Thursday, July 23, 2015

Wait, you’re telling me I have to make an effort in order to be attractive to women?

Following up on my last post, I’d like to cover another issue that was brought up by Mr. Balding, which he addresses in this paragraph:

In my experience, I know it's practically impossible for people who have hair to understand the struggle that is balding at a young age. They will offer you "solutions" like shaving it all off, getting a tan, and "becoming huge". As if those two last advices were healthy or so easy to put in practice. But in fact, they won't help at all, you will still remain "the bald guy" in the eyes of society. And in a time where looks are glorified in the media, you don't want to be that guy.

First of all, yes, if you are not Hunter S. Thompson or Trevor Philips from GTA V, it may be worth thinking about shaving your head in case you’re losing your hair. A tan, or a healthy complexion is also often advantageous. Having the color of a broiled chicken, which, for instance, many Swedish girls have all year round, is not the best possible treatment for your skin, though. “Becoming huge”, or at least gaining some muscle, is also a good way to become generally more attractive. Note that I am not saying that you need to be bulked. Just having a toned body will go a very long way in terms of increasing your looks. If you “get huge” but all your muscles are covered in fat, it won’t do you much good.


But let’s talk about the general attitude in this post. To me it seems that the guy is upset because girls aren’t beating a path to his door and dropping down on their knees right away. Who do those bitches think they are, for crying out loud? Seriously, though, think about it: on the one hand you have guys who desire good-looking women, but on the other they think they have to bring nothing to the table at all, or at least nothing that requires any kind of profound effort. Talk is cheap, which arguably explains why so many guys lapped up Mystery Method back in the day, or even nowadays still think they should develop their “inner game” by reading manosphere blogs instead of, you know, lifting some fucking weights. Everything is better than changing your appearance, it seems.

Yes, all of this takes effort. Getting a hair cut, or shaving it all off, is a matter of half an hour, if you enlist the service of a specialist. A tan is easy to get, too, which arguably explains why the Oompa Loompa look is commonly seen as trashy nowadays. Working out, though, does take some effort. However, does anybody out there think that hot chicks were born with skinny, well-defined legs, a firm round ass, and a flat abdomen? Granted, it seems to take less of an effort, for a young girl, to get in shape than for a guy, since they don’t need to build muscle. As a guy, you can likewise go for the toned look, but in order to get girls to look at you — but only when you are not looking, of course — you have to start lifting some serious weights.

This is of course not “easy to put into practice”, to quote Mr. Balding, but that’s good for you. Being in shape is a huge indicator for health. Just being toned puts you in the top 10 % of men, easily. Getting to the level where people ask you whether you work out, i.e. slightly muscular but not “huge” puts you in the top 5 %. I admit that I’m pulling these numbers out of my ass, but they are conservative estimates. When I look around, it is rare to see guys who are in good shape. Likewise, I see very few girls who seem to be in great shape. Sure, you see quite a few skinny-fat girls, i.e. thin but don’t seem to exercise. Even in the gym plenty of women only seem to be there to waste their time with a low-effort cardio routine.

But what’s the moral of this? It’s simple: The average guy is lazy. The average girl is lazy as well. Hot girls are hot because they invest time and effort in their looks. With some luck, you’ll even find a woman who not only spends many hours per week in front of her make up mirror, but also on her exercising regimen. Of course women who work out do so, to a significant degree, in order to be attractive to top-shelf men. So, what makes more sense, if you are a sexually frustrated guy who neither likes the idea of celibacy nor finds it practicable to pay an escort a fair price for her services: lamenting that women are superficial, while celebrating your own blind spot in that regard, or acknowledging that humans are visual creatures and making an effort to improve your appearance? If you want to take the easy way out, then please shut up and don't complain that you don't get laid.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments below!
(Also, if you’ve got a comment that is off-topic or only tangentially related to this article, then please post in the most recent Open Thread. Thank you.)

42 comments:

  1. I wrote that post Aaron. I get women flirting with me, I do get dates, I get laid regularly, and I have a long-term girlfriend. My life is somehow peaceful now. And why? I fixed my baldness problem. How? Not buy creating a diversion (getting big) but by attacking the problem directly: I got a successful hair transplant with one of the best hair surgeon in the world.

    I still buzz my hair but I look like I have hair, I look my age (25), I don't seem like a try-hard anymore. Before I was seen as the loser bald guy who did a ton to get some, and now I'm just seen as... confident. Halo effect at work.

    It's sad because I knew you wouldn't understand this problem. You've never known the horror of losing your hair. For you it's just something you observe from a distance, but you've never experienced it first hand. Yet you're so aware about looks being crucial with women.

    Why suddenly being bald isn't a problem? That's THE thing that will harm men the most, possibly more than height and facial structure. Take away Adrien Brody's hair for example. No amount of working out will fix that one. And most balding men will not have the right head shape and facial features to look like Kelly Slater.

    What would you tell a guy with an extremely deformed nose? Work out so he can compensate for it? No, you would tell him to fix it with surgery. What would you tell a fat guy? Lose weight and again, fix your problem directly. Why can't it be the same with baldness?

    Baldness is a big deal breaker and a lot of women have told me straight up that they just won't date a bald guy. That's all. Therefore, all you can do to increase your chances is to get the problem fixed directly. And the best way to do that right now is a hair transplant. Not getting big muscles.

    And don't tell me that you're just better off without these women who wouldn't give you the time
    My point is: you don't want to be the bald guy, especially in his 20's, on the current dating market. Despite all the false positive that you might think you're seeing "I know a bald guy who gets women laughing and flirting with him all the time!" or "I know a bald guy who has a girlfriend."

