Sunday, October 19, 2014

One of the most disrespectful women I ever saw

A while ago I was hanging out with some old friends. We went to a nearby bar, where, eventually, something quite remarkable happened. A woman was walking in with a guy who seemed to be her boyfriend. After they had gotten their drinks, she turned his back to him, so that she was now facing the barkeeper. This made her guy feel uncomfortable, so he positioned himself sideways as well. She was no longer looking at him. At that point, I began to pay closer attention to them.

What happened next was downright bizarre. The guy tried to kiss her, and judging from his position, it must have been uncomfortable for him, both emotionally and physiologically, to do so. She at first leaned in, then moved away, looking sternly at him and wiggling her index finger to indicate that he should behave. He tried kissing her again, and the scene repeated itself. It seemed as if he was being trained like a dog. That was bad enough already. After his third try, she seemingly gave in, but only gave him a peck on his lips. No, PUA morons, this is not an example of the "power of persistence".

At that point, I alerted my buddies to what was going on. I filled them in, to their great bemusement. Well, eventually that dude disappeared. It wasn’t quite clear whether he had gone to the bathroom or left the place altogether, since his girl turned away as he was saying something to her. She was then playing with the straw on her drink, slowly sucking on it, and then flicking her hair. It took about ten seconds before the first guy approached her. Suddenly she was all playful and laughing. It wasn’t clear whether they exchanged digits, but she was acting very warmly towards him. He walked off after about a minute, and she had a big smile on her face.

One of my buddies hit me with his elbow and said, “Mind if I take this one, since you’re out of the game?” Not waiting for me to answer, he got up and walked over to her. Basically the same scene repeated itself. He did the ‘handshake thing’, and what emerged was one of those overly long handshakes, where she was smiling at him and giving him ‘fuck me’ eyes. She told him she was “inconvenienced” right now, but promptly gave him her number. My buddy said he might text her, in case he got bored. He didn't think much of her, given how she was behaving.

Several minutes had passed now, so I thought her guy really had left the place. I didn’t pay attention to her for a while, but the next time I was looking around, a third guy was hitting on her. That chick seemed to have mastered the art of attracting guys by suggestively sucking her straw. The same scene repeated itself. At my table we were quite bemused by this. But suddenly things got very interesting, because her boyfriend came back. Maybe he had to queue in front of the restroom, or he had thought he had grown some balls and decided to come back.

I was quite curious to see what would happen now. What happened was that the chick basically ignored her boyfriend, and kept flirting with the other guy. Her body language was open towards her new suitor, and her back was turned towards the guy she came with. Meanwhile, the other guy was standing close to that chick, so that her boyfriend (?) just stood there like a moron. He then meekly put his hand on her lower back, in fact just his fingertips, to which she didn’t react much. At one point I noticed the other guy introducing himself to that hapless loser. Thankfully, some people do have manners.

She then kept talking to and, seemingly, flirting with the new guy. She couldn’t quite change who she was, though, so at one point she slightly turned away from both of them and ignored them, so that the two dudes felt compelled to make awkward smalltalk. Eventually, she engaged her new suitor again, though. I wasn’t following them actively, but at one point he was gone, and a little bit later, that woman left with her loser-boyfriend, too. He might have felt embarrassed, but he didn’t call her out on her bullshit or anything like that. If anything, he seemed happy that there now was no other guy around to compete with. Sure, he didn't know that she had been flirting with two other guys behind his back, but the last encounter he did fully witness. I was wondering whether that guy had any self-respect.

I then wondered how incredibly pussified a guy had to be to take that kind of bullshit from a woman. That girl was certainly good-looking, but far from top-shelf quality, and she seemed to be in the later years of her prime, too. However, she was craving so much for attention that she dragged her boyfriend to a bar in which mostly dudes hang out, slightly older ones to be a bit more precise, so that she could feel desired again. Why on earth would you want to have anything to do with that chick? It's questionable whether you'd even want to pull her just for a one-night stand.

What could you seriously expect from a woman like that? Sure, you could now say that her boyfriend should “alpha up” and put her in her place, but how much fun is it to reeducate a spoiled child? I view personality as mostly fixed, after a certain age, so no "alpha" in the world will be able to correct the failings of her parents --- given that this happened in Sweden it's quite likely that she was raised by a single mother ---, and the bullcrap she's been exposed to due to growing up in a feminist society. Much smaller signs of disrespect should be reason enough to drop a woman like a hot potato, but some chick who hits on other guys to assert her alleged superiority? Fuck no!


