Sunday, October 30, 2011

Single Guys, your Life is NOT at Risk

Seriously, I have yet to come across anyone who makes more bizarre claims than Vin DiCarlo. Of course, an absolute classic is his "Why Working Out is Killing Your Chances with Women." However, he hasn't been lazy. Some time ago, he claimed that your life is at risk if you are a single guy. So, let's have a look at that marketing email:


WARNING: If you're a single male in an
English-speaking country, you're life
is at risk...

Recent studies on single men show a
higher than normal occurrence of cancer,
depression, heart attacks and other
diseases than at ANY OTHER TIME
in the world's history.

Apart from the creative spelling of "you're life", the lack of sources is obvious. Also, the obvious connection, if this were all true, is to ask why single men nowadays get more depressed than single men in earlier times. Couldn't it just be that people in general get more depressed because of increased stress at work and the recent tendency to not only work overtime but to have no real weekend anymore in some professions thanks to the pervasive use of Blackberries?

Why's this? Well, the scientific results
cite different things: From the things
you eat to your lifestyle choices -
like smoking.

However, I have a completely different
explanation, entirely...


This is hilarious, because it shows how those bullshit artists think: "Geez, here is science or maybe just common sense, but instead I'll just make up some shit!"

I THINK BEING SINGLE IS
KILLING YOU BECAUSE
BEING SINGLE SUCKS...

A critical mind can readily establish that not being single is killing you but your lifestyle choices, so this is completely ridiculous. But let's just have a look why being single sucks:

You wake up every morning, pent up
with sexual energy, because you don't
have a woman around to give you a
good release...

So that's all women in Vin DiCarlo's world are good for? Frankly, if you just want sexual release, then masturbation and/or seeing a hooker will do the trick as well.

Your stress builds up and builds up,
because you have no one to vent to,
and no one to share your life with...

...and single guys all over the world sit in their empty rooms, and cry because no one has ever loved them, nor will there ever be someone who loves them. Give me a break!

Being single in Vin DiCarlo's world apparently meansm "being single, having absolutely zero friends, and being too afraid to whack off". Awesome.

You look at women walking by you
every single day on the street, and
you wonder who they're with...

What?

… and then...

… You tell yourself they'd never be
interested in you. You pile stress on
top of stress on top of misery and
sadness.

And ultimately – you end up with
what I call a "Pain Cocktail" that
fucks up your life and makes it
easier for you to catch diseases.

(Studies show depression practically
kills your immune system off, and makes
it easy to catch diseases from damn
near anyone...)

Wow, what a simple world we all live in! I tell you what, Vin DiCarlo, you are at a much higher risk catching diseases if you fuck around like crazy, so a single guy should be much healthier.


THE GOOD NEWS IS:

It doesn't have to be this way!

Because you can have a wife,
a girlfriend or even a one-night
stand... even if... talking to women
PETRIFIES you, right now.

All it requires is sending Vin DiCarlo some grand and he'll take care of all your problems, especially if one of it is not knowing what to do with all your money.

What follows in his marketing email is just a sales pitch for some inane product. But let's continue a more serious discussion: Vin DiCarlo makes some bold assumption about the misery of single guys, but while there are plenty of single guys (with our without women) who are perfectly happy, so are there many guys in relationships who are -- surprise! -- either happy or unhappy. In fact, I have strong reason to believe that the level of unhappiness that comes from a dysfunctional relationship is far worse than a single guy's "misery".

Of course, I don't deny that you can be happy in a relationship. However, the question of happiness is much more related to how much you like yourself. Anything external, be it the latest smartphone (because an expensive ad campaign tells you that you've got to have one) or a girlfriend (because TV shows etc. tell you that it's not normal to have none). Yet, being single, especially when you are a young guy, is fully accepted in all but the most conservative circles.

3 comments:

  1. Yeah this guys a total crapshoot. Yeah I'm single, but I'm not gonna be the world's bitch like Fag Dicarlo preaches. Fucking piece of human excrement. Imagine the people that actually takes this fucktard's "wisdom" seriously.....

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hope there aren't too many around. Well, I recently heard through the grapevine that conversion rates for those marketing emails are at an all-time low nowadays, and much less than one in thousand.

    ReplyDelete

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