    Sure it's all possible. But a 25 year old bald man getting flings and one night stands regularly in this day and age? It ain't happening.

    Baldness is such a unique issue because there is no easy fix and it's so slow. Everyday you wake up and you're looking balder and therefore uglier. It can happen in 15 years, 10 years, even 5. Medication doesn't work well and you're seen as insecure if you use them. Same with getting a hair transplant. No one around you understands what you're going through, and everyone will mock you if you dare to express your concern about it.

    "Mr Balding". I see that even you're doing it. It's OK, you're not balding. You just don't know, therefore I understand. I just wanted to bring that issue and I'm sure a lot of bald men will relate to what I've been saying.

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    1. Dude, I know a couple of guys with receding hairlines who certainly qualify as balding: keeping their hair very short and being in good shape compensates for that problem. The current dating climate, as I see it, puts a huge premium on physical attractiveness for short-term relationships (ONS, FB), while even for long-term relationships your looks matter quite a bit. In that regard, feminism certainly has liberated women. Of course, some women greatly overestimate their market value, or pine after "alpha cock" for too long.

      Losing your hair is hardly a deal-breaker. In your case, I assume you paid quite a bit of money for your hair transplant, since you went to a guy you perceive to be one of the top surgeons in that field. This implies that money isn't really an issue for you. Thus, you would have had many other avenues to fix your issue. Further, your financial abundance certainly helps you a lot with women right now.

      Quite frankly, you remind me of a story I've been told some time ago, about an attractive guy who, for some reason, had enormous hang ups about being circumcised. He was a virgin, and didn't dare talking to women, even with the occasional ones who were throwing themselves at him, because he was terrified that he would undress, and they would make fun of him, or be repelled. This was utterly ludicrous.

      We guys can bring so much to the table. Balding alone is hardly a deal breaker. In your case, you've got money, and your intellect, and probably many other qualities I don't know of.

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    2. Where did you get your hair transplant and what clinic?

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    3. Dr. Rudi De Reys in Belgium.

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    4. Aaron,

      Really, you think a body can makeup for what's above, seriously, something is wrong in your brain. It can't.

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    5. Anon above: please try again in English.

      Delete
  2. I'm talking about being truly bald here. Receding or having a bald spot doesn't count. It won't be a problem if you just have a receding hair line like Christopher Nolan or even Jude Law. It wasn't for me, people and women still see you as "one of them."

    But once I got into bald territory, everything changed almost overnight. People assume you're unhealthy and ask if you have cancer (yes, happened to me), they will make fun of you calling you a skinhead (happened to me too) and when you have a night out with your friends, this is when it all gets out. I even had a group of guy sing "HE HAS NO HAIIIR" in front of a whole bar with everyone looking at me. This crap sticks with you and it still hurts when I think about it.

    You see, it's not only women who are a problem. It's the negative stigma that's attached to baldness, and it's often what will drive women to write you off. Women are herd creatures and even if they like you, as soon as they get the comment of their BFF "he's bald though", it will plant the seed of doubt in their minds. They will know they're not impressing the herd by hooking up with a bald guy.

    My hair transplant costed me 4500€. I live in Belgium and we have quite democratic prices for hair transplants. It's a deal breaker with a lot of women. Yes I was still getting women even when I was slick bald at 23 (!) but I was suffering from the identity crisis, the drop in my looks, and also the fact the girls I was with, they were not stupid. They knew I was hugely disadvantaged, they knew they could easily replace me with a guy sporting a full head of hair.

    You know you don't want to be the one who has the most to lose in a relationship. You don't want to be the one who's disadvantaged. It seemed that baldness always put me automatically in that spot. So I took matters into my own hands to make it stop.

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    1. It seems to me that your idea of the fact is more worrying to you than the bare fact itself. In that regard it is quite understandable that you undertook massive and costly action to somehow alleviate the situation. Still, the idea in your mind remains. If you don't let go of it, it will continue to haunt you, no matter how much new hair you might be growing.

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    2. Hey there "Mr. Balding"(no offence!),

      I of course don't have nearly as much life and mating experience as Aaron does, so I might overlook some aspects crucial to this whole debate (and therefore just might be about to make a fool out of myself), but I find myself leaning very strong twoards your point of view. (Just for the records: I generally agree with Aaron's "not-all-is-lost-" and "most-ugly-people-are-ugly-because-of-lifestyle-choices"-philosophy.)

      I mean you were completely bald during a period of your life (aged 23) where even starting to become bald is very untypical and therefore sets you into a pretty disadvanteous position socially and especally pussy-wise.

      And some people -unfortunatly- just look like ass when bald. They just don't have the head shape and/or face that allows them to still look good (or at least average) while beeing bald. And I think you very well might have had the bad luck to have been one of them and suffered very much because of that. (And even if one's head shape and facial structure is somewhat compatible with the complete bald look, the baldness may "force" one into a kind of sexual stereotyping that does not match ones lifestyle, philosophy and personallity at all, i.e. the "biker bad boy" sterotype.)

      "...the fact the girls I was with, they were not stupid. They knew I was hugely disadvantaged, they knew they could easily replace me with a guy sporting a full head of hair.

      You know you don't want to be the one who has the most to lose in a relationship. You don't want to be the one who's disadvantaged. It seemed that baldness always put me automatically in that spot."

      Once again: I think you have a valid point!

