Sunday, June 9, 2013
Who came up with the "sex is the greatest thing in the world" nonsense?
Did you ever watch any of those teenager movies like American Pie, or did you ever skim one of those magazines that are aimed at teens? Or did you just listen to what other people say? If so, then you may have gotten the idea that sex was absolutely fabulous, like, the totally best thing in the world. However, once you have had sex, you realized that it isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sure, it's nice, but it's hardly a step up from masturbation. I'd argue it's different, but not better or worse.
Sorry, that wasn't quite right. Sex can be worse than rubbing one out. I've had "lays" that were infinitely worse than my worst wank. I don't think I ever failed pleasing myself, but that's not something I could say of all the girls I've met. In fact, I've found myself questioning whether pulling girls just for sex was really worth it. I think any guy who has the option of being with many women --- this only applies to a minority of guys --- eventually gets to the point at which he'll simply get tired of sex. The reason why guys pursue meaningless lays, though, has often more to do with a sense of validation, but even that gets boring after a while.
Let's look at the big picture, though: How does a guy feel about sex who lives in an oversexualized society that offers HD porn at his fingertips and shows him tits and asses in pretty much every ad, but who has very little experience himself? If he's a virgin, he may think he's missing out on something, and feel miserable about it. (This is quite common.) On the other hand, if he's one of the desperate ones who gets laid once every four years, he might think that sex is special just because it's so rare for him to do it with a woman.
I think that the image of sex being oh-so fabulous puts tremendous pressure on guys since they normally play the active part. A woman can always just lean back and let the guy do all the work, even if this leads to a piss-poor experience for all parties involved. On a side note, passivity on behalf of the girl might explain a lot of those "statistics" according to which 30% of women don't orgasm. They're just lying there, not moving their pelvis, not contracting their pussy, not doing anything else either, so how great can that be?
You could almost describe the myth of sex as some kind of elaborate societal scam, intended to encourage boys and girls to experience sex, and to get the average guy to buy into the "system". Imagine you spread the message that sex was barely better than rubbing one out, or that most women suck in bed? Surely then little Jimmy wouldn't feel quite so bad about himself if he was a virgin, or if he hardly ever got laid. He would know that he isn't missing out on much. The irony, though, is that he isn't missing out on much, but doesn't know it.
If the previous paragraph sounds too absurd to you, then please remember that some countries have set up a non-free system of higher education in order to yield a docile and indebted workforce. Home-ownership was also promoted with the aim to make the labor force more easily controllable. Debt is a powerful force. You could make the same argument based on the fact that health care in the US is tied to the employer. Saddled with college loan, mortgage, and health insurance that is conditional on employment, you'll probably think twice about speaking up at the work place. But what is a big motivator for guys to buy a house and make money? Well, to get chicks...
What's your opinion? Do you think sex is overhyped? Do you sometimes feel as if society dangles sex in front of you to make you act against your best interest? Let me know in the comments below!