Peacocking

[This is an excerpt from the current draft of my upcoming free ebook "Debunking the Seduction Community".]

Dressing well requires an understanding of fashion. Ideally, you belong to one scene or subculture anyway, and if you don't and are interested in one, you simply show up a couple of times, pay attention to what guys are wearing and you're good to go. If in doubt, ask people where they have bought their stuff. Most are a bit shallow anyway and love talking about themselves.

On the other hand, Mystery's “peacocking theory” presupposes that you have to wear certain items that make you stand out. Do a Google search and laugh at those pictures. In 2008 I used to go out a lot in London. “Pick up” was relatively mainstream, and those peope were usually extremely badly dressed. With my friend Terry --- the guy that got me started on fashion and who has now made his hobby into his profession --- I used to play the game “Spot the PUA”. It is great fun and maybe you should try it to.

Typical “peacocking items” include: furry hats, goggles, neclaces and bracelets in all shapes and forms. I have heard of people wearing feather boas, fur coats, pink suits, fishnets as tops and plateau boots, all in an attempt to stand out and to signal “immunity to social pressure.” Those extremes may be less common nowadays, but go to any mainstream club in the typical pick-up epicenters, and it shouldn't take you too long to see such people. Thus, the message is: if you look as if you don't belong, then you don't belong.

Forget "peacocking" --- work on developing your style instead.

Upcoming (free) ebook: Debunking the Seduction Community

My travels have kept me away from the Internet recently. However, I did find the time to work on a project that had been on the planning stages for a while. I will soon release a (free) ebook with the title “Debunking the Seduction Community”. Currently, I am adding suggestions from my commenters and proof-readers.

Over the next few days, I will publish some sample chapters on my blog. Feel free to comment and send feedback.

The planned release date is mid-April.

Regression in the "Dating" Community

I find a lot in the "community" really amusing. For instance, about a decade ago it consisted of geeks trying to figure out an algorithm that could get you laid. Mystery found his and patented it. Too bad hardly anybody gets laid using it. Then his buddy "Style" wrote a book that f*cked people up beyond belief. Everybody could now become a "pick-up artist" and learn how to pull "10s".

Some years down the line, after many wannabe gurus have come and gone, and claims have become more and more outlandish, people seemed to have steered back a little. Probably the attempt of getting accepted by the mainstream was another reason. Suddenly some terms changed. The seduction dating community adopted a friendlier tone. "Getting laid" was no longer the main goal (no surprise, given how well the "gurus" I have seen in field performed --- at least they could now be honest about it), dating and socialising was. Love Systems built a method around "giving value", and entertaining groups. From what I hear, it doesn't even seem to work for their own instructors. Inner game became also a huge topic, as I have described in my post "The New Thing in the Seduction Community: Not Getting Laid and Being Proud of it!?"

Those days you really miss reading posts by guys with balls, such as MrSex4uNYC and Razorjack, who both have great archives on mASF. Those were guys that just made things happen. They didn't pussyfoot around but instead got straight to the point. Given my narcissist tendencies, I also have to add that after my recent talk on "Overcoming the Seduction Industry" a guy approached me to thank me for it, telling me that his balls now felt bigger.

What happened to being a man? Look how guys like Mehow or Mystery or whoever else in this sad industry walks around. People like Savoy from Love Systems speak in a fake gay accent because they believe it makes them more attractive to women. Then someone told me it's probably just his Canadian accent that makes him sound like this, which now leads me to linking to this thread on PUAHate.com: Is Toronto the center of mental masturbation? The user Monstar writes:

Think about all the gurus that have come form this place...

mystery: awful theories and the creator of this fucked method
tyler d: mental masturbation supreme
savoy!: a fool!
barry kirkey: giving into jen who has red skin and big nose
dimitri the lover: no comment on this freak

Anyway, this was what went through my head when I opened the latest email with the title "A cute gold digger is still a gold digger" from Cliffslist.com. A dude with the odd name "Jason Foodgeek" gives advice on this issue:

Both male and females have been asking me who should pay for beginning dates (first, second, maybe third.) 

The problem:

Many women will offer to split the check on a beginning date. Some will take offense and not see you again if you don't pay for the whole check, even if they offer to pay part. Many women are screening men out for cheapness. Some women insist that a man let her share the cost. I've even had women insist on paying for a first or second date. There is no consistency.

It almost made my balls shrivel. Going on three dates!? Useless mainstream dating advice is apparently sipping into the "dating community". In a few years guys will probably post "date reports" on "socialising forums".

What happened to the seduction community?

