Thursday, June 14, 2012

Great Satire: Blog on Gaming Fatties


One of my readers (thanks, Andras!) sent me an email telling me about Nigel's Big Game Blog. If you are looking for a humorous take on the PUA subculture, look no further. The premise of the blog is that chubby chaser "Nigel" uses his superior understanding of "game" to go after, well, fat women. It should be obvious that it is a parody.

"Nigel" seems to be a very smart guy, and I can only applaud his imagination. He had me in stitches.

Just check this out:
In my last post I talked about how important it is to have the wherewithal to spear a fat mammoth hoe like the one above; however there is another bear necessity for chubby chasing I forgot to mention: physical fitness. You have got to be able to handle the intense weight of a big woman, otherwise you will be squashed like the pancakes she ate for breakfast, period. Just imagine having sex with a fattie, and all the sudden she wants to be on top. If you’re serious about chubby chasing, it’s important to train like an Olympic weight lifter. Fat girls love guys with big hard bodies for sure, but more importantly it is for the practicality, for being able to handle that big business. I train hard at the gym, and that’s why I’m like a forklift lifting heavy cargo.


In a later post, he offers his take on "logistics":

I shove her in and drive off like a thief in the night. It’s critical that I drive quickly, because if the ride is too long she might expect me to get her food at a drive-through. Getting fast food for any woman is a classic amateur chubby chaser mistake. It sounds like a great idea, but in practice the food not only tires her out, but gives her less of a reason to come home with me because It eliminates both the plausible deniability and excitement of coming over my house for food. I want fatties coming to my house hungry, awake, and horny, not tired and confused. Also notice the size of the van, it can accommodate the biggest women. Yeah, I could bang her in the van, it has tinted windows, but I prefer more space to maneuver. 
Once I’ve got her drooling for scooby snacks in The Mystery Machine, I drive on up to my house while continuing to promise her a five star, five course gourmet dinner — little does she know that dinner will be served in liquid form. Rather than park the vehicle in the driveway and have her painfully struggle to walk, I press my remote control garage door opener and drive into the garage, where I have the setup: a large California king sized bed, home-entertainment system with digital projector and surround sound, popcorn machine, cotton candy machine, and a fridge full of food. Once inside the garage, all she has to do is exit the van.

9 comments:

  1. I checked it out. This was great as well.

    "Clearly, you haters have not discovered Jesus. Jesus loves everyone, equally — people of all sizes, colors, races, creeds, and credit card ratings. And that’s why I prey to God every day, especially after I bang — “God, thank you for making my life so wonderful, teaching me to love others, and thank you for this new notch.” Let me say it out loud, I’m a Christian player. You want to talk about inner-game? Wait until you let Jesus into your life. Jesus doesn’t discriminate, and neither do I, because we are all God’s children. God showed me that my job is to help the needy, to feed the hungry, because there is an unequal distribution of dick. I’m doing God’s work by being blind to size and serving cream pies, bringing back equilibrium."

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  2. Thanks for the props my man! I'll give you a shout out in my blog very soon.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, man! This is much appreciated. :)

      Delete
  3. Hey Aaron, did you see this vid from Mystery? Pretty unbelievable, and not in a good way for PUA!

    http://puahate.com/showthread.php?p=1530751&posted=1#post1530751

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    1. Thanks for the link. This was indeed horrible. I guess if you spent over a decade of your life on mental masturbation about "seduction" you don't realize when a girl is into you anymore. The interaction with the guy was cringeworthy too...

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  4. Aaron,you never give me a plug despite the many fucking times I hooked you up.

    Anyway,in my next podcast episode of the Kenny PUA show(which will be released on Friday),I give my review on Minimal Game and other seduction products.Be appreciative.

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    Replies
    1. Socialkenny, why should you be entitled to get a hook up from Aaron?

      Your blog have shitty content (articles):

      http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/2012/06/25/the-alpha-badboy-lookthatd-leave-her-pussy-moist/

      http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/7-reasons-youll-regret-banging-that-virginmale-or-female/

      and so on.......

      You demonstrate day game on average girls (girls you claim are hot):

      http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/socialk-picks-up-a-jewish-brooklyn-college-studentvideo-included/

      You have LS Fader as your top PUA together with Justin Wayne.....

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    2. I sometimes wonder whether socialkenny is trying to become the next Vince Kelvin.

      He certainly gets close in terms of stupidity.....

      For everyone reading this, definetly check out his website. It's full of "high quality" content. Please Kenny, learn how to write decently.....

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  5. Kenny is the black Mystery!

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