      "People assume you're unhealthy and ask if you have cancer (yes, happened to me), they will make fun of you calling you a skinhead (happened to me too) and when you have a night out with your friends, this is when it all gets out. I even had a group of guy sing "HE HAS NO HAIIIR" in front of a whole bar with everyone looking at me. This crap sticks with you and it still hurts when I think about it."

      Sorry to read this! Allways dishearting to be reminded how many of our fellow human beeings are stupid and mean dicks and cunts!

      "It's the negative stigma that's attached to baldness, and it's often what will drive women to write you off. Women are herd creatures and even if they like you, as soon as they get the comment of their BFF "he's bald though", it will plant the seed of doubt in their minds. They will know they're not impressing the herd by hooking up with a bald guy."

      Yeah, I think this female herd dynamic might have killed quite a few lays for me, too!
      Some girls where attracted to me, but hey, why should they hook up with me, that is a guy THEY are attracted to, when they instead could hook up with a guy (they are less attracted to, but at least) THEIR FREINDS approve off. Can't make this shit up!

      I'm glad to see (or read rather) that your life (and your love/sex life in partuícular) has taken a turn for the better and hope that you don't have to suffer too much financially because of the 4500 Euros.

      Enjoy your new persona, the social interactions and the sexual encounters it enables you to have, but don't forget about the famous Nietzsche quote:

      http://izquotes.com/quotes-pictures/quote-if-you-go-to-see-the-woman-do-not-forget-the-whip-friedrich-nietzsche-379140.jpg

      Or better yet: if you feel like you could need a whip, don't bother and cut your loses instead. That holds true for all men- no matter how thick their hair ;)

      Take care, man! Wish you all the best!

      Brent

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  3. Aaron I know this wasn't your intention, but this comes out a bit "feministic", and here's why.

    I often read feminist pieces accusing men of being lazy, entitled and wanting to get dating success without putting in effort. And like with all feminists points, they do it by erasing all the work done being done by men solely.

    - If a man is JUST AS HOT as a woman
    - But he needs to ALSO do all the work

    Then that's not exactly a fair deal is it? Feminists accuse men of being lazy for not wanting to put in effort, with effort being defined as men giving 9 apples to get 2 apples back.

    It's not just that he needs to be just as hot as her in terms of appearance, but he needs to have BETTER people-meeting* abilities, which the lazy cunt has none of. He needs to have MORe confidence than her, and better social skills than her, and also take on all the risk.

    (Yet still look just as good as her?) How is that a fair deal?

    *-Yes I know some hot chicks can "work the room" and have that ability, but they're a rarity, the vast majority expect to be approached and be given a good conversation on a platter.

    To me all of this sounds like, you need to pay an escort money, but also must give her an orgasm and be a male model hunk... like wtf...

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  4. To be more precise, this is the feministic-sounding part "Wait, you’re telling me I have to make an effort in order to be attractive to women?". This is a snarky strawman often seen among feminists.

    It's not like a dude said "Hey I want to look average, and have hot women ask me out and beg me for intimacy, without me doing anything to stand out".

    Feminists often imply that average guys are lazy (for daring to not be rockstars)... when in truth, they're not lazy, they're just naive. Nobody told them that dating for men means accepting an unfair deal (you do most of the work/put in more effort & value than her).

    To TL;DR my point > Guys getting average results are naive, not lazy... Not realizing you have to put in an unfair amount of value to get above-average results - is naive. Its not lazy.

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    1. That's a good point. I do think that I stress very much that men have to work harder than women. The attitude of women in that regard is quite ridiculous. Of course they also get to complain if men don't react to their "totally obvious" highly ambiguous signals. Partly, it's a cultural problem, though. Even though women are normally much more passive than men, I have met quite a few foreign women, i.e. exchange students or expats, who knew how to signal to a man that they are potentially interested, for instance by making strong eye contact and/or with a big smile. The typical Western woman seems to think that if she's glancing at a guy when he's facing away, he should sense that he's expected to now walk up to her.

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    2. Aaron, I thought you said (jn your book)that you don't need particularly good conversation skills to get women, unlike Alek who here says you need to be able to make great conversation. My experience has been that you don't have to be great at conversation.

      Its always interesting to hear others experiences, because my own seem to differ from many here.

      For instance, while I find I have to put in more work than the girl, its very minor. Most girls I find are pretty clear and obvious with their signals, from smiles and direct eye contact, and many will even walk up to me.

      There probably are girls who I'm losing because I'm not playing their games or approaching without signals, but I don't care. I'd rather be a healthy and well balanced individual.

      I find there are tons of girls where you don't really have to put in more work, or only in a very minor way. And I find that the guys who agree to put in more work become extremely bitter and unhappy and seem to be hurting their mental health, and i cannot blame them.

      The reality, I think, for most guys is that they will have to put in more work in a very small way, probably only by making the initial approach, and then she will be interactive throughout, pulling her weight.

      That has been my experience. If this is hasn't happening to you, i don't really know why. Its an interesting question.

      I will say this, though - if you want to avoid being bitter and unhinged, do NOT commit to putting in more work than the girl. Simply find your level, and screen for good girls. There are lots of them out there, trust me.

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    3. Alek who here says you need to be able to make great conversation

      Huh? When have I ever said that?

      I will say this, though - if you want to avoid being bitter and unhinged, do NOT commit to putting in more work than the girl.

      Are you sure you're not commenting on the wrong blog/forum? Who here has EVER said otherwise? I haven't seen any regular here suggest "go and bust your ass off by doing much more work than her".

