Sunday, August 9, 2015

She claims she compensates for her (lack of) looks with her "intelligence and kindness"

Does anyone of you read the relationships board on Reddit? It's a veritable gold mine of comedy gold, and provides ample support for anybody who thinks that men are better off without women in the long run. It's not as if you needed much more examples for the reality-bending mental acrobatics some women engage: My [22 F] BF [29 M] said I'm not getting hired bc I'm unattractive

Let's start with this:

In elementary, I was teased about my weight. But, I was able to lose twenty pounds after high school. So, now, I'm 5'4" and 150 lbs. What sucks though, is that I still carry weight in my face and have an ugly double chin. I absolutely hate taking pictures because of that.
However, I feel that I've compensated for my looks with my intelligence and kindness. I know that I have an awesome personality. So, for the past couple of years, I've been content with myself.

I had to laugh as well. No, you can't compensate obesity with "kindness" and "intelligence". She's applying for secretarial work, so it's doubtful that she is particularly smart to begin with, not just because the nature of the work does not require the IQ of a rocket scientist, but also because it's obvious to anybody but the thickets SJW or feminist that for some positions your looks are of paramount importance. Secretaries tend to be above average in looks, just as your average waitress is hotter than your average woman. No, she really can't be that bright.
Later that week, we are talking with his friend, who I had just met, and, jokingly, my BF mentions me applying for the job and says that I didn't get it because "I wasn't hot enough." It hurt so bad hearing him say that. I cried later that night and we talked about it. He apologized and said it was him just playing around. On top of this, I go by his work and see the new girl and she's beautiful and looks Asian. 
Many a true word is spoken in jest, as the saying goes. Yet, he has a point. You could say that he is a bit of a dick for stating the obvious, but on the other hand, how would you communicate to a woman that maybe she can't quite compensate for her looks with her "intelligence and kindness" after all? No matter what he would say, it would come out the wrong way. Any of you who has ever been in a relationship with a woman who, magically, turned from being a bombshell into slightly overweight and wanted to discuss that issue can probably confirm that one needs great diplomatic skill in such a situation, considering how full of themselves many women are.

What is really startling, though, is that the top-rated reply, seemingly by a woman, misses the point by a country mile:
I agree with /u/fredlet that your boyfriend seems to want you to think that ONLY HE could find you attractive. That kind of playing on your vulnerabilities is a way that he could isolate you from everyone else and make you feel more dependent upon him. Don't fall for it. Build up your confidence any way you can, for yourself, and rethink this relationship.
Complete fucking bullshit. Her boyfriend is not targeting her insecurities at all, but instead wants to open her eyes to the truth, namely that for the kind of position she is applying for, she might need to work on her looks. Thankfully she's not auditioning in Hollywood, so slim legs and high heels should go a long way in making her gainfully employed.

In fact, it is painful to read such drivel, particularly since the poster realized that, maybe, she really needs to work on herself. She writes, "For what it's worth, I started working out this week because I'm tired of feeling this way." That's the spirit! If you're unhappy with your looks, because you look like crap, you shouldn't complain how the world works, but start exercising. Yet, with this outpour of sympathy on Reddit, it would not surprise me at all if she concluded that her boyfriend does not "deserve" her, and that beauty comes in any size. Well, there's always ice cream to comfort her, and the company of cats.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments below!
(Also, if you’ve got a comment that is off-topic or only tangentially related to this article, then please post in the most recent Open Thread. Thank you.)


  1. What strikes me the most is that nowadays no matter how the guy behaves in the relationship, he is always accused of being a "manipulator". Everybody knows that nice guys are seen as vile manipulators while actually they are the ones being manipulated.

    1. Girls says : "boo hoo hoo everybody thinks I'm ugly"
    2. Guys answers : "maybe, but what's most important here is that I find you attractive :)"
    3. Everybody screams : "MANIPULATION !! He wants you to think that you can only have him !"

    The only other scenario was :
    1. Girls says : "boo hoo hoo everybody thinks I'm ugly"
    2. Guys answers : "yes, you are"
    3. Everybody screams : "MEN ARE PIGS !"

  2. Also, actually absolutely nothing happened (yes, nothing happened) and this woman is making a big fucking deal out of it.

    Typical feminine behavior.

  3. Female entitlement never ceases to amaze me.
    As I've always repeated -not only here, but in anyplace I can-, it seems that women feel that they should be loved, praised and cherished just because they're women, and so they're special. If a guy calls an obese girl "fat", everybody is shocked and offended (even if they agree too, but never dare to say it) because "women must be respected" (even when you're stating painful facts about them). And then he'll probably be chewed out on how "shallow" he is, and that he should see beyond physical appearance.

    But feminists think it's ok to accuse a man of "sexual harrassment" just because he asked (in a normal, non-weird way) a girl out and *gasp* he's not Channing Tatum!
    Or the way obese men are treated, compared to the way obese women are treated. The latter is portrayed in a more sympathetic way than the former.
    Talking about obesity, don't be surprised if it becomes the bane of the developed world in a decade. Specially after the infiltration of the (already politically correct) SJW in the mainstream media. We'll live in a world where no one is wrong, but also no one is right.