  1. Great observation, I do share the conclusion.

    I know two couples in my social circle, where the poor guys are going through a similar ordeal with their "superior" GF/wife ON AN ALMOST DAILY BASIS. The married guy is even more miserable, since he's also got two children with his disrespectful wife and he's the "fifth wheel" of the family. His wife sort of resented to marry him, since she had had a adventurous fling going on without her BF and soon-to-be-husband even knowing (she's a singer and often out of town for concert performances) . Eventually he found out though, but still beseeched her to marry him. It was a pathetic sight. She finally gave in but mostly due to him earning good money as a high-school-teacher in Southwestern Germany and since he was rather easy to control as a man. The strong disrespect she's been harboring towards him ever since is literally permeating the air, I can feel it when I visit them. I cannot understand why my friend allowed himself to get into such a quagmire and I don't know (and don't want to know), how he privately copes with this situation. He is a good, decent guy, friendly, decent and hard-working. He is also a church musician and somewhat religious, so this might also be an important factor in this equation of his. He is literally living "the happiness of a slave". Maybe he needs this level of servitude and oppression, because he defines himself over it and maybe because he couldn't really cope with the reality of being free from such suffocating oppression…

  2. (continued from previous post)

    … Pondering constellations like these I find myself remembering some lines I had read somewhere years ago (quoting from memory), to which I don't agree 100%, but they still hold some cleansing truth: that what women respect most in a man, is being really good at laying wood. A man can be a scum of a person and a total underachiever in life, but if he is a really good lover and fucker (with a modicum of social skills. though), women (the girl and her female peers) WILL respect him. THEY won't necessary marry him, but they most likely might fuck him and WILL respect him – and it's odd. On the other hand if a man is nice, decent, friendly, inspiring, respected, trustworthy, ethically-enlightened, hard-working, well to do, – you name it –… but doesn't do a woman well, doesn't make her gina tingle, then she WON'T respect him as a man deep down within her soul. She may tolerate him by her side though, because she thinks far too high of her pathologically narcissistic self or since she enjoys ca$hing in on his funds and/or status. But whatever he has accomplished intellectually or otherwise, or whatever great characteristics he might embody, she still WILL ridicule him (covertly or openly) and view him as a schmuck, as a "Weichei" – and despise him. This seems to be natural female behaviour, albeit intensified in areas of strong feminist indoctrination (like Sverige or Tyskland…).

    Grand Dame Esther Vilar once wrote in "The Polygamous Sex" (pag. 173): „To a woman love equals sexual satisfaction and satisfying her sex drive to her means love. Hence she doesn't need to cut back, but can in a clear concience view sex as love, as oppoosed to her husband, who calls it 'just sex'. It goes without saying that she will keep this completely hidden from him: to the outside world she will pretend that for her too love does equal altruism as well."
    („Für eine Frau ist Liebe die Befriedigung des Sextriebes und die Befriedigung des Sextriebes Liebe. Sie muss daher keine Abstriche machen und kann Sex guten Gewissens ‚Liebe’ nennen und nicht, wie ihr Mann das tut, ‚nur Sex‘. Natürlich wird sie das vor ihm geheimhalten: Offiziell ist auch für sie Liebe immer ‚Nächstenliebe‘.“)

    I hate to say so, but ever since I read "The Manipulated Man" years ago, I've been having a hard time finding actual proof AGAINST this thesis of hers. But the truth does set one free… (Sorry for quoting the shitty bible…)

    Once more: awesome, meditative article. And you're awesome too, dude ;)

    1. The more fundamental problem is that virtually nobody dares to speak about the true nature of women. We're told that they are all sweet, innocent angels who couldn't harm anybody and of course would never lie or deceive in order to get some personal advantage. Guys who are successful with women tend to have a much less idealistic view on them. Of course, then there are the frustrated chumps from the manosphere who are pissed at women because they don't get laid, but that's an entirely different topic. Now, relating this to the situation of your friend, one could make the plausible hypothesis that many men are so brainwashed that they refuse to see any faults in the behavior of their women. If she fucks other guys behind their back, it's not because she's a cheap whore, but because he didn't pay enough attention to her. Mainstream media follows the same narrative: husband cheats --- insensitive brute, deserves the harshest punishment imaginable; wife cheats --- husband wasn't satisfying her sexually or was otherwise neglectful. Never do you read that maybe he's fucking other chicks because she gained 20 kilos since he put a ring on her and doesn't want to have sex, or anything like that.

  3. hm, most disrespectful woman I've ever seen?

    probably the one who grabbed me by the throat when I was 6 because I didn't want my mom to leave us alone for the night so she could go out clubbing and living it up. I vividly remember the feeling of her giant disgusting fake nails digging into the sides of my neck.

    yours wouldn't even register as a blip on my radar.

    1. I'm sorry to hear that. However, there is a difference between being abusive and being disrespectful. Women tend to be abusive in the privacy of their homes, but not so much in public.

  4. The Bible, one of the oldest self-help books in the world! ;-)

    Good post and great comments. Looking back, I now realize that I spared myself a lot of headache by staying out of the dating world. I had simply too many poisinious beLIEfs.

