Why the 90/10 Rule is Nonsense

It’s my lucky day because in addition to bashing BradP one more time, I also get to show you why one of the main teachings of the mainstream seduction industry is completely bogus. In one of his recent marketing emails, BradP defines the 90/10 rule as:

90/10 rule means that you are talking 90% of the time and the girl is talking 10% of the time. If that ratio is occurring early on in your approaches you are doing fine.

I am not specifically targeting BradP now, because this “rule” is one of the main dogmas of Mystery who is one of the founding fathers of the seduction industry. Instead of looking for some algorithm, let’s use some good old common sense and answer me this question: How large would the contribution of a girl who is really interested in you be? Probably at least 50%, and if you have spoken to a few girls in your life, then you also know that it’s easily the case that they just won’t stop talking, which means that you could well be restricted to 10% of the time, not the other way round.

But let’s see how a “pick-up guru” like BradP argues why this nonsensical rule is valid:

If she is talking less than 10% of the time, that’s not good cause it’s like you’re lecturing her. But girls tend to not talk at all sometimes, so you have to ask a question or get her to agree with something just to get her to hold up her 10%.

Let me point something out here: if you are speaking 90% of the time, you are already lecturing her, and even if she gets to speak a quarter of the time, you are still completely dominating the conversation, which is not good in this context.

So, why would she shut up and have to be tricked into contributing her “10%” by trying to make her ask questions and the like?

One reason is of course that she is just not interested in you, but because there is no one else to talk to (yet), she let’s you ramble on because she likes getting male attention. That she is merely using the guy and will quickly drop him once a more attractive one is around is of course implied. On the other hand, some girls are genuinely shy, but even in this case they will want to contribute something. Given that the “90/10” rule is associated with “indirect game”, let’s do some math here:

Speaking 90 % of the time means you talking 9 out of 10 minutes. Viewed on an hourly scale, it means that she has only 6 minutes to contribute something. I think this is a travesty, but the “PUA” who is reeling off his scripted stories probably disagrees. Well, it does’t seem to bother him that he barely ever gets laid either.

If you don’t know about this rule, you might sometimes be feeling like you’re not doing well because the girl isn’t talking much. But that’s not the case.

Yes, it is the case! If she isn’t talking much then she is not interested. Is this so difficult to understand?

How do you know if you’re doing well? She’s still standing there listening. If she doesn’t walk away, chances are you’re doing fine. That is a USEFUL assumption, even if it’s not always true, because it will make you project confidence.

One problem emerges, though: How does our little aspiring “pick-up artist” know that the girl isn’t merely just enduring him? Maybe he just doesn’t care about such trifles. The fact that a guy who waffles on and on doesn’t portray confidence doesn’t seem to make him want to shut up either.