      What (I for example have said), is that MOST of the women who are attracted to you expect an UNFAIR trade with you putting in more work. Its ONLY about having an understanding that you're attractive to MORE THAN just the women who make it obvious.

      You are not "ugly" to the women who don't show apparent unambigious super-interest (as a feminist would tell you). That's all. It's not A SUGGESTION, it's an observation. Is it that complex to understand the difference?

      Its simply saying you could bang a lot more women if you didn't restrict yourself to the super-easy-in-your-face-do-a-fair-deal-super-unambigious chicks. It's NOT A RECOMMENDATION, do you understand?

      Aaron also has never said "go ahead and accept completely shitty deals". When he talks about MOST women being ambigious and vague in how they show interest when attracted across the room... it's just an observation on how most women are. It's not a recommendation that YOU base your love life on pursuing such women.

      Nobody has ACTUALLY suggested that you ACTUALLY live your life accepting those shitty deals or basing your love-life on women who don't make it easy on you. That's you reading words nobody has written.

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    4. Well, yes, of course more girls are attracted to you than will make it obvious. That's a no brainer. Shy girls exist, of course.

      Alek, you've admitted that you regularly hit on girls who show you no interest, and persist past disinterest, and that this has you feeling sad nearly every time you wake up with a girl these days. I want to bring attention to the psychological consequences of doing what you're doing - it isn't healthy for a man's psyche, and I think what we see in you makes this very clear.

      You've also said that you think if a man isn't willing to do that, he almost certainly won't get laid. While that's not an outright recommendation that men do this, it comes close.

      I respect your experiences, but my experiences differ substantially.

      In my experience its easy to find girls who make it pretty clear they're into you and are quite willing to do their share of the work for the most part, as long as you're willing to be honest about your level, so I do'n't think the alternatives are either wake up sad every morning with a girl and become an angry and bitter person or don't get laid.

      Finally, unlike you, I find the number of girls who are into you but not obvious about it to be smaller than the ones who are pretty clear about it and willing to do their share, so that again, unlike you, I have had the experience that when I persist past initial indifference or approach girls with no clear signs it almost never pays off.

      No big deal either way - you have your experiences, I have mine. I have no idea why you're getting those reactions - I'd have to know you in person to get a better idea - but I don't think you're experiences apply to all, or even most, men across the board.

      No biggie.

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    5. "Most girls I find are pretty clear and obvious with their signals, from smiles and direct eye contact, and many will even walk up to me."

      1. Question: Where do you live? Eastern Europe?

      "No big deal either way - you have your experiences, I have mine."

      2. Question: How many women have you had sex with?

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    6. Part 1

      It's probably a difference in definitions if its not dishonesty...

      Well, yes, of course more girls are attracted to you than will make it obvious. That's a no brainer

      Upon repeated exposure in a social circle? YES. OF COURSE. (for a lot of girls) this is absolutely true if you are part of a social circle where you're a member and have REPEATED exposure to the girl and just keep being social, and keep being her friend, eventually she'll start making it more and more obvious.

      Most girls don't want to be easy and will want you to show them attention gradually and over time as they relax and start showing more back. Try showing interest from day one and having quick first-day sex and see how many "do 50% of the work and are obvious".

      Will a lot of girls (in this context) MAKE IT OBVIOUS if they're attracted?!?!? YES OF COURSE!!!!

      Let me ask you something, have you ever had quick sex with a girl you just met? Or put differently, what percentage of the girls you lay are quick lays?

      Let me ask you something crucial

      What's the difference between sluts and shy girls?

      Because girls who are in your face and super-direct and obvious that they want you right from the first moment they see you are called "sluts" by society... girls who have difficulty showing interest despite knowing you for months at all are called "shy girls".

      According to you there are no girls in between these two groups. You're creating false dichotomies because you want to oversimplify reality.

      You've also said that you think if a man isn't willing to do that, he almost certainly won't get laid.

      Why do you feel the need to lie? That's a lie considering my comment right above says the opposite. Please don't lie.

      In my experience its easy to find girls who make it pretty clear they're into you and are quite willing to do their share of the work for the most part

      In a social circle where you're advertising you want to be a boyfriend yes and have the patience to just be social for a long time... yes there's a ton of them... where she's looking for a boyfriend and not quick casual hookup? Yes, a ton of those.

      Secondly, that's a strawman. NOBODY SAID OTHERWISE. Nobody ever said you can't find girls who make it easy for you. That was never a contested issue. Why do you feel the need to lie? You can find girls who make it obvious in every enviroment, even clubs. (most have a reputation as "sluts" btw).

      Most interested girls won't stare you down with a "come approach and fuck me" face. But are there enough such girls for you to get 2-3 lays a year? Of course. Are club girls who don't STARE you down with a huge grin all shy and find you unattractive? No.

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    7. Part 2
      Alek, you've admitted that you regularly hit on girls who show you no interest, and persist past disinterest, and that this has you feeling sad nearly every time you wake up with a girl these days

      (facepalm)...

      Except you're making shit up. I have never said "I regularily hit on girls who show me NO INTEREST".

      The words"regularily" and "no interest"/"disinterest" have appeared in a sentence about what girls I hit on.

      This is an UTTER LIE. Especially since whenever I've talked about this it has been with a conversation about how to tell the difference between "disinterest" and mixed signals.

      Listen up you oversimplifying buffoon. DISINTEREST IS UTTERLY CLEAR. Nobody HAS EVER SAID that its possible to get girls who show CLEAR disinterest. IN FACT, this has been repeated every time the conversation has been had to the tune of "now, clear DIS-interest is obvious, and it means you have no chance, it never works". Yet you feel the need to lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and LIE ALL OVER AGAIN.