Call: Bogus Community Concepts

I will soon release a (free) ebook based on my talk "Overcoming the Seduction Community". The people I have mentioned this to thought as well that this was a great idea. Some suggested to discuss some particularly harmful community concepts. As a consequence, I have expanded the draft to include examples of the mental masturbation that is so rampant in the community.

One section will be on Mystery's "Seven Hour Rule". One guy commented:

Also, do me a favor, dedicate an entire chapter in your ebook bashing the 7 hour rule and why it is bullshit. I've read field reports from guys who had a girl in their bedroom dripping wet, but didn't fuck her because they didn't want to break the 7 hour rule and have "fool's mate". Mystery is by far the worst guru in my opinion. 

What is your favourite nonsense concept? Feel free to send me an email or comment below.

A first draft should be out next week. I intend to regularly update the ebook, so feel free to email me any time.

Some Pickup Videos that further demonstrate my Point

Some people don't know when to stop. Routine Evangelist, the dude that wanted to tell me that I am full of sh*t replied to me, twice. For some reason it's always the least successful people that take offense to brutal honesty. On a Dutch seduction forum the only guy who criticised my talk "Overcoming the Seduction Community" incidentally referred to Neil Strauss' "The Game" as "his bible" and is probably still dreaming of getting a handjob.

First, Routine Evangelist's commentary to RSD Brad's laughable in-field video was:

Ok, so there's an "instructor" seducing a totally drunk girl and she basically says let's go somewhere else *HINT* and he's just being a douche ("are you from here?" sigh).

MAYBE he didn't want to leave because he wanted to make some more videos. I hope for him that's the reason.

You sometimes encounter this behaviour from sophomore students: "If you've been refuted and can't admit that you were wrong, just claim the most ridiculous thing you can think of and hope that your opponent gets tired of replying to you." His argument doesn't deserve any further comment. If you think it does, you may want to work on your reasoning skills.

But onto his follow-up:

Here's a hairless weird guy doing something that would scare most
people sh*tless, right there on the street, using some kind of
hypnotic routine.. And it's working like a charm.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RHTlSKMQzY

Here's another random PU vid from youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFjAb-fvzPs

I know what people are thinking.. Russian girls are easy.. Let's keep
going then, shall we..

Next video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ilxw4okzKj8

Cool day game ;p

Does any of the videos suggest that the guys had sex with those girls later? I thought so. Here are some basic issues:

1) "Hypnosis" only works on susceptible people. It's a complete sham anyway, feel free to do your own research. He could have skipped most of the talking. If you are really good at seduction, you "feel" how susceptible she is and just escalate.

2) Yad talks way too much. He could have gotten the same much quicker.

3) Tim is also just bla bla bla.

The issue with "game" is that you guys spout it out no matter what, not realising when the girl is ready. My point still remains: you "pick up" girls that want to be picked up. The girl is already interested and the guy waffles on like there is no tomorrow (cf. Yad). Here is a question for you: if routines and all those techniques work so well, then how come you routines-junkies get rejected so many times?

Also, dude, what is the big deal with getting make outs anyway?

"But the community stuff works, dude, it really does!"

Apparently my slides on "Overcoming the Seduction Community" are spreading like wildfire. To compare it, Love Systems has 107 documents on Scribd, and 100 of those have less reads than my slides had after just two days. Anyway, onto a recent email:

First of all, I'd like to say you're not necessarily incorrect with most of your statements.. They can be true for a lot of people.. However..

How do you explain my friends and me, who live in Belgium (not UK/London or USA) who use a lot of routines etc. to Date, have relationships, fuck buddies etc. If the PU world is so full of shit.. Why does all that stuff work? One of my friends has a habit of constaly keeping 5-6 fuck buddies/open polygamous relationships. He uses routines all the time. He learned the game. If I tell him 5-10 women a year is a lot he'll laugh at me. Also, how do you explain the huge amount of pick-up videos shot "in-field" that show the game as taught by David Deangelo (a "marketer"), Mystery (a "magician"), etc WORK?

So if you could please offer an explanation for these facts I'd be very pleased to objectively read it AND if you convince me I WILL get your material and WILL advertise your material using Facebook and my network for free.

The quote in bold is the kicker, btw.

So, let's pull some magic out of Youtube's hat and have a look at this hapless amateur -- oh, I'm sorry, I meant to write "professional pickup instructor from RSD aka Real Social Dynamics":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42A_PXAPn3k

The woman tries to hand him his pussy over and over, and "Brad-" is too insecure to deal with the situation. His own comments on the video are nothing but hilarious: "starting kino escalaton ;)".