  4. The same can apply to guys and how PUA and media say you dont need to be goood looking to attract girls, but can make up for it in other ways, instead of working on your looks.

    Think it is also double standards to complain about the need to be good looking in customer facing roles. This applies to men too, if you are not at least some what good looking (height, style, facial features etc), you will most likely not get a job working in retail, services etc. I do believe there is some research (dont know how good) about people liking people who are more attractive than the average. Thus the more you like some one, the better chance of trusting them and the chances of buying something are higher. Plus being good looking, portrays a good image for the company.

  5. Good grief. If you read her post, the aggrieved woman takes everything her boyfriend says (which sound like he is mostly kidding) and interprets everything in the most negative way possible. When you combine that with the fact that she seems to burst into tears at the drop of a hat, one gets the sense that the boyfriend is probably an expert at walking on egg shells while acting like an emotional dishrag!

    Then, the whole comments section explodes with women concluding he is some sort of emotionally abusive master manipulator who needs to be beaten up and dumped. As mentioned, this is a complete no win situation for the guy.

  6. Any loser who actually brags about "intelligence" or "kindness" does not have either. What kind of "intelligent" thing has she done exactly? A 5-minute Powerpoint presentation?! Read 50 Shades of Grey?! Make a cup of coffee?! Or does typing on a computer automatically make you Niels Bohr in these days?

    As for boasting of being kind and having "awesome personality", this is a telltale sign she is a 100% full-proof, GUARANTEED asshole, like most fat women are. How many people brag about being kind?! Have you ever heard Dalai Lama openly gloating his "kindness"?! Did Jesus constantly remind his disciples of how awesomely kind and benevolent he was?! How many people openly declare that? Is "being kind" aka not being a murderous psychopathic Nazi bastard considered to be some kind of achievement worthy of being worn like a badge of honour?!

    This fatty is miserable to the core: obese, overtly emotional, low self-esteem and passive-aggressive asshole character: truly a treasure to be hunted down by all tall, ripped, handsome billionaires.

  7. Guys take bullets better than girls, that's my experience.
    I used to be called an ugly dork. Surprisingly, I hugged that chick and said she was the most honest bitch I ever talked to. 4 years ago I think, that's why I started working out.

    I got bitches about 1m 62 turned me down quite harshly, and yet I am around 1m75-1m76, much taller than them, and yet another day one 1m7 beauty takes me under her wing. Some chicks think their boys must be 6'(1m82). I am shocked to even hear that.

  8. OMG, read the update. It's so funny.

    "He says, "you're a bitch, you're not patient at all!" I yell back that I'd been patient all afternoon and if my house wasn't dark, we wouldn't even be having this argument. We pull up to my house and sit in the car, still arguing. I ask him if smth is wrong, bc it was weird how he got angry so quickly. He yells, "No, there isn't anything fucking wrong! You're just being a complete bitch!" I really, genuinely do not believe that I was being a bitch, nor that I am one."

    The guy is so right.

    She seriously got mad and broke up with him because of the lights not being on in her house. LOL. For what purpose btw ? Some evil burglars will come into her house ? LOL. Also, remember that if you walk alone in the night you will get raped. 100% sure. (Hint : actually only in fairy tales.)

    And she will now see that indeed her bf was the only one loving her. LOL. Good luck, fat bitch.

    So funny. Made my day.

  9. "I agree with /u/fredlet that your boyfriend seems to want you to think that ONLY HE could find you attractive. That kind of playing on your vulnerabilities is a way that he could isolate you from everyone else and make you feel more dependent upon him. Don't fall for it. Build up your confidence any way you can, for yourself, and rethink this relationship."

    Well, I actually use this technique whenever I can, to increase my relationship/FWB satisfaction

  10. reddit has always been a circlejerk of stories demanding positive attention and downvoting "netagive but motivational" comments. just look at what happened to /r/FatHate

  11. Aaron:

    I know you've said height is universally attractive in men, which I 100% agree with. Being 6'3 puts a man in a great position, even if he's not exceptionally good-looking. But what would you say about short men, not crazy short like 5'2, but in the 5'4-5'7 range who are 10s facially? I'd probably argue SMV is determined by a combination of the two attributes. I found some chart on the internet, don't remember where though, that showed how to determines a man's value, not just by looks but also by career, money, life situation and what not, and the conclusion one drew was that short with a 10 face=average height with above average but not exceptional looks=6ft+ with average looks. What's your take?

    1. If you found the chart somewhere on the manosphere (a manospherian blog), it was probably bs. They just make stuff up as they go along.

      Try to find that chart again perhaps, if it was not a random manosphere blog that produced it. (try browser history?)

  12. Each girl has her own preference.
    If the chick is just 5'4, she probably doesn't want her man to be 6'3.

    Basically, here is how I see it:

    Safe league: 5'7-5'10 => Your dating life is gonna be good, you don't have much chance to constantly bag girls who are around 6', but at least you get quite many girls around her height, and ocassionally girls taller than you
    Good league: 5'11-6'2 => You absolutely have a lot of chance with the ladies, now your pool is much larger than the previous league, you are already above average, and your dating life is gonna be rich provided other factors are taken care of.
    Assassin league: 6'3-6'5 => You are a badass, you should be happy because you are on the mountain top. Enjoy your life.