      We can have a discussion if you DONT TELL UTTER 10000% LIES. We can have disagreement, we can have differences, but if you can't be so fucking dishonest as to not tell UTTER lies, what's the point?

      THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A DISCUSSION OF (going for):

      - A) girls who make it super duper obvious in your face and throw themselves at you with zero ambiguity and who are super direct and do 50% of the work

      vs

      - B) girls who show clear disinterest

      NO SUCH DISCUSSION HAS EVER EXISTED. Its entirely made up by you. Nobody has EVER argued for that B position. Its entirely your construction. You are arguing with GHOSTS, made up imaginary people with imaginary claims.

      Here's a funny fact about all the obvious chicks I've banged

      Every single time I have hooked up with a girl who makes it super-duper obvious and quick (EVERY SINGLE TIME, except once)... Later on when bragging about it, I'd find out that almost ALL of my friends had ALSO banged her.

      One dude would have banged her on holiday in Ibiza, another would have banged her in a club 2 years back, another actually hooked up with her in his car just 2 weeks before me (ewww). And mind you, they all met her independently of one another. Its not like they met her from the same place/mutual acquintance.

      You're getting the point right? What you're basically saying is that only sluts can be interested.

      So you're either talking about getting to know a girl over time (where even non sluts can relax and show obvious interest over time). Or if we're talking a girl showing immediate and quick obvious sexuality after knowing you for seconds, you're probably talking about sluts.

      Now I like & respect sluts myself, so I'm not using it as a negative term. I don't feel sad after banging a slut. I love that she was straight up and played no games. I just find it funny you say that sluts are the only girls who are attracted to a man.

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    8. I'm studying psychology so as you can imagine I'm pretty much surrounded by girls. What you are saying about signalling interest in social circles totally matches my experience. As the girl knows you for longer she will feel more comfortable showing interest. Isn't that why most couples meet at work or school/uni?

      I was often surprised how girls who used to ignore me when I tried to make eye contact would later on give me stares/smiles and sometimes even fuck-me expressions.

      If I tried to determine my attractiveness based on reactions from girls during first few months I'd probably think I were hideous.

      Only small number of girls will show interest right away, most will show interest if you talk to them and minority of them will continue to feign disinterest even after you talk to them.

      And I think that anon above posted here before. His two basic premises are:
      1)Girls give obvious signals of interest
      2)If you don't get any signals of interest then you should go after uglier girls

      We can all deduce his level of experience with women. Go out, hit on 100 different women and see how results will vary. You will get uglier women who will turn you down and you will get hotties who will be enthusiastic to hook up with you.

      Private taste is as strong as shared taste so lowering your standards makes no sense unless you are fat, unhygienic, extremely short or have some kind of facial deformity.

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    9. Alek, I was pretty clear. Girls show (fairly) obvious signals in clubs and bars - again, in my experience, and I am not special in any way. If your experiences are different, no big deal. I don't think you are representative. No, girls who smile and make eye contact in clubs are not considered sluts. And no, this has nothing to do with social circle.

      Yes, you did make those comments. Not sure why you are denying them.

      Anon - I live in NYC. I've had sex with over 800 girls - literally. I counted it with a friend the other day. To be fair, most, but not all, were prostitutes :)

      Anon above - it seems like you are confusing friendliness, that comes with more exposure through social circle, with attraction. Or, you are boyfriend material but not "hot" material to these girls.

      There seem to be a certain group of men who simply do not want to accept that they are limited in the quality they can get. Fair enough - good luck to you guys. Keep the dream alive, I guess.

      Not denying the validity of anyone's experiences, just thought it was interesting how mine differed so radically. Good luck with whatever works for you, guys.

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    10. Alek novy: "...... I’ve honestly been depressed after 95% of lays, because the first thought to my mind after orgasm was always “bitch, why all this effort?”… Why did I have to take 10000% of the risks, 10000% of the work, and I always was put in a spot of “risking harrasmment”....."

      https://omegavirginrevolt.wordpress.com/2015/01/15/dr-manginalove-should-be-named-dr-hypocrisy/#comments

      ".....And that made me depressed. Like fucking c*nt, if you’re so freaking attracted to me, WHY THE HECK DID YOU PUT ME IN A SPOT OF risking “harrassment” to get with you?

      Why did you, AND EVERY SINGLE woman ever PROACTIVELY pretend you’re not attracted, pretend you’re not interested and insist that I get rejected left and right to find out who the interested ones are."

      ".....By “risking harassment” I mean where a woman who’s attracted to you ACTS EXACTLY the same* as a woman who wants you to stop pursuing her. The difference is she wants to feel wanted and desired, by acting like she’s not interested and seeing if you’ll still pursue her…

      …only after you pursue her past a bunch of her pretending to not be interested… does she then OUT OF NOWHERE reveal she’s had a crush on you since forever and finds you super attractive… and then you can’t get rid of her....."

      Delete
    11. "Anon - I live in NYC. I've had sex with over 800 girls - literally. I counted it with a friend the other day. To be fair, most, but not all, were prostitutes :) "

      How many non-prostitutes?

      Delete
    12. @Anon :

      I think I only fuck 10-20% of the girls that are attracted to me, precisely because of the fact that 80-90% of the cunts make you jump through hoops or play stupid games.

      Women can drive you nuts. And I enjoy peace of mind. So jumping through hoops no more.

