I've read both your books: Minimal Game and Club Game. You suggest to pick a target market for women and dress yourself to attract them. However, what if you don't have a type of a woman in mind? What if you're attracted to all types?Can you see what the issue here is?
Let's put it differently and use the tried-and-true job market analogy. Let's say you are hiring for a job at BigCorp, and an application by Anonymous comes in. He writes that he has noticed that you are recruiting for several roles, and that he has no particular interests or preferences. Any job would do, no matter the type, salary, or location. How convincing would that be for you?
As I stress over and over, the key to finding above average success in the dating market is to find a niche that works for you. This entails that you manage to stand out from other guys in that niche, and that you are much better tailored to meet the expectations of the kind of woman who frequents that particular environment.
On the other hand, if you are a completely nondescript guy who is "attracted to all types"? Well, chances are that he won't be able to attract any woman at all. First figure out what you want, and afterwards work on a plan to get it. This is true for women as well as for life in general.
What do you think? Let me know in the comments below!
(Also, if you’ve got a comment that is off-topic or only tangentially related to this article, then please post in the most recent Open Thread. Thank you.)
I suppose if he's in a small town his question is kind of valid, but there are still plenty of factors he could control. According to your books' advice, the action to take is to go out with a niche in mind, but he could do a different niche every day.
ReplyDeleteAny guy who says he like all types of women simply hasn't been with any type of woman.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true!! ;)
DeleteI think primary aspect of "picking target market" is not necessarily catering your looks to some subgroup of women you happen to like but rather picking some kind of social activity through which you can meet a lot of women who are open to being approached.
ReplyDeleteIn other words it doesn't matter if you are well-dressed if your only way of meeting women is on the street or in some random mainstream club.
Like a motivation letter would matter when it comes to getting a job. Like the recruiter would be like: "Hey, look, he states his motivations so well, let's hire him!"
ReplyDeleteThey don't care that you have an interest in that or that position. What matters is that you have skills that will be useful to them.
I developed some useful skills that I was already naturally good at, and now I don't even have to send motivation letters, the employers contact me everyday.
Lol at thinking what you write to an employer or what you say at a job interview will make any difference.
"You should have been better dressed" or "You should have written a better motivation letter" are advice for people who are just not good enough, and wouldn't have got the job anyway.
That is one of the most off-topic comments in recent weeks.
DeleteIn bigger companies you first go through an HR filter. At that point people are looking for a reason to not move forward with your application. A poorly written cover letter certainly won't help. Furthermore, you normally tailor your CV to a position as well. With a decent education and some job experience there is normally some range of jobs you qualify for.
Oh, job interviews certainly depend on what you say. Next time, be as courteous to the interviewer than you are here, and see how well you'll fare. Maybe dress like a slob too, so that you can get a better feel for how much your "skills" matter. Or do you honestly think the job market is so tight that there is nobody who could compete with you?
Don't care, I had 5 interviews a week while I was looking for a job, I could basically take my pick. And I did.
DeleteAs I've said, this crap matters only for people who aren't good enough.
If you have a unique set of skills (and I do, even though it's quite specific to my country), they will try to convince you to work for them, not the other way around.
If you have to rely on your smooth talk or an exceptional motivation letter, you're already screwed.
It's not off-topic, I'm just tired of seeing the same BS about what you should and shouldn't do to find a job.
Before I learned what was necessary, of course people wouldn't hesitate to tell me it was my fault: "You're too shy, you shouldn't say this, you shouldn't do that!"
Funny how when you become someone with a rare set of skills, none of this shit matters all of a sudden. It never did actually.
Finding a job is very much like getting women, either you have what it takes (good genetics, height, etc.), or you don't, and if you don't, no matter how you dress it up, you are screwed.
By the way, my motivation wasn't poorly written, far from it, I just sent more or less the same to all companies.
In the end, it didn't matter, still 5 interviews a week. But hey, there must be trick that will increase your success, right?! Yes, that is, become truly valuable.
Compete with me? Yeah the competition was so hard when I got my job, I was the only candidate. Lol if you think you'll beat 498 other applicants for a job because you dress better or write a great motivation letter.
Are you fucking stupid or what? This post wasn't about how to find a job. Besides, if you hire for a position and you have two candidates available who are equally qualified, you certainly pick the one who is more motivated, expect when it's a field where showing motivation is disadvantageous.
