advice like you should smile more, be unapologetic about your desires as a man, and after a few approaches, tell you that "you're so money bro".

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  2. A bit OT, Aaron, but how much of each day do you set aside for meditation?

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  3. PUA repeats itself. First as tragedy, then as farce.

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  4. Johnny,
    if this is indeed how bootcamps are run, then I'll think even less of them than I did before. For pickup instruction to be useful, you'd have to work one-on-one with the guy AND take his entire life into account. This demands much more than telling the dude to "man up", though.

    On a side note, have you also come across the absurd claim that pickup instructors are in it for the "love" of their job? I think I head this one on one of RSD's DVDs or Youtube videos. Tyler said something along the lines of "instructors have such a rare set of skills that they could easily make six figures somewhere else." I nearly spilled my drink when I heard that one, and it's a zinger on par with Tyler's "I get approached several times a day, even when I'm not dressed well."

    Ben,
    ten to fifteen minutes. However, if you are starting out, you might need that much time just to calm down somewhat. Due to well over a decade of practice, I can enter a deep meditative state very quickly, so the amount of time I spend can be a misleading bit of information.

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  5. This is exactly what I think about PUA coaching, that before a coach even opens his mouth about what he thinks about women, they have to take a guy's lifestyle, current experiences, goals with women, previous sexual history and so many other things into account.

    Regarding "love" of their job, I haven't heard that before but I couldn't stop laughing when I read this. As someone who works in a six-figure job, I can tell you that logic is definitely one of the prerequisites in most of these jobs, something which these guys clearly do not have!

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