      My strategy nowadays is really simple :
      1. Every girl that plays games can go fuck herself
      2. I only fuck girls that do their part of the job

      Example :
      1. EC from a girl
      2. I approach her and we exchange numbers (daygame)
      3. I wait for HER to contact me

      If she doesn't contact me, she can go fuck herself.

      My strategy works pretty well, because 99% of the girls that contact me, I fuck them without any effort.

      Doest it mean that 99% of the girls that are attracted to me make it very clear that they are attracted to me ? HELL NO ! It's still only 10-20% of the girls. The other 80-90% are screened OUT by my strategy (they don't contact me because they think they are princesses and they expect me to do all the work).

      Delete
    13. "There seem to be a certain group of men who simply do not want to accept that they are limited in the quality they can get. Fair enough - good luck to you guys. Keep the dream alive, I guess. "

      You are strawmanning. Nobody is saying that there are no limits in quality of the girl you can get. I was trying to say that there is a strong subjective component in how attractive you are to someone and that you can get pretty good love life if you play the numbers game right instead of settling for the first girl that throws herself at you. By that I don't mean you will bang supermodels left and right but simply that you can find cute girls who you enjoy a lot rather than going after someone you are barely attracted to out of desperation. Besides, you can't even know your limit before you have hit on at least dozens of women. I can't believe that someone who has been with over 800 women disagrees that people have different taste in looks.

      Furthermore nobody said girls don't show obvious interest. If you go out and get smiles from women at a bar that doesn't invalidate what Alek and others have been saying. Point is only subset of women who are attracted to you will show interest first. If you are so experienced with women as you claim then you would know they have much more insecurities than average guy. Furthermore some of them indeed enjoy being chased so they will sometimes feign disinterest.

      And no, I'm not confusing friendliness with sexual interest. I'm not popular in their social circle, have nothing to offer them nor have I made any attempts to befriend those girls. I do not have any long-term qualities to offer them such as better social life or more money. Personally I never hit on girls who show little to no interest as I always thought they were simply uninterested. But what Alek has been saying matches my experience quite well. Note that I'm attending lectures in two different generations and in both cases this pattern had emerged. I've layed only one of those girls and she already has a boyfriend who is a singer in a band and therefore much more popular than me.

      Delete
    14. "I think I only fuck 10-20% of the girls that are attracted to me, precisely because of the fact that 80-90% of the cunts make you jump through hoops or play stupid games."

      I'm not saying this isn't the case for you, but it wasn't for me. I've tried chasing girls who showed me no obvious signs of interest - although I have to admit I have never done what Alek has done and chased girls who act "just like a girl who wants you to stop pursuing here", that's gotta take balls, and it sounds suicidal and depression-inducing - but my ROI was very low.

      Since I switched to only chasing girls who make eye contact or smile, I get laid much more often.

      Obviously a part of this is simply because my time is better invested, but when I was chasing girls with no obvious interest I very rarely happened to get them - and not for lack of effort.

      My experiences lead me to conclude that for me at least, there aren't many girls who are willing to hook up with me but disguise that. I suspect I am getting around 80% of the girls who like me or are available to me in any given bar based on eye contact and smiles. I'm probably losing 20% or less.

      Either way, kudos to you for having your policy - I have the exact same policy and it has been an immense benefit to my life.

      Anonymous - I agree with what you say about what beauty level a guy can get. My point is that if you are consistently struggling with a particular level, it might be time to lower your level. Not one or two times, but over the course of weeks/months you are having difficult encounters/no signals from women at a certain level, it might not make sense to wait it out for that one girl at that level that might be open to you - its probably no gonna happen. But ovbviously you have to go out a bunch of times to get a good sense of the range of women that are into you. I have ugly women hit on me all the time.

      Alek has repeatedly said that girls don't show interest - more, that they show disinterest as a tactic. That nearly all girls do this. This doesn't tally with my experience remotely. I was responding to that.

      In my experience its the opposite - only a subset of the women who are available to you will hide their interest and make you jump through hoops. I would never deny such women exist and that every guy will run in to them, but simply refusing to deal with such women won't kill your sex life and will enhance your life in every way.

      Delete
    15. Let's lighten up the conversation with a song and dance from a best-selling song from a woman's group singing about things most women never do :D (secret is alek wrote the song and made millions from trying to brainwah little girls, but alek failed, since most women still don't do what this song sings about...

      Now as it turns out, alek is so megapowerful of a villain that a LARGE PORTION of the best-selling female songs in history are about this topic, but according to our feminist troll, billions of copies of lyrics are being sold about something Alek invented... he's that powerful, he's rigged all of hollywood and music entertainment, in fact Beyonce works for Alek too (did ya know this?)

      "Alek has repeatedly said that girls don't show interest "

      WHY THE FUCK DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO LIE AND STRAWMAN. Disagreement is ok, its fine. LYING and strawmen are not.

      You purposefly conflate 5 different things to create strawmen, such as conflating cold vs warm, and SOCIAL vs SEXUAL interest.

      A large portion can show clear SOCIAL INTEREST, which isn't the same thing you idiot.

      I.E she's clearly friendly to you, but that may indicate a desire for friendship, or a desire for sex (its ambigious by virtue of it being friendly behaviour, not sexual)

      FOR THE RECORD: (FOR THE FUCKING 2342323th time)

      Alek Says: INTERESTED WOMEN WILL SHOW INTEREST IN YOU

      STOP FUCKING LYING.

      But for most women the only "clear" interest you expect is clearly friendly behavior.