    1. I applaud you! Sometimes people ask me how come I look so young for my age. It probably has to do by getting involved with women only relatively late in my life. Research like this has no chance of getting funded, but it may be worth, for society as a whole, to find out the negative effects on men that result from getting involved with women. Almost every guy I know who is married or in a long-term relationship looks like a broken man to me.

  5. That she is disrepectful, yes. That he is not calling her out on her shit (and that he is a pussy), yes.
    What amazes me though is, as you pointed out, this woman's need for validation and her craving attention.
    I mean, sure, I also need validation some time, but I will then prove to myself that I can do something (I used to be a professional cook, so most of the time I will make something to eat which is more complicated). I will produce whatever it is, and then it's ok. I'm good again. Or I'll look back and be proud of myself how I handle certain situations now, compared to 5 years ago.
    But how little self-confidence does the average modern woman have, to always feel the need to be validated? This is also the reason they spend way more time on Facebook and on WhatsApp than guys. They constantly need to feel that they are connected and that their thoughts are heard.
    I just don't get it. And interestingly, the girls (although I have to discount a large number of them for being homosexual - that's just the way it is in this business) who I met in the kitchen were less addicted to this stuff and had their shit together.
    My little conclusion is that those chicks don't have a life. No hobbies (I mean real hobbies like competitive sports, fishing, hiking, chess, cooking, sailing, not "hanging out with friends and watching TV”).

    Still, I am amazed by the lack of female self-confidence, masked by the positive interpretation of public reactions that they get because of their looks only.

    And hey, when they see someone with confidence and self-esteem, they either try to get a piece of the cake ("Oh, look who's my friend..") or they label you as arrogant, since they can't get it.

    Yes gentlemen, it is pathetic. Very pathetic.

    1. That's a fantastic observation, thanks for sharing. Indeed, one of the reasons why online dating is such a waste of time is because women get high on the attention they are getting. Once some guy has fucked them, he is likely to lose interest in her anyway. This reminds me of a 17 year old I used to know. Her mother (single-parent, unsurprisingly), wasn't home, so she invited me over. (Prude Americans, take note that in most of Europe it's legal to bang 16 year-olds.) For some strange reason, she thought she had to show me how many guys are after her, and said I should have a look at her monitor. On there, she had about a dozen chat windows open, on some dating site. I only glimpsed at the screen, but noticed that there seemed to have been quite a few lengthy conversations, in which she was, mostly, sexually teasing those dudes. Within a few moments, she wrote to one guy that he should see her tits because they are much bigger than they look on the pictures on that site, to the other that she's having a male visitor right now but would continue later, the next she asked whether he had masturbated over her already. There are probably more women like this, but as they get older, they seem to get better at hiding their insufferable narcissism. That one was an extreme case, though, I hope.

    2. I just fucked a girl like that...

      She was constantly telling me stories about other guys. At least she was honest because she told me she loves male attention.

      The moment I came, I lost all my interest in her.

      She was so weird, shallow and disrespectful.

  6. Strange! That chick should have a nice slap on her face so that she can fall off her chair. That's what I'll do. :) (But I won't because I haven't had a girlfriend like that biatch).

  7. Hi Aaron!

    It's difficult to assess a situation that hasn't been witnessed. There's no way to justify the girl's attitude but it's logical to assume a prior disagreement on both behavior. Perhaps she discovered him flirting another girl and decided to give him a "lesson". Men and women are not diplomatic but vindictive.

    On the other hand, most regrettable that her indifference, is his submission to her attitude. I would have retired immediately, not by an "alpha male" pride but by simple human dignity. I think that being accepted has nothing to do with gradual upset of our dignity and no one worths the sacrifice of our own esteem (I feel this is what PUAs do: they pretend persuade women when they deep crawl to them).

    BTW, I'm writing from Mexico City and I've been reading you in a while. I find your viewpoint the most mature and realistic about the subject. Greetings!

    1. Of course, even if she wanted to teach him a lesson, he still acted like her bitch boy. As you rightly pointed out, it was his choice to have her continue to treat him like shit.

      How does your experience in Mexico relate to my blog? I got the impression that Latino culture has a clearer conception of masculinity than the Western world. It seems that many of the aspects I point out, that are apparently only held by a minority in the West, are completely in the mainstream your culture.

  8. You're right, there is a marked tendency to exhibit masculinity but... drastic 'traditions' to promote it persist. For example, some parents tend to take their sons to meet with prostitutes when they turn 18. The idea is, supposedly, to know 'how to treat a woman.' The result isn't the development of masculinity but misogyny or fear of the opposite sex, according to a traumatic experience. A markable difference between Western and Latinoamérica.

    Plus, another strategy is subtle but constant denigration of women. The Latino masculinity originates and moves in that line: don't put woman on a pedestal, but pretend to consider your equal although deep look how to always be above it.

    That said, what you express in your blog is very above of what is practiced in México. Very sophisticated, intellect comes in play. I mean, if you travel to México and visit some bars, you would see that we are in the stone age.


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