In recent comments there was some discussions about the suitability of certain women for relationships, particularly when less experienced guys are involved. Those poor souls are seemingly targeted by women who push hard for marriage and children. In those circumstances there is a lot of disbelief involved on behalf of the guys. Less experienced guys who suddenly meet a woman are so happy that finally someone, anyone, shows interest in them that they throw all caution out of the window. Let’s further explore those dynamics.
First, let’s restate that women who push hard for marriage and children, after barely knowing the guy, tend to be a bit older, and thus are desperate to finally get a partner. They may feel that they haven’t achieved much in life, realise that their looks are fading, and that men don’t seem all that interested in them anymore, at least the more attractive, more desirable ones, whom she may or may not have gotten when she was younger.
Knowing that they won't be getting any younger, they start to shop around. Suddenly the “losers” get some attention. They may have a stable job or, in the current economy, any job at all, and from the looks of it, she doesn’t get the impression that he’s been much of a player. This makes him a prime target since he will be more easily controllable. What that poor shuck doesn’t know, though, is that girls under that kind of pressure can be quite active, to put it mildly. While she pretends to fall head over heals in love with you, you may be the second or third guy this year she has attempted to reel in. In particularly bad cases, you’re the third guy she’s currently working on.
What I’ve learnt from my encounters with more mature women was that they were incredibly pushy, and were trying to rush through typical stages of relationships. You know, using “we” when suggesting things, and therefore suggesting a unity that doesn’t exist yet or which you intend to never enter. Or introducing you to her friends, discussing renting a place together, or even inviting you to have dinner with her parents. I once met a woman who was so crazy that she told me I had to have dinner with her parents after talking to her for 30 or 40 minutes --- with no sexual contact at all involved. That's the moment when you excuse yourself, and try to remember whether you've told her any details that would make it possible for her to track you down.
Estrogen must be one hell of a drug. You can have a desperate 30 year old in bed who attempts to coax you into sex without a condom because you can trust her that she’s on the pill. (Yeah, right.) The next morning, if you didn’t manage to escape on time, she brings up plans for this and next weekend. If you panic in those situations, you’re right. Panic you should.
Sadly, a guy with little to know experience won’t know that something isn’t quite right and run into her trap: Oh, how come she is now pregnant all of a sudden? I guess she must have forgotten to take the pill (for weeks). What, why would you want to have a pre-nup? Don’t you trust her? Don’t you believe in love? How can you be so unromantic?
Women can be incredibly calculating when it comes to marriage, thanks to contemporary legal realities. One of the worst cases I was ever told was a story of a guy who let his new girlfriend move in — after three weeks! He had a nice condo, and when discussing how much rent she should pay, she suggested to cover part of his monthly mortgage payment. Broseph, do you have an inkling of rationality left in your mushy brain? Just like it’s better to be scammed for small amount of money in your youth, so that you learn to take care of yourself, and not later in life when the stakes may be higher, so is it better to have bad experiences with women when you’re young, so that they prepare you for the bigger trials that may be ahead of you, and know that you can’t blindly trust women — and people in general.
When it comes to women, and money, the naivety of inexperienced men is all-too easily exploited. In the case of inexperienced, older guys, this is a recipe for disaster. My advice, should you find yourself in a “relationship” with an older woman who pushes hard for commitment after a few weeks is to treat extremely carefully. I’d say that you should get rid of her asap, but knowing how weak inexperienced guys tend to be, this will hardly work. In his mind, he finally is "someone" because he's got a woman, no matter how plain or homely she may be. Finally he belongs.
But what is an inexperienced, weak-willed guy to do then? If you really have no balls, and don’t dare to tell her to get lost, then simply refuse any kind of formal commitment — but tell her that you don’t object to the relationship in general, provided this is the case. She will quickly move on, because she’s in a hurry. You’ll probably hear that you are “immature” and “commitment-phobic”. The “man up” cries from feminist corners in the mainstream media target exactly those men who think for themselves and just can't be convinced that taking a pushy older woman as a partner is such a great idea.