      - In social enviroments you can expect her to be the first to show this friendly, social interest (if you're charming, approachable and friendly looking)... but even then its the most confident women who can do this FIRST

      - In cold enviroments, no matter how interested a woman, it will be rare for her to EVEN show mere social interest first. She will wait

      - Do they not show sexual interest ever? They do, but it will be couched in ambiguity, hints, mixed messaging etc.

      Most women prefer hints and mixing messages UNTIL you make a proceptive move FIRST (i.e. you have to be the first one to make intentions clear before they are UNAMBIGIOUS back)

      Delete
    16. Feminist Troll Statements:

      Feminist Troll Lies: Oh, so alek says to pursue clearly disinterested women

      Feminist Troll Claims: I (as a feminist pretending to be a man on male blogs) have fucked 800 women and know from experience that most women show 100% clear and unambigious interest.

      Feminist Troll Lies: Alek says to appraoch and pursue women who show 100% disinterest, this alek idiot claims that no woman ever shows any interest.

      We have also learned the following from our favorite feminist troll

      - Getting women within your league is the most effortless thing on the planet if you merely drop the ego, have the right air about you, then they will chase you down, stare at you with a huge smile when you walk past them on the street, club, mall etc, they will show 100% unambigious sexual interest (no hints, no mixed messages, no games, 100% clear risk-taking on her part)...

      - There is no multi-billion escort & prostitution industry... I mean why would hundreds of millions of men pay to bang average-loooking women? So its all made up. Prostitution doesn't exist. Alek invented it all...

      - Every major blockbuster female pop-song, romance novel and movie about throwing hints is... well, the singers were comissioned and paid for by alek? So were the millions of records sold, with lyrics about things women DONT DO in real life.

      - Also the fact that 10000% of the scientific literature about human mating says that human females force human males through courtship filled with mixed signalling and forcing males to perform multiple proceptive behaviours before admitting interest back?

      Well, as it turns out Alek bought off 1000% of all scientists, universities and documentary makers. In fact, he bought off all zoooligsts as well, since this is done by all mammals as well (not just human females).

      Delete
    17. Your not a megavillain, alek. You have decent things to say about game, but I feel you're not very reliable when it comes to getting women. My experiences differ from yours. No biggie.

      I provided a quote above where you said every single woman ever (your words) acts like she is disinterested and exactly like a woman who wishes you would stop pursuing her. I am not sure what you hope to gain by continuing to deny this. Its obvious we are both talking about sexual interest, not social.

      You way over complicate things, also, perhaps in a deliberate effort to confuse.

      You would be much more impressive if you confined yourself to writing against game, where you excel.

      Delete
    18. To the anon who claims to have fucked 800 women, most of which were prostitutes. I can tell that you're full of shit just based on your statement that you "counted" all those women. Of course you may have a diary, but if you're going by your memory, then there is no way you can recount them, barring some Rain Man like capabilities. If you fuck a lot of women, it will turn into such a blur that you can barely remember faces.

      Your statement about women giving "clear signals" is utterly ludicrous. It's not if you believe that regular women behave like street walkers, but they are actually far from it. We've had this discussion on this blog quite a few times, and I'm pretty tired of it. To me, and anybody else who has actual, real-life experience with women (as a straight man) your drivel is akin to claiming that the sky is red or that women don't file for divorce.

      Delete
    19. 800 is obviously an approxomation. Its in the ballpark. No, I don't keep a diary.

      I understand. You are no longer interested in having anyone write on your blog that eye contact and smiles in clubs and bars are fairly common, and in your opinion eye contact and smiles in bars constitutes street walker like behavior.

      Its your blog and I respect your right to censor content in any direction you wish, so I will cease and desist.

      Peace

      Delete
    20. 800 is such a ridiculously large number that even a ballpark estimate will be way off. I was once asked, by a doctor, to quantify how many women I've had sex with in the last three months --- after I told him that I would not be able to recollect my lifetime total. Guess what: even that I had to guestimate, because if you fuck a lot of women, it just becomes a blur. You claiming to recall 800, and making this statement with some degree of certainty is laughable.

      Now, about signals: it's unambiguous if a guy walks up to a chick and says hi to her. PUA-tards were claiming that if you're using an "indirect opener", then she wouldn't realize that you're actually sexually interested in her, but that's just bogus. A woman merely looking at you does not communicate, "hey, want my pussy?" Plenty of women only give off signals in order to get attention --- this is why sometimes men who are not particularly attractive get a smile here and there, and after he has bought her drinks, she's gone again.

      Delete
    21. Aaron, I've had a very unusual life.

      From the age of 27-32, I was getting prostitutes about 4 times a week, 8 months out of the year, give or take. That's 16 whores a month and 128 whores for 8 months, times 6 years that's 768.

      Lets say that's an overestimation so lets keep it at 700.

      Then there are the regular girls I've banged, which is more like like 20-25/year, but only some years after I began to relax around girls, stop the games and fake front, and learn to better spot the interested ones and invest my time properly - before that, far fewer than 20 a year.

      800 seems like a decent ballpark figure.

      I realize it sounds crazy, but like I said, I've had an unusual life.

      I agree that when PUA's say saying hi to a girl in a bar it isn't obvious you're hitting on her that's retarded. I used to say that to them all the time, back when I bothered arguing with them, before I realized they were insane.

      I also agree that a girl looking at you can be a false signal - I believe I mentioned on this or another thread.

      My point is simply that you should be choosing from the girls who are looking at you or smiling at you (or otherwise indicating or approachable) - not from the ones who "act completely disinterested". Yes, some of those will be false signals, without question.

