My wife recently skimmed my blog and remarked that I surely have a lot of bad things to say about women, and that I let men off easy. She pointed out that there were plenty of "fat, short, and ugly men hitting on young girls in clubs who consider themselves to be God's gift to women". She had a point, and as I thought more about this scenario, it dawned on me that without male hubris, in particular the failure to see yourself realistically, the whole PUA scam never would have gotten off the ground.
Let's first contrast hubris as it's present in both genders. Women may think that there is the proverbial knight in shining armor that will save them from their misery and accept them because they've got such fabulous personalities, even if they are physically unattractive and actually have rather obnoxious personalities. Not wanting to face reality, they keep pining after attractive guys, or fuck some average dudes, but it's all just to keep them busy until their own personal version of Mr Big steps into their lives. This normally doesn't quite work out so well, and the well-known result is that those women end up being rather desperate 30 year-olds or, in the worst case, single moms who no guy with options would go near.
But just as women delude themselves, so are there plenty of guys around who neglect the importance of looks, money, status. Before discovering PUA, they hoped that somehow some fabulous chick would accidentally end up riding their cock, and so they roamed bars and clubs just to ogle chicks, and also hit on any woman they meet through work, no matter how far out of their reach she may be. You know, maybe they'll get lucky by chance.
However, the only way to increase the odds, as I've stressed over and over, is to fix your fundamentals, and put yourself in a position that makes it easy for you to meet women who might be interested in you. I've fleshed this out in great detail in Minimal Game. Yet, this "method" requires two things that are rather unappealing if someone is lazy, feels entitled, and is unwilling to leave his comfort zone:
- taking stock of your assets (good and bad)
- getting your life in order
Superficially, the alternative is much more appealing. Instead of working hard to improve your lot in life, you could just believe in fairy tales. This is where PUA came in. It's easy to tell a guy with such a predisposition that looks, status, and money don't matter, and that with a few magic tricks and elaborate "routines" he'll get the hottest chicks. It takes an effort to work on yourself. On the other hand, memorizing some bullshit stories amounts only to a minor sacrifice, and is certainly easier than, say, losing 20 pounds. The PUA recipe didn't work out so well, and thus the PUA scene has been in death throes for years.
While PUA is nowadays pretty much dead, entitled and unattractive men still abound. Looking for a new savior, they turned away from Mystery and David DeAngelo, only to worship at the altar of Roosh V. Roosh's message is simple: "It's not your fault that you can't get hot chicks because in the Western world, hot chicks don't exist anymore. The Third world is where it's at instead!" On a side note, I find it humorous to compare PUA and the manosphere with regard to the frequency of hot chicks. While every third sentence out of the mouth of a PUA drone contained the words "hot chicks", as if nine out of ten girls where highly attractive, the manosphere takes the opposite stance and feverishly talks about "fat bitches", as if nine out of ten women in the Western world were morbidly obese or, in general, the embodiment of every white trash stereotype.
But let's get back to the manosphere: again, they don't tell guys to get their f*cking act together. Instead, the message is that they are okay. They are okay, but the Western world is to blame for their misfortunes. All they have to do is find a "pussy paradise" somewhere in the Russian hinterlands where all the women will just jump on their cock because they are, um, white guys who couldn't score in their home countries. Seriously, how retarded can one be?
The core group of guys who were exploited by, first, the PUAs, and later the manosphere are simply people who never learnt to challenge themselves. The dating market is competitive, and "just being you" normally won't cut it. The two most reasonable outcomes are to either settle for what you can reasonably expect. This is not necessarily an attractive option. The other one is to work hard on improving yourself, so that you'll get a shot with girls who may be out of your reach right now. However, this option is quite unattractive for everyone with an unjustified sense of entitlement. "Hey, weren't we supposed to get hot chicks just like that?", they are thinking, and calculate how long it would take to save up money for another flight to Thailand.
There are guys who don't want to work on themselves, and their entitlement can show in many ways. One way is indeed the "short, fat, and ugly" guy who hits on some hot young girl in the club. But there are also those who think that the Western world is to blame for their lack of success with girls. They all fail to acknowledge that some girls are, objectively, just out of their reach. Getting in shape is one option to fix this, another one is hitting on another ten girls on the weekend and getting nowhere, or to organize trips to Russia or the Dominican Republic with other guys they've never met. Somewhere, somehow, they've got to find their princess who just takes them for who they are...
What's your opinion? Let me know in the comments below!