This short clip is a great expression of what is wrong with "game": guys don't seem to understand that woman really want to have sex. Really. They are yours for the taking. However, a guy educated in "game" misses all the signs and follows some inane theory on how to get girls when he has just to take them. Seduction is always mutual. The girl wants to be kissed, and the guy thinks of ways of "getting from A1 to A2" (if you don't get this reference, good for you, it's a jab at Mystery Method).

It is not the case that "game" works. People merely believe it does because they fail to realise that the woman is already interested. Yet, they keep on spouting out their lines, but because they focus too little on what is in front of them, they waste their time in the best case. In the worst case, though, they lose the girl because most women can't stand guys that don't dare to make a move. You don't get girls because of "game" -- you get them despite game, because they were tolerant enough to put up with it.

About the "5 to 10 women" bit in my seminar. The context was that if you have a life (!) outside of pickup, go out once or twice a month, have some hobbies, friends and the like, then this number is pretty decent.

Lastly, about the in-field videos: what do they exactly show? Some dude too afraid to ask for a number directly ("number close routine"), another guy too afraid to make a move (like the RSD guy above)? Probably I am missing something here... Feel free to point me to a source and I'll show you how this guy is wasting time with his "method" or f*cking it up royally.

"Overcoming the Seduction Community" / Slides

Here they are:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/27726947/

...plus the description from Scribd.com:

I gave a talk in Rotterdam at the "Real Man Conference Try Out." Five speakers were invited, and the audience was supposed to select people to speak at the Real Man Conference in April 2010.

My talk "Overcoming the Seduction Community" was on the many wrong concepts that are being taught within the seduction community, and what the core of pickup really is. (Yes, it's that simple.)

If you are stuck doing "routine-based" or "indirect" game and not really getting anywhere, those slides might give you some inspiration.

I got a standing ovation from the audience for this talk and glowing reviews from the attendants. Due to other commitments I can't come to the RMC in April, though.

"Hearing him talk was enough to go through the annoyances of the other speakers and intermissions though.."
--Sailing, ThePlace.bz

Some of the attendants asked me for the slides, and a little later more people emailed me, so it seems that there is enough interest to share this PDF publicly.

"Aaron Sleazy" on PUAHate.com is really me

There was some confusion surrounding my registration over at PUAHate.com. This post is to confirm that it is indeed me. As a long-time critic of the seduction industry ("community" doesn't seem to be a fitting word anymore), it was just consequential for me to join this forum.

From Masturbation to Mental Masturbation

Last weekend I gave a talk in Rotterdam with the title "Overcoming the Seduction Community." The event was the "Real Man Conference Try Out." The aim of this event was to try out a couple of speakers for the Real Man Conference in Aachen, Germany this April. During this time I won't be in Europe, so I decided to tone down the mainstream appeal of my talk and risk pissing off some people. After all, I am know as a staunch critic of the seduction industry/community.

Here is one of the slides I have used:

Of the many problems inherent in the seduction community, mental masturbation is one of the most severe. The amount of people who theorize based on other people's theories or on precious little real-life experience is staggering.

Phone Game is a particularly fascinating topic. After having gotten a number -- without realising how absurdly simple this is -- Joe Douche pulls out some fancy text game routines, and eventually phone game tactics, without realising these facts:

• If she likes you, she will just meet up with you.
• If she doesn't like you, she won't (but feel free to entertain her).

Even worse for Joe Douche: He doesn't know that a seducer either gets the girl on the same night or arranges a meet-up, should sex not be an option. If you can't think of anything to do, try: "Let me think of something. I'll call you tomorrow." Then you call her --- and if she doesn't answer and doesn't call you back, she is not interested. In this case, you do not go online to ask for advice on how to "turn it around."

Some weeks ago I had an almost bizarre discussion on the Casanova Crew message board. I told some guys to forget about numbers, and a guy named Decibel, who apparently thinks he is a seducer because girls occasionally go on dates with him (this misconception should make for another illuminating post) dared to disagree. He told me he had a "system" that allowed him to have dates with 80% of the girls whose numbers he gets. Personally, I smell bullshit whenever I hear such statements. The most amusing statement, though, was when he claimed that going out, meeting girls, collecting numbers and then "running txt game" was more efficient than going out and pulling a girl on the same night. The latter is probably inconceivable for him, which led him to claim the former.

So, once again, let's bring some sense into this discussion and assume that your "80% and txt phone game" is indispensable. Ask yourself this question:

Could it be that a girl that is interested to meet up would do so in any case?

I think she would. And even if she belongs to the few that are in the grey zone called "kinda interested" --- it is a much better use of time to just forget about those girls. Your day is as long as mine, and surely you have better things to do than wasting time on the phone. Thus, forget about your Excel spread sheet with all those phone numbers, which you call every Monday. If "pickup" feels like work, then there is something wrong with it.