      Its simply been my experience that plenty of girls in bars and clubs do indeed make eye contact and/or smile, and certainly once you engage them they do not "hide interest" (the bigger problem is rather that sometimes they will fake interest to exploit you) - again, in my experience - and moreover, that going after girls that give no signs of interest, or continuing with a girl who "acts completely uninterested" once you've said hi, hasn't worked out for me at all, and will probably lead to a mental breakdown.

      Again, just my experience and its interesting to hear others take on it.

      Delete
    22. "Plenty of women only give off signals in order to get attention"
      => Very true.

      And not only to get attention ; to manipulate too ! That's the reason of the "friendzone".

      Guy believes the girl likes him because she smiles at him or talks to him or wanst to hang out with him, then he has many hopes and offer this girl drinks/dinners/whatever or he becomes a personal taxi for her, etc.

      The guy can even touch her or kiss her on the cheeks, but if he dares making a sexual move (touching intimate zones like ass, boobs, pussy), suddenly she gives him the speech : "I'm not a slut" (but she just sucked this hot guy's dick in the club yesterday night) + "let's just be friend".

      Delete
    23. Anon800: this story sounds a lot different from your previous claim that you've counted them.

      Delete
    24. Also, the troll* keeps conflating social interest vs sexual interest.

      A woman being friendly to you is 10000 leagues away from "put your john inside of me".

      I wouldn't mind that a troll conflates it in his/her life alone

      - If he thinks 20 women a year signal clear "take me home now" message to him, just because they merely made eye contact with him - THAT's ABSOLUTELY fine.

      - And if he then exaggerates those 20 women a year merely making eye-contact with him, to it being 100 women staring him down with a huge "come hither" seductive smile. That's also fine.

      - And if he then convinces himself that he had sex with those "100 women" who merely made eye-contact, that's also fine... (remember, in this person's head, eye-contact = seductive come hither look = sex)

      The SERIOUS problem comes WHEN he uses that conflation to LIBEL others

      Alek: Most women will not throw themselves at you and spell out their sexual interest.

      Feminist Troll: Oh, so Alek promotes hitting on women who show clear DISINTEREST.

      Alek: No douchebag, we're talking about the fact that most women, unless super-drunk will not show immediate and quick "clear unmistakable SEXUAL interest". Disinterest IS clear.

      However with most women, their "I'm just social vs i'm social and also want to bang you" is not that different. In fact, most women go out of their way to pretend its just social.

      Feminist Troll: Oh, so you're saying that women who are interested FAKE disinterest and pretend to be rejecting you!?!? Wow, that's so rapey. So you suggest that if a woman is telling you fuck off and turning her back, to keep "plowing"

      Alek: When we say the average woman hides her sexual interest, we mean... "She'll act like a potential friend, not like someone who's your lover".

      Feminist Troll: I dunno man, if all of you guys like plowing on women telling you "fuck off" and turning their backs on you, go ahead, but that's not a good idea.

      Feminists hurt young boys by teaching them to feel ugly and undesirable.

      That's my motivation with these trolls. That's what pisses me off. This is why these feminist trolls are such a pet peeve of mine.

      Feminists actually tell boys the lie that most women supposedly show "enthusiastic and over the top "in your face" sexual interest". And they instruct the boy to NEVER show sexual interest first. Wait for her to show it, otherwise its "uninvited".

      The boy then goes out into the real world, and finds a ton of women who merely act social to him at best. After a while he thinks "I must be the ugliest boy on the planet, no girl is showing me clear "bang me now" signs"...


      Delete
  5. Shave your head down to a horseshoe pattern and THEN tell yourself hair doesn't matter to women.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Read the post again.

      Delete
  6. This is interesting. I read both recent posts.

    The weird thing about choosing to live a healthier lifestyle is how much flack people will give you for it. You'll constantly get mocked by people who don't exercise and eat properly. You're considered a "pussy" for not wanting to slam back a bunch of brews all the time.

    I also find it odd how dressing better is deemed "gay" by some guys. I met up with a friend I hadn't seen for a while a couple nights ago, and I mentioned how I was in Montreal in May. I told him it was fun and the style there was amazing. He said, "The fashion was cool? You sound gay or something." This came from a guy wearing a "property of Boston Red Sox" shirt. It really made me wonder what kind of women he's been seeing lately. I'm sure anyone can agree that women like men who are sharply dressed. Being in half decent shape and not dressing like a slob puts the majority of guys in top % of men.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "I also find it odd how dressing better is deemed "gay" by some guys."

      You can almost make a rule "If average guys tell you x makes you appear gay, then x most likely is something that will get you laid more".

      Would you believe that EVEN something like better posture is deemed "gay". Seriously, when guys ask me for advice (IRL) and I show them how to lengthen their spine etc etc... They say "but that's gay" "that looks so gay".

      How the heck is not slouching over "gay"?

      Delete
    2. hahha the guy was just having fun ,but he right most of them are gay ,he has the right to wear what he wants to wear .

      okey asshole .

      Delete
  7. what? lately my desire to bang women dropped, i find it a hassle.
    it doesnt look so great yet i jack off like i always do.
    man, women are really scared to show interest. i see a lot of chicks
    looking at me when i am not looking and then looking in other direction when i look at them
    and in a cold environment, i almost dont see looks at all.
    shit, its like playing hide and seek. she hides when you seek, she doesnt hide when u dont seek.

    ReplyDelete
  8. http://blog.tattoodo.com/2015/06/tattoos-tackle-balding/

    ReplyDelete

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