Monday, October 8, 2012

What About Consistent Results? --- An Anti-Seduction Community Rant

There was a lot of great feedback to the recently posted "RSD Escape Story". An anonymous poster wrote a very good analysis of how typical community teachings not only not help you, but set you up for ever greater failure. Again, accidental or not, the parallels to how cults operate are more than obvious.
Very solid post ! Props to OP and thanks Aaron for sharing it. I’d like to add something about consistency of results: consistency of non-painful, negative results. If you have anxiety around people and girls, the “community” gives you a bazillion reason as to why getting laid is indeed a huge deal, defines your social status, worth as a person, etc. This way, if you already tend to be anxious about it (which was probably the reason for lack of sexual/social life in the first place), your anxiety explodes and you tend to attach yourself to the solution presented as miraculous to solution this anxiety.

The worst part is that it is hard to adopt really the behaviors taught by the community since they correspond to the average narcissistic sociopathic asshole. So you’re here with enhanced anxiety and you know –or think you know-the way to avoid it forever, but you can never totally adopt these behaviors and bullshit mindsets, so you’re in for yet another seminar which will finally give you THE KEY to freedom. Another reason for anxiety increase is that, by advising you to meet girls in the most random of environment, they are getting you to internalize that a lot more things can happen than what the average guy will experience by meeting people normally. By meeting people randomly in random places in weird ways, anything can happen, and since those behaviors are new to you, you cannot predict what might happen to you (contrarly to your regular behavior) which causes stress and you have to do it again and again to become comfortable with this anti-social loser behavior.

The part about situational confidence is awesome. Once again, this “core confidence” idiocy comes from a common sense idea, that you shouldn’t take things too personally. From this obvious idea stems this bullshit mental masturbation that your emotional state should never vary according to the situation. Not only is it impossible to attain, it is also counterproductive, since not feeling confident in situation you don’t master or understand is the key to either bettering yourself in that field or avoid it altogether. Being insensitive to situational issues is comparable to not feeling any physical pain: people suffering from such malfunctions don’t live long because they cannot tell when they are being harmed or not.

Same goes for your social life and personality: if you always feel okay whatever happens, you will just spend your life doing nothing, like all instructors do, and the reason they can do that is because they have “students” (jeeze, what a usage for this word) to sell this bullshit idea in order to sustain this parasitic lifestyle. The only reason for instructors to dismiss situational confidence is their fear of being exposed as fakers, which will inevitably come from fucking girls through your lifestyle, i.e. seeing them again and again. By always meeting new girls in an environment where they aren’t known, they feel they can totally master the image they are projecting, which they are after. They don’t even really want chicks: they want to feel like studs. Which is probably why many students end up dropping the pursuit of chicks: you don’t need to score to become a caricature of frat morons.

The most interesting thing is that the “student”, once he starts going down this route, will progressively become unable to function properly socially, fueled either by narcissism or fear deeper down the hole of personal marginality, and the best way for them to sustain this lifestyle will become to sell the same “advice” again. And again, and again, which somehow turns the whole thing into a sort of bullshit Ponzi scheme, where profit for top people come from screwing people underneath, who then have to do the same thing.
[Note: This is especially evident by the trend in the community to offer "teacher training". Some companies, for instance Venusian Arts, seem to be focussing on this aspect nowadays. --Aaron Sleazy] 
It’s pretty crazy what you can do to escape fear or for ego, and in this case, it boils down to doing everything wrong. The guys who were more normal to begin with and claim they found value in the community generally are fooled by randomness, as put by Nassim Nicholas Taleb. Coincidence of result with a new practice does not guarantee causality, especially when you are trying ten times as hard as before. Stay the fuck away from the community.


  1. This quote right here:

    "They don’t even really want chicks: they want to feel like studs."

    This sums it for me, and goes along with the recent criticism of Roosh V. When you read these guys, you get the idea that actual act of hooking up or dating a girl has little meaning to them. It's the validation high that's important.

    You know the cliche that people who are drawn to pick-up were geeks and nerds in high school? I am beginning to disagree with that. Geeks are at usually passionate about something. They have a form of identity. These pickup gurus in students strike me as people in high school who were...just there. No particular identity. Not well-remembered for anything. So hooking up becomes the most direct way of getting validity.

  2. Very well put. I remember actively suppressing all of the contradictions because I was convinced that there was something wrong with me. They talked about how you shouldn't "selfishly seek validation" but then Bravo goes on about how his motivation that kept him going was "spite". I think I just ignored that one at the time.

    Part of what got me out of it was constantly throwing away any sort of results in search of "consistency" in success. I kept assuming I was being too much of a wuss, but the counter-evidence and contradictions built up to such a degree that it took one reading of Aaron Sleazy to knock all of it down.

    My favorite rationalization might have been all the ways in which one acts like an idiot. Neil Strauss made a very clever analogy about martial-arts and "katas", and so I thought "this is just a canonical form. Once I realize what's going on under the surface I can drop all this." Hilarious--just totally classic.



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