Monday, April 12, 2010

Get out while you can

I gave a talk in Chicago last week. The crowd was pretty excited and I met a number of very interesting people. Among the topics we've discussed was the role of pickup and seduction in your life. One guy in the audience commented:
Isn't it somewhat ironic that you are now in a relationship, after acquiring all those skills?
I don't think it is.

There is a time for everything in life. I think it is rather sad to see people age, while their behavior doesn't change. This is especially true for people within the community, no matter whether they ever got the level of success they were dreaming about or not. I also recently read an interesting thread on PUAHate in which the user Jakal makes the following statement regarding Ross Jeffries, one of the pioneers of this industry:

People still buy his stuff, but if any of you see him today, he's a gray haired, washed up stubbled face jew who is just miserable and lonely in his studio Marina Del Ray apartment.   

I think there is nothing more miserable than a fifty or sixty year old player. It's like forty year old guys walking around in sports clothes (a rather common sight in the States). This is excusable for a fourteen year old. Or think of club girls with wrinkled faces, wearing their daughter's clothes. Life either drags us down, or we accept that we have to grow up as we grow older and change or roles accordingly.

While discussing some related ideas in my upcoming ebook, my friend Corley sent me an article by Toecutter, once a prominent poster on mASF. (The article in question was from a private lounge, though.) Here is an excerpt:
Take a reality check at your lives, fellas. Turn off the bullshit for a second, and examine your own relationships with women. How is it going? Is the community fucking you up? If so, QUIT! Like now. Quit the fucking thing. Get on with your life. Because how would you feel if you could fast forward to 10 years later, and it is still the same as today? 10 years fucking fly, man! You will be 10 years older before you know it. Would you be happy to be still chasing tail and getting the same results that you are getting at the moment?
In fact, "chasing tail" is certainly entertaining, but sooner or later there will be the point where it becomes repetitive. I had such an experience less than a year ago when I was out in Berlin at Berghain, once my favorite clubs (but it has completely gone down a cliff). I was seeing three girls simultaneously, and another girl was dancing in front of me, trying to get my attention. As I was about to make a move, I thought to myself, "Why do you even bother with this? All you have to do is pick up the phone if you want to get laid." At this point I realised what could almost be called the idiocy of pickup.

Once the thrill of the chase is gone and you've seen enough and done it all (and I have certainly seen and experienced what most men only know from porn movies), it really becomes boring. Sure, some guys are obsessed with increasing their "lay count" above everything else, but if you play the game this way, you can never "win". Or do you want to feel like Sisyphos?


  1. Hmm true, but there is a whole shade of things between chasing tail and having a monogamous relationship, but I guess that's not what you were after with this post.. You can love adventure, having more then one relationship and not be too concerned about your ego or laycount.. For me it's more about accepting that life is not about survival but a dynamic pleasure..

  2. Sure, I don't doubt that. However, the problem still is that if you are actively participating in something, you usually don't have the ability to distance yourself critically from it. At this point it becomes a trap that might hinder your personal development. This can happen in any area, "pickup" is just one example.

  3. Hm. What if you would not have "seen/done it all"?

    What if you have never really become good? Would you still be chasing tail?

    Furtermore what do you think it would it have done to your self esteem and overall life confidence?

    Don't get me wrong, I like your stuff very much and agree with you most of the time, but it is easy to say, this is all overrated, if you got yourself saturated, so to say.

    Especally if you just have to pick up the phone to get laid.

    Due to my gentics, life circumstances etc. I will probaly never get in a position where I will stop being at least to some degree sexually frustrated and feeling bitter about it.

    1. Answered here:


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.