How to Make Girls Chase belongs to a new breed of books on pick-up that strive to give guys a realistic perspective on seduction, unlike Neil Strauss’s The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists or Mystery’s The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed, which both present a contrived model of seduction that is far from easily applicable, and oftentimes quite useless. Of course, the standard defense to this accusation is that Mystery’s “game” was developed to pull girls in the nightclubs of Hollywood. But if this is the case, then his teachings are of questionable merit for anyone who does not life in Los Angeles or wants to go after this particular kind of girl.
On the other hand, Chase Amante has the average guy in mind, no matter where he lives, what he does, or what kind of women he wants. He even goes to great lengths to also addresses the needs of people who seemingly start out below zero. This is not a mocking remark, though. How to Make Girls Chase is a very thorough book, and in its 420 pages it covers issues so detailed and intricate that no other seduction coach has written on them yet. For an experienced seducer, it is easy to take some things as granted, but for men without success, it’s often hard to realize that some of their habits literally drive women away.
Having a wealth of relevant information at your fingertips is great, but the downside is that guys can easily fall into the trap of believing that they have to learn or know everything in this book before they can go out and succeed with women. This is obviously not the case. If you want to get the most out of this book, I therefore recommend that you skim it first to get an overview. If something strikes you as too detailed, then it probably is because it’s an area you don’t have much need to improve on. On the other hand, you will most certainly find that you are lacking in some other areas, and in this case, make at least a note and get back to this section later.
Since every guy who writes on seduction draws from his own experiences (at least the legit ones do, the others just make things up) we pay attention to different aspect. As such, I don’t fully agree with some details — the general direction is definitely alright. To illustrate this, I will cite from the book:
If a woman feels a man is too easy, she will think little of him and his value (if he’s so valuable, why is he so easy to get?). Women will tend to dismiss him, although because they perceive him as too easy for them to get (and thus, lower in value than themselves), they will typically dismiss him in a thoughtful way that seeks to take care of his emotions.
This may be a valid interpretation. In the framework Chase Amante operates in, it is certainly a sensible piece of information, and heeding this advice will make it hard for you to ruin your chances with a woman that is interested in you. However, it is important to keep in mind that this can also be a matter of personal style, and not the only possible approach. Chase’s book shows you a lot of ways to meet women, and unlike the books I have mentioned in the beginning in the review, he does not come across as dogmatic.
But as it is often the case, there are corner cases where generally plausible rules don’t always apply. You certainly won’t shoot yourself in the foot if you stick to the advice of the quote. However, if you live in a metropolis with a vibrant nightlife and no shortage of women, you can play play the game hard and fast. You just don’t have to worry much about losing one girl if the next one you like is just two feet away. I know this is a luxury not everybody has, but in those situations you can comfortable indicate to the woman that you are “easy.” You can communicate that this is her one chance to get with you. She can take it or leave it, and she has to know that you’ll just pick some other girl if she doesn’t want to leave with you. Of course, this is a much more advanced approach to seduction and one not many guys would even dare to pull off. Yet, in the right context you can never be too easy if you want to get laid quickly.
However, given that Chase addresses the beginner to intermediate guy, I really can’t hold it against him that he omits special scenarios. Doing so would arguably just be confusing to the target audience of his book anyway, because you have to have a significant amount of experience in the first place. In general, How to Make Girls Chase does a great job to describe seduction to the layman and will give you a solid foundation. It is an excellent guide, and, even better, it is a very useful companion to go back and read up on various aspects of seduction. Even for an experienced guy it is a joy to go through the book. I felt as if I was comparing notes with Chase, and found out that we agree on a lot of of topics, and on others, we have a slightly different interpretation.