DeleteSimilarly, if you are a hot chick and guys chase after you, would you --- ceteris paribus --- give the guy a chance who seems genuinely interested but not desperate or the one who tells you, or communicates in some other way, that he'd fuck absolutely anything? That was the whole point of this post. If you don't grasp this, then I feel sorry for you, but I do hope that your "unique skills" will continue to be of value for you.
I am really baffled that you don't seem to not understand at all that your situation has nothing at all to do with the hand-waving comparison in my post. You would be the guy who specifically targets a niche (= unique skill). Is this now clear to you?
There are no two guys that are equal, the girl will always pick the guy she feels more compatible with.
DeleteIt will have nothing to do with what he "communicates". Getting a girl or not is completely out of your control.
She decides based on genetic compatibility. Like women would be rational about their mating choices.
Dude, you may be her type, but if you are broke because your "unique skills" are no longer in demand and your charming personality fails to line up five interviews in as many days, your chances of finding reproductive success will be severely limited compared to your potential.
DeleteWhile having skills and experience adequate enough for the job is essential, it's not the only thing employers consider when hiring someone. One of the major things employers consider, probably above all else, is whether or not you would fit into the company culture and be an essential addition to the staff. Employers don't want to hire someone who they think will cause friction or just quit on them within a short time period. So, if you're a young male in his 20s applying for a job with a company that consists of mostly old ladies who like to talk about what old ladies like to talk about, or you're an intellectual who likes to read books working in an office full of people who just like to go drink beer and watch/talk about sports all day, chances are you may not get that job regardless of how much skill you have or how well you're able to ace interviews. It is exactly the same way with women - why would a guy who, say, is heavily into history and politics and listens to classical/instrumental music want to date a sorority girl who likes getting shitfaced every weekend and will only listen to Top 40 or hip hop, even if she is your "perfect 10" in appearance? Said guy would probably want to kill himself if he somehow got stuck with such a girl.
Deleteunless she is the only girl or there is a huge difference btw her and other girls value based,
Deletethis guy isnt wrong,it is just he assumes he will operate in
"i am the only guy who has this value". well you might be lucky to find such niche but most are not. most of the time you will be compared to how much you have X versus others.
unless you have x 1st place , y(or combination) that no one else has.
Thanks for the post I appreciate it. I have a few questions regarding my situation.
ReplyDeleteI live in a medium sized town (<50,000) and the nearby bars and clubs are mainstream. However one in particular is a spanish bar/club, which is probably the most polarizing in my town since it caters to latin women.
So in order to fit that niche, I should tailor and dress myself to look like a prominent latino celebrity? E.g. Lionel Messi, William Levy, or Esai Morales?
And to compete in the mainstream bars I should adapt my appearance/fashion to match that environment?
Good question. I would really like to hear Aaron's feedback on this.
DeleteIMO, the idea is to fit in the niche that is congruent with your values, beliefs and interests. It's good to explore niches and see if you genuinely like them. I found out I really like the Latin dance scene, even though I'm not a latino. I just really like the music (especially bachata) and prefer to dance with hot women to bachata music instead of talking, which I hate doing in loud bars/clubs.
I think the mistake a lot of guys make (myself included) is that they tend to want to go to the mainstream bars and clubs just because the hottest women and the highest percentage of hot women go to them, even if most of said women are dumb sorority bitches who like shitty pop music, like to cause drama, and prefer douchebag bro dawgs over sophisticated/intelligent men. Problem is the pickup community holds their bootcamps mainly at these venues and indoctrinates guys to sell out their dignity just to get with those types of girls because 'only then can they be real men who have accomplished something in life'.
Holy shit, MacDragard, I just read your comments and I already love you ! Hahaha.
Delete@MacDragard... Except i've not seen this "highest number of hotties in mainstream clubs" thing. It does have the highest number of girls acting AS IF they're super-hot. They certainly "dress the part", but it is an act alas.
DeleteThey're just as many (probably more) hotties in other venues, and they're easier too since they're not trying to "act a ten".
The highest number of hotties (7.5 and above) that I ever see (per minute of attending) is when I go to the supermarkets and malls, second best is upscale lounges.
