I don't know if this is legit or not (judging from the haircut it has to be Vince), but on another forum there is currently a Vince Kelvin sex tape floating around. Before you ask your cat to claw out your eyes, be informed that Vince first gets a BJ from a fattie, then bangs the fattie in missionary position and all this next to a passed out person.
Do not watch this immediately after eating, otherwise you might just chunder everywhere!
Yes, the guy is Vince Kelvin. Vince, let us see another one of your fabulous lays! Maybe there's even a career in gonzo porn for you.
Be prepared to cover part of the video with your hand. I did while watching it. At the same time, I was laughing hard because Vince stayed completely in character, making his strange facial expressions. A few times, you can even see him looking at the guy who is hiding in the closet and filming.
Many people seemed to love my recent mockery of Vince Kelvin. However, I was more than surprised at the level of cognitive dissonance in this "communit". One of the commenters wrote:
The funny part is that there are many guys who are just as deluded as VK, but don't realize it.
I was reading a post by Roosh fans, and they were mocking VK... They were saying "oh, when people mock us and our super magical game powers, they're really mocking VK"Those guys are actually just as deluded as VK, but think they're unlike him.
So, let me spell it out for the cognitive dissonance crowd: When I am mocking Vince Kelvin I am obviously mocking one particular guy. However, Vince Kelvin stands for "game" as it is commonly understood. Therefore, by mocking Vince Kelvin I make fun of everyone who does something similar.
If you dress like a clown (or just put on one or two "peacocky" items) If you cold approach like a retard If you "plow" when the girl shows she has absolutely no interest in you If you linger around on the street and prey on girls If you go to a club to "sarge HBs" If you collect phone numbers and think they are an achievement If you "practice approaches" In general: if you stick to "mainstream game" ...then there is a Vince Kelvin in you!
One of the most popular articles on this blog is Vince Kelvin, the Joke is on You! It's easy to see why this is so, because not only does it give an insight into the immense cognitive dissonance that befalls many guys in this community, it's also hilarious to watch the video and go through my comments on selected screenshots.
Vince Kelvin wasn't really on my mind for a long time, but then I stumbled upon a post in which a short PUA claimed that Vince Kelvin was his role model. Funnily enough, that guy posted another video of Vince in field. Well, let's just have a look at it first, and then dissect it.
I really hope none of were impressed by this video. If you were, then fasten your seat belt. In the first scene we see Vince harassing a woman walking on the street. It is apparent that he didn't take my advice from last time, where I mentioned that he should avoid women who are taller than him. Just look at this:
I love how she looks down on him, thinking something along the lines of "What the f*ck is this?" This girl goes by the name of "Lexy", and we'll hear more about her later.
Vince is shadow boxing. The woman is ugly. He doesn't mind.
She stops, but only briefly. Did you notice her body language?
In the next scene, we witness Vince preying on what looks like two schoolgirls. First, he's a very good creep by standing next to a tree and blocking their way as they get closer. They have surely seen him from a mile apart. Subtlety is surely not his strong suit.
"So, there was this guy, and he was just standing there, creeping out all the girls who walked past."
Now Vince realizes that the girls aren't really that hot. He doesn't care.
Oh, look how eager they are to hand out their phone number. Yes, sweetie, it really is 0-4-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9.
The next interaction blew my socks off as I couldn't understand how anybody can be so blind to the reaction of a girl. First, he approaches this woman, who gives him plenty of signals that indicate that she doesn't like him at all. Women are just less confrontational than men, so they hope that by ignoring him he'll go away. But he won't.
His fabulous "opener" was something like, "This is my bench, I sleep on it every night!" But would really be so sure that he is joking if he said it to you? Maybe Vince should try the "Hey, do you have some change?"-opener as well. I hear it is rather popular in some areas. What is even worse, though, is that he is then pestering this poor woman, like by extending his hand and not figuring out that her looking down might be tantamount to her asking to be left alone:
Seriously, look at this! If you bothered a guy who gave you an indication like that, you'd risk getting punched. Vince, however, seemingly knows absolutely nothing about body language, or just common decency. He's not only embarrassing himself, but the woman too.
Pro-Tip: If a woman carries a lot of stuff, she probably doesn't want to be bothered by some random dude.
Vince Kelvin is a real trooper. No matter what a girl looks like or how (dis-)interested she may be, he takes a shot. Her body language could hardly be more negative:
Even though this girl is fat, she is not desperate enough to appreciate Vince's advances.
Honestly, what is he doing!?
Before we revisit "Lexy", who is certainly proud to be featured in this video, let's have a look at Vince Kelvin's fabulous marketing material. Frankly, at first I thought it was a parody. Look how amateurish this looks:
Yes, he wrote "begun" with a Q!
Thankfully, Vince Kelvin is not only every woman's dream, he also has a subtle sense of humor, as evinced in his statement that he will be "coming in a city near you." Got it bro? Coming, like in "cumming". Bro, did you get it? Bro? That's, like he means he's, like, going to "cum" in our city. Do you get it now, bro? He he! Got it? That smart, bro, isn't it? Isn't this really really smart?
Yo, Vince, I think you put the wrong word in quotation marks.
Vince, Vince, Vince!
But what happened to "Lexy"? Well, here's some more shots:
Oh, they're totally going to hook up. For sure.
No, this won't be going anywhere. Just look at the following shot. Vince harasses her to give him a hug, and it's obvious that she just wants to get away. What I found especially hilarious was that he then jumps up and kisses her on the cheek. Isn't that cute? He's just like a cute little squirrel.
Just looking at this shot, you could be forgiven for thinking that Vince attacks that poor girl.
But wait, there's more! In the comment thread on YouTube, I came across this gem:
So, to make it clear: What Vince received is called a group message. This girl simply sent this to everyone whose number she's got in the phone, and for a party girl this makes absolute sense. I don't quite understand Vince's broken English, but he seemingly wants to say that girls like that are common in his life. So, Vince, do you mean that you occasionally get random text messages that lead to nothing at all, and that you don't mind looking for some random chick at 6 a.m. (because you haven't gotten laid)?
Further, "1xSuperman" doesn't get that "Lexy" actually has rejected him, and so have all the other girls he didn't end up having sex with. Sure, Vince can fool himself by saying that "rejection doesn't existe in my frame of mind", and that "all the girls were very welcoming." I certainly didn't get the impression from this video, which was obviously cherry-picked from countless interactions (hint: why do you think there are cuts if this somehow hadn't been the case?). If anything, they give him a chance to not lose face in public. Think of the girl sitting on the parking bench. He molested her, and she looked down to give him the clear signal that he should piss off. Yet, he doesn't take the hint.
My piece on Vince Kelvin seems to be an evergreen, given how many hits I get for it. Unsurprisingly, though, his homeboys in SoCal weren't so pleased about it. After a few months, I finally have the time to respond to the absurd charge that I am a racist. But let's take on step at a time!
On the Casanova Crew message board, someone started a thread with the title Community Shock Jock Tries tooling CC Vince Kelvin. The charge is that even though "certain jokes about Vince Kelvins appearance are funny!!!" (Thanks!), my statement that he should "Go for women shorter and your own race" didn't find his approval.
While going through my backlog of emails, I came across a hilarious video filmed in Los Angeles, home to the "Casanova Crew", which describes itself as the "largest active pick up artist community in North America". There was a time when they made more modest claims, and I'm sure by the rate the ego of their administrator J The Ripper is growing, he will soon claim to run the biggest forum in the universe.
The video is a collage of impressions from a talk given by "Vince Kelvin". Here's the link to those nine minutes of unintentional humor, but maybe you want to skip ahead and read my commentary first.