You may not agree with every fine detail if you are an experienced seducer, but this book will at the very least make you aware of some minor aspects of seduction you have not paid much attention to before. Thus, it may help you to refine some parts of your “game”. On the other hand, if you don’t belong to that small group of people, you should go ahead and get How to Make Girls Chase because it will not only give you an excellent foundation. It also has so much content that you will grow with it. As you work through the material, you will learn to reflect on it and put your own experiences into context. Eventually, you will mature as both a seducer — and a man.
good book. bit too long but there are some pearls of wisdom. i tried his 'Hard Push' and it worked the second time i met this girl. end up shagging the hottest girl in years. cheers guys
ReplyDeleteHey Aaron, in your criticism of the advice you quote from How to Make Girls Chase you seem to be saying that one can't "play the game hard and fast" if they aren't approaching women and presenting themselves as "easy"; that being easy is the same thing as communicating "that this is her one chance to get with you." However, your criticism is flawed in that you have misunderstood what Chase means by "easy". He is using the term "easy" to refer to the problem of being too attainable, while you seem to have interpreted it as also having the meanings of moving slowly and not aggressively pursuing what you want or conveying sexual intent; that being easy is the only way of showing interest.
ReplyDeleteI suspect you understand that this is not what Chase is saying, yet, as you are criticizing his work and likely wanted to do a good job, you didn't want to just say positive things about it, yet, perhaps unable to find anything specific to criticize, you have instead nitpickingly constructed a strawman to disagree with.
Instead of calling this post a "Review", it might be more accurate to refer to it as an excuse to expouse your own personal opinions independent from the text you claim to be reviewing, a text upon which you project a strawman "rule" roughly implied as being "In all circumstances don't pursue women as aggressively as Aaron Sleazy sometimes does."
The spark for me writing this comment was when I read: "in the right context you can never be too easy if you want to get laid quickly." On the surface it may look like you are disagreeing with something here, but by adding the words "in the right context" you render the criticism meaningless. What you're basically saying is that sometimes being extremely easy can get you laid, which is not a criticism of what Chase is saying, as it does not invalidate any part of it. This is a red herring.
What it sounds like to me is that you would like to disagree with Chase about the importance of attainability; you seem to believe that Chase overemphasizes attainability as a factor for succesful seduction.
You also claim that Chase "omits special scenarios", but this is based on the strawman "rule" previously mentioned implicitly projected over what is actually said in the section of How to Make Girls Chase that you quote. Your claim is based on your willful misinterpretation of the quote as being a rule instead of a comment on trends that Chase has observed.
When you read a book, it is your job as a reader to first figure out what the author means by what he says; to figure out how he's using his terms, not to obstinately apply your own terminology to what he is saying.
Finally, when you say "You may not agree with every fine detail if you are an experienced seducer..." you are implying that there are points that you disagree with. I would be curious to know what those are.
Do you actually get laid? If she wants it, then you better be "easy" or you stand a good chance of wasting that opportunity. Go out and experience the real world, man, instead of engaging in bizarre semantic analyses.
DeleteYou may be right, perhaps I over-analyzed your review. It doesn't deserve to be taken seriously. I was mistaken. Nonetheless, I stand by what I said.
DeleteP.S. "Do you actually get laid?" = ad hominum. "If she wants it, then you better be "easy" or you stand a good chance of wasting that opportunity" = another strawman. "Go out and experience the real world..." = ad hominum.
I was actually serious when I was asking that question, because lack of success leads to some rather strange assumptions, such as the ones you make. Tell me: how is it helpful if the girl wants it and you keep playing games instead?
DeleteWhere did I say it's helpful to play games when it's time to escalate to sex? A vital element of seduction is knowing where we are going and capitalizing on openings; moving as fast as we can without pushing too hard. That just seems obvious. Perhaps I wasn't clear -- it 'is' quite easy to miscommunicate, especially when we are using words independent of tone, facial expressions, etc. That's why it's so important to come to terms with an author; to do your best to understand how he is using the words he is using. Only then can free ourselves of bigotry and the emotional sway of demagogues. And this is especially important if we are going to criticize a writer's work.
DeleteP.S.
Even if I didn't get laid, I'm 'assuming' the actual reason you're asking me if I do is so you can navigate the conversation towards framing me as less experienced than you (which may be the case but is largely irrelevant, unless, that is, you've decided to take on the role of love doctor and diagnose all my opinions being incorrect simply because I need more sex). I may not eat an apple a day Doctor, but I eat enough fruit to know that the amount of sex a man has is generally not a reliable indicator of the pertinence of their ideas. You need only look at yourself for example.