However I have an advantage in clubs due to experience. I see through the charade, the ultra-makeup and darkness doesn't fool me into seeing the six as the "nine" she's pretending to be. I see right through it.
Whereas as eighs and nines in malls are there in plain sight, no additional filters.
We've discussed the "sixes trying to act a nine" in clubs before:
http://aaronsleazy.blogspot.com/2016/01/so-whats-strategy-here-pretend-youre.html?showComment=1452311257703#c730033687197381105
@Alek Novy, come to the Tampa/St. Petersburg area of Florida and you'll see exactly what I mean. It might be different in bigger cities like New York, LA or London. Here, the night life is relatively small, and while there used to be a little more diversity in the past, just about every venue that isn't a dive dump or some place where the only clientele is a handful of old people likes to cater to the beer-chugging ESPN douche crowd as well as the Top 40s/hip hop 'I like to get shitfaced every weekend' crowd. The SoHo/Hyde Park area is where the vast majority of the hot girls are in the Tampa area, but like I said - most of them are typical preppies from upper middle-class families.
DeleteSounds like I need to move soon, lol.
Alek, I agree with your analysis of where the hottest girls per average are. So do you propose to hit on girls in supermarkets/malls? I was under the impression that this is frowned upon on this site.
DeleteAlso, what good does it do to see through a 6 acting as a 9, if she really feels like a 9 and behaves towards you accordingly?
@Anynomous Re: Supermarkets frowned upon
DeleteThat's a common missunderstanding, created by PUA shills criticizing Aaron, and also by lack of reading ability.
You can check out th posts "cold approaching is useless" and go through the comments where all of this is very well clarified. Also check out the related RSD-themed post (Aaron recommends it mid discussion, because the discussion on cold approaching continues on that post as well). Basically between the comments of those two posts you'll learn everything you need.
-- To Summarize here for you. Saying something to the cute girl in the supermarket aisle is not "frowned upon".
What's frowned upon is unintelligent indiscriminate shotgun approaching. Like if you say "Ok i'm going to go out today on the street and approach 20 chicks" or "I'll walk into the mall and deliver canned openers to 10 chicks in the supermarket, and 20 in other stores". That doesn't mean you can NEVER meet women on the street in an intelligent way. You can. Refer to those posts for examples and clarifications, cold vs warm vs hot approaching. Indiscriminate vs intelligent approaching etc...
Also, what good does it do to see through a 6 acting as a 9, if she really feels like a 9 and behaves towards you accordingly?
DeleteWhen I said it is an advantage, I did not mean "it helps me bang them more easily". When I say "I can instantly see through sixes acting nines" - it means I don't have to waste my time. I can avoid such a location and choose my locations more wisely.
When a guy still falls for that fakery he can waste his time going to venues full of fake nines. Sometimes spending years trying to get good at getting chicks in such a venue. If he had spent his time identifying better locations he would have a much more productive outcome.
"So do you propose to hit on girls in supermarkets/malls"
DeleteThat's your problem right there. Look at the comments on context specifically. The colder the context, the dumber it is it "hit on" chicks. You can however give them a chance to interact with you and create a bridge to another context.
Might sound like "semantics", but it's really not. It's about being socially intelligent and effective.
Thanks for the responses :)
DeleteDear Aaron, I have trouble envisioning what a guy that stands out positively in a certain scene actually looks like. Maybe this is due to my perfectionist personality. When I go out there are clearly a few guys who dress well according to the scene, but how to outdo them without overdoing it and looking like an idiot?
ReplyDeleteYou often recall how you had a terrific outfit when going out in London and Berlin. Could you maybe post some pictures in the forum or here of guys who are well dresses according to their particular scenes?
I talk about this in both Minimal Game and Club Game in greater detail, so get those books for more information. You don't need to outdo it. Just by properly dressing for your scene you are in the top 25%. If you're in shape, and have a decent hair cut, you're easily in the top 10 %.
Delete@ Anon: This advice may sound to you like "whatever", but it is 250% true. This is the very basic foundation, everything else builds on that. So do follow that advice first. I personally vouch for it.
DeleteDon't be too much of an perfectionist. Life isn't "perfect" after all. The level of "being well dressed" is always relative to your environment, so take that into account as well. And no, "peackocking" will just turn you into "Mystery 2.0" – and that WOULD be ridiculous…