Monday, April 5, 2010

State

[This is an excerpt from the current draft of my upcoming free ebook "Debunking the Seduction Community".]

In an attempt to differentiate themselves from their competitors, Real Social Dynamics focussed on teaching “natural game.” The pinnacle was to be found in a 20 DVD product with the title “The Blueprint Decoded”. The new magic pill this product taught was called “state”. What exactly state was wasn't entirely clear. Apparently you are in state if you feel good about yourself. Too bad you normally don't feel good about yourself all the time. But don't despair, this is where the Blueprint comes in: if you feel down and don't want to talk to anybody, then you “unstifle” yourself. In London I once bumpted into an RSD acolyte who frequently shouted warcries in a bar (!), claiming that doing so would make him immune from social pressure and put him into state. I shook my head in disbelief.

I am not familiar with any concept ever taught by this industry, but Rob Judge gave me a brief recap and an explanation why in his opinion “state” messes up more guys than anything else:

The "pioneers" of natural game lauded “state” like it's the "secret" to attracting women. However, to put the idea in a guy's head that he needs to “generate” state by talking to bunch of random of people will cripple guys more than it helps. It instills the belief people have to bring your confidence “out” of you, rather than just walking up (like a normal, attractive guy) and getting the girl. Moreover, it forces guys who are naturally introverted to take on a “fake personality” and makes them feel “ashamed” if they don’t want to chat up every random idiot at a bar. For me, I only chose to associate with 2 people when I’m out: 1.) my friends, 2.) hot girls. Fuck state!

I agree that forcing yourself to do something you don't want to do does more harm than good. (This doesn't apply if you have severe social phobias, in which case you are better off seeking professional help.) Related ideas can often be heard, such as “approach x girls a night”, “approach the first girl you see without exception”, or “go out five nights a week.” Rather, just do what you feel like. If you have to force yourself, you are already lost.

4 comments:

  1. I believe there is a subtle difference about what you feel like to do, and when you actually need to push yourself.

    For example if you are attracted to a particular girl in a club, but dont go see her for any reasons, then you should force yourself and grow some balls.
    This is in contrast of another girl wich was simply invisible in your radar, but that the "Community" force you to chatup. It may even had the opposite effect : you become lazy and accustomed to average girls and when you encounter a really hot one you loose all reference marks.

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  2. Thanks, that's a great example, which I think is very helpful for beginners. Maybe I'll add it to the text. How would you like to be credited? ("A reader", "neparlepas" or a different name?)

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  3. Just a reader.
    Checkout the forum when you have time, few feedbacks here.

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  4. I'm currently travelling and find it hard to keep up with everything. I've seen some interesting posts on the forum recently. Hopefully I can free up some time soon for it.

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