    1. I don't have evidence of this, but my gut-instinct would be to say it doesn't work like you say it does.

      I think that male height works like money, status, skills. It's not about how much more money you have than HER, its how much more money you have than the AVERAGE guy. (hypergamy anyone?)

      So its relative off of the male average, not relative off of her. Same with height.

      - Poor, low-status girls want a millionaire, just as much as the educated high-class women.

      - Its just that the lower-status, uneducated women are less likely to bag one for more than a night

      I think that's how height works. From my observation, even the shortiest of shorties want tall guys, in fact, they're even more desperate for taller guys. It's like they're trying to genetically make up for a "flaw" they feel they have (being a super short girl)

      Though, I might be projecting off my own personal curse. I've always found it easier to get taller girls than shorter girls. The shorter the girl, the more likely I have found it I'd be rejected by her, as she pursues the 6'1 guy (I'm 5'10).

      I'd have so many of these situations where

      - the 5'8 girl is chasing me
      - as the 5'2 girl is uninterested in me, and chasing the 6'2 guy

      I see it all the time, thought it might just be my own personal curse. I always find it odd when guys fantasize about tall and taller girls. In my own life its been the exact opposite. For me tall (and even taller than me) girls are the easiest. It's the short cute ones I have challenges with.

    2. Apologies, I misread your original comment. I was responding off of the first line alone, and ass-uming what you wrote in the next ones.

    3. "I'd have so many of these situations where

      - the 5'8 girl is chasing me
      - as the 5'2 girl is uninterested in me, and chasing the 6'2 guy"

      LOL, so true.

      Same with beauty. It happened so many times that the cute girl was chasing me, while the fugly girl was uninterested in me even tho I was very nice to her. After a while I was : "Why even bothering with hitting on ugly/average girls if the hot girls respond much better to me ?"

      The fuglier the girl, the higher her expectations.

    4. Same with beauty. It happened so many times that the cute girl was chasing me, while the fugly girl was uninterested in me even tho I was very nice to her. After a while I was : "Why even bothering with hitting on ugly/average girls if the hot girls respond much better to me ?"

      The fuglier the girl, the higher her expectations.

      That's why i am so SICK of the feminist trolls who BULLY young men online. This is why its such a pet peeve of mine.

      You have all these feminists telling young boys
      "if a girl is rejecting you rudely, then it MUST BE because you overshot your league... you need to go for uglier,dumber women". "If a woman is in your league, she'll throw herself at you".

      Whereas in the real world, you often find you'll have a string of FIVES telling you to fuck off for daring to even dare think you can ask them out. And then you have an EIGHT chasing YOU for merely showing a little bit of interest in her.

      If a boy listened to this bullying advice, he'd think he's the world's ugliest dude. Hey I got rejected by fives, I must attempt a three. Oh, the three rejected me harshly, I must be a zero... lol.

      Like Aaaron says, you don't know your true market value until you've had enough experience with enough women. Obviously ugly girls prefer it that a guy who actually DOES have a chance of getting cuties, to give up and marry a fuggo. Obviously that suits them. Which is why they sell that mythology.

      You don't know what you can get until you try (for most guys)

      Before any idiot comes in here saying "oh so a 300 pound disfigured guy doesn't know he can get supermodels until he tries. OBVIOSLY that's fucking obvious he can't, that's a range of ten points.. you don't need to even try in such an obvious case.

      But that's not the case with most men.

      Most men have no way to have a true objective measure of themselves... the might be as much as 3 points lower or higher than they think. He might think he's a 5, but he's actually an 8, or vice versa. Only way to find out is experience.

    5. Also, the quality of the girl depends largely on the environment. If for example you go on online dating you will think "omg, only 3s are interested in me, I must be so ugly :(", while at the same time if you do some daygame you notice that a lot of cute girls give you EC or you notice that you made out with a lot of hot girls in clubs.

      And then you think "holy shit !! so when I go online I can choose between 3s and 5s, while in the street or clubs even 9s react well to me !!" Of course you can find some hot girls online too and of course some girls that give you EC in the streets are ugly too.

      But it's like night and day ! First time I did online I became really depressed, thinking I only deserved fugly weird girls (because it's not enough that they are fugly, they also need to be weirdos !)

    6. Yep enviroment is huge, and its also why Aaron talks about it a ton in his first book - "minimal game".

      You'll never hear a feminist troll suggest you try a different enviroment as a way of getting better responses from women. She'd rather you "lower your sights and go hit on some fat fuglies.

    7. Or put more simply...

      **If you're getting bad responses from women**

      A well-meaning mentor will tell you
      - Change the environment (and/or)
      - Change some things about you and or your approach

      A feminist bully will tell you one of two things
      A) You must be shooting out of your league, go for uglier women
      B) You're probably a closet homosexual, mentally disordered or a secret rapist wannabe and the women can detect it

  13. Alex Novy:

    I've experienced the same thing you said

    And have also thought about it from the angle of making up for genetic disadvantage.


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