Yes, you sadly have to be (somewhat) exceptional to get girls

I noticed some traffic from a forum on hairloss to my blog, which sounded a bit odd. As it turned out, Mr. Balding has been trying to get some assistance from his little support group. It's somewhat odd to see some guys getting their panties in a twist and calling me an "asswipe", "Pathetically predictable (hemorrhoid) 'roid dopehead" (that's quite creative!) or a "privileged fullhead".

One comment stood out in particular:

This! That's the paradox, they say it doesn't matter but all of a sudden you need to become this exceptional man in every area of his life to compensate for it. They don't even get the irony.

I did not claim that you need to be exceptional in any area. However, it is a sad fact of life that women gravitate towards top-shelf men. Even a '3' may think she deserves a '7'. A few years ago a study by OKCupid made the rounds online, according to which women consider 80 % of men to be below average.

[W]omen rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium. Very harsh. On the other hand, when it comes to actual messaging, women shift their expectations only just slightly ahead of the curve, which is a healthier pattern than guys’ pursuing the all-but-unattainable. But with the basic ratings so out-of-whack, the two curves together suggest some strange possibilities for the female thought process, the most salient of which is that the average-looking woman has convinced herself that the vast majority of males aren’t good enough for her, but she then goes right out and messages them anyway.

So, where does that leave average guys? It means that women, even when they initiate contact with you on an online dating site, may very well detest you because they are so deluded that they think they secretly deserve a male 10, but they rather get some loser in the mean time until Prince Charming descends from his horse and kneels down in front of her.

Wait, you’re telling me I have to make an effort in order to be attractive to women?

Following up on my last post, I’d like to cover another issue that was brought up by Mr. Balding, which he addresses in this paragraph:

In my experience, I know it's practically impossible for people who have hair to understand the struggle that is balding at a young age. They will offer you "solutions" like shaving it all off, getting a tan, and "becoming huge". As if those two last advices were healthy or so easy to put in practice. But in fact, they won't help at all, you will still remain "the bald guy" in the eyes of society. And in a time where looks are glorified in the media, you don't want to be that guy.

First of all, yes, if you are not Hunter S. Thompson or Trevor Philips from GTA V, it may be worth thinking about shaving your head in case you’re losing your hair. A tan, or a healthy complexion is also often advantageous. Having the color of a broiled chicken, which, for instance, many Swedish girls have all year round, is not the best possible treatment for your skin, though. “Becoming huge”, or at least gaining some muscle, is also a good way to become generally more attractive. Note that I am not saying that you need to be bulked. Just having a toned body will go a very long way in terms of increasing your looks. If you “get huge” but all your muscles are covered in fat, it won’t do you much good.

About women who give you shit

There was a rather emotional comment in the most recent Open Thread, where a reader claimed that balding would be an enormous problem for men who are affected by it. Well, losing your hair will certainly not make it easier for you to get your dick wet, but it is hardly the beginning of a never-ending dry spell. That comment caught my attention not so much because of the topic —- baldness — but due to the many attribution errors. In this article, I’d like to briefly discuss one of them.

So, have a look at the following paragraph, and think about what the problem with the bolded sentence might be:

I know you're not bald or even balding Aaron, so to do this, I suggest you gather opinions from bald men, especially men who have dealt with balding in their late teens and early 20's. I've been in that situation, and it was no walk in the park. Women telling me flat out that they don't date bald guys, women abusing me when I was in a relationship with them, and often replacing me once they had found a guy similar to me that had a full head of hair.

The Open Thread: July 2015

Since I get a relatively high number of comments that are tangential to the articles, I'd like to try to move those parts of the conversation to the monthly 'Open Thread'.

In short, it you think anything you're going to write is "off topic" to the current post, but still related to pickup, women, gender politics and other topics I discuss on this blog, then please leave a comment to the most recent Open Thread, such like this one. Just post below.

Thank you.