I've written a lot about dating from a male perspective, but there are a few phenomena in female behavior that deserve some attention, too. Let's start with what might be the biggest dating mistake women make. No, this is not some kind of hyperbole, this stuff really wrecks women's lives. So, what might that be? Well, read on!
Especially better-looking women are used to having many suitors. There is always some "creep" who wants to help them with this and that, and sometimes it's quite convenient to have a couple of losers on call. For an anecdote, I'd like to tell you about some chick I used to hang out with in Berlin (one of those who pretended that they were interested in my personality but only pined after my cock). She told me she was about to move the following weekend, so I immediately told her that I'm busy --- because I'm not going to waste an afternoon carrying boxes full of trinkets around for some chick I barely know. She then said that she wasn't even going to ask whether I would help her but just wanted to let me know that she won't be free then. As it turned out, she had two or three guys who where all too eager to help her.
To some of you this strategy surely sounds familiar: being the little errand boy for some woman you're interested in and hoping that this will somehow lead to some kind of tangible reward like, I don't know, blow jobs for helping them move. Not even porn has plots that stupid, though. This is the loser strategy of dating. Those guys unintentionally make the girl feel oh-so desired and believe that they are plenty of men out there to chose from.
Life isn't always fair, though, so the guys she really fancies always seem to avoid her. Maybe that's because they'd rather bang some hotter chick. You can already see that this leads to a big problem. Not wanting to settle for any of the losers that are interested in her she hopes that by divine intervention some prince will show up and sweep her off her feet. A variation of this theme are easy girls who fuck around when they are younger and think that there is no end to this. I guess it's easy to feel like that if you're 20 and all you have to do is wait until a guy that meets your criteria hits on you.
Fast forward a few years, and those girls will realize that they suddenly are "like totally" close to 30. Either they didn't have much experience with guys, or too much but neglected their personality. What happens then is a state of panic. Knowing that their eggs will soon dry up, they try to cling on to any guy they meet. If you're an inexperienced 20 year-old and wonder what it takes to get a girlfriend or for a girl to move in with you, here's your answer: either fall in love head over heels with a girl your age, or meet a woman who is around 30. She may be crazy enough to want you move in after one night, or trick you into impregnating her.
If you think I'm making this up, I suggest you open your eyes. It's quite common for girls to "accidentally" get pregnant because they conveniently forgot to take the pill, or simply lie to you and say that they are on the pill when they aren't. The laws are designed to protect the woman, so it doesn't matter that she deceived you. You're on the hook for two decades of child support, and helping her to fulfill her dream of being a mother and finally having a purpose in life. The socially more acceptable variant of this is that the girl is seeing some guy and in order to solidify the relationship she happens gets pregnant. I've seen this happen with people I know quite a bit.
But let's pay some attention to the girls that don't manage to get a guy through whatever means. Let's say she is now 27 and has either been single or "single" and seen a few guys here and there. She's now older and realizes that there aren't so many guys coming on to her anymore, and that she's starting to feel out of place when she's going out. The hot guys who don't want to settle down just moved on to younger versions of her, and there isn't much she can do about it --- and many of her friends are starting to get married and/or having kids. This is reason enough for her to panic.
What is she supposed to do then? Not having thought ahead when she was younger, she never realized that guys probably won't marry her after just a week or two. It may take a good two to three years, at least according to eHarmony:
Currently I co-run a longitudinal study of marriage and family development, started in 2008 and ongoing, and the answers couples gave me about their engagement ranged from several months to several years. On average, the couples in my study decided to marry 2.8 years after they first showed romantic interest (many couples knew each other before they dated, but that isn’t counted).Well, it takes about three years in the case that the guy actually wants to settle down and marry. Say, Jane is 29 and desperate to find a guy. It's her lucky day, and she meets Prince Charming the very next day. She can now expect to be married when she's 32. However, let's be a bit more realistic and assume that the guy she met has options. Maybe he met Jane who is 29, but he also knows Jill who is 22. Just based on her age alone, Jane will have a hard time to compete with Jill. Consequently, the guy dumps her, and might end up marrying Jill three years later.
Jane is single again and will have to learn that her time will just tick away. The older she gets the harder it will be for her to get a decent guy. In the end she may just have to settle for some dude she barely feels attracted to. Her biological clock it ticking, after all. This happens all the time, but it's probably not what she had in mind. She'll also find it difficult to have children, just like Western women in general who were indoctrinated by feminist ideologies instead of paying attention in biology. This might deserve another post, but many women seem to be oblivious of the fact that female fertility peaks in the early 20s.
The upshot is that time is a precious commodity for women. She will need a few years to just find a guy she likes enough to contemplate marriage, and finding someone to settle down with isn't all that easy either. It takes time to figure out whether you want to live with someone. If a girl is smart about it she'll start looking for a suitable guy in her early 20s, if not sooner. If she's not, she risks getting into a very uncomfortable position as she gets older. If things don't work out, she may become yet another 40 year old cat lady.
What do you think? Let me know in the comments below!