Release: Debunking the Seduction Community

The subscribers to my newsletter heard the news first, and now it is time to announce the info on my blog: "Debunking the Seduction Community" is done.

Download it directly from my website. It's a PDF with 400 KB.

For a short description, check this page.

Key points of this book are:

• Commercial foundations of the seduction industry
• Why game is not the "great equalizer"
• The disastrous role of Neil Strauss' book "The Game"
• Why phone numbers and make outs are red herrings for seduction
• The unfortunate marriage of new age and the pickup scene
• A very simple overview of seduction and how it really works

Enjoy the book, and please let me know what you think! You can post comments on my forum or send me an email.

Debunking the Seduction Community: Final Touches

My ebook "Debunking the Seduction Community" is close to completion. I got the last batch of comments from my editor, and a few minor things have yet to be straightened out. I probably won't have time to finish this book during my US trip, so I'll probably do it on the flight back to Europe next week.

However, to wet your appetite, here is the current design of the cover (which is subject to change):

I plan to release the book before 1 May. Look forward to it!

I feel like posting one of my unreleased "lay reports"

As I was browsing some sites today, I came across this quote by Mystery:

The amateur will hit on a woman right away. We wait 8 minutes.

I chuckled and thought what you can do in eight minutes. One of the projects I want to finish this year is the sequel to Sleazy Stories, and it features plenty of encounters that found their natural completion in less time.

But that's enough mouth-watering since my (free) ebook "Debunking the Seduction Community" is not out yet. It is currently on the desk of my editor and if everything goes as planned, it will be out next week.

Get out while you can

I gave a talk in Chicago last week. The crowd was pretty excited and I met a number of very interesting people. Among the topics we've discussed was the role of pickup and seduction in your life. One guy in the audience commented:

Isn't it somewhat ironic that you are now in a relationship, after acquiring all those skills?

I don't think it is.

There is a time for everything in life. I think it is rather sad to see people age, while their behavior doesn't change. This is especially true for people within the community, no matter whether they ever got the level of success they were dreaming about or not. I also recently read an interesting thread on PUAHate in which the user Jakal makes the following statement regarding Ross Jeffries, one of the pioneers of this industry:

People still buy his stuff, but if any of you see him today, he's a gray haired, washed up stubbled face jew who is just miserable and lonely in his studio Marina Del Ray apartment.   

I think there is nothing more miserable than a fifty or sixty year old player. It's like forty year old guys walking around in sports clothes (a rather common sight in the States). This is excusable for a fourteen year old. Or think of club girls with wrinkled faces, wearing their daughter's clothes. Life either drags us down, or we accept that we have to grow up as we grow older and change or roles accordingly.

While discussing some related ideas in my upcoming ebook, my friend Corley sent me an article by Toecutter, once a prominent poster on mASF. (The article in question was from a private lounge, though.) Here is an excerpt:

Take a reality check at your lives, fellas. Turn off the bullshit for a second, and examine your own relationships with women. How is it going? Is the community fucking you up? If so, QUIT! Like now. Quit the fucking thing. Get on with your life. Because how would you feel if you could fast forward to 10 years later, and it is still the same as today? 10 years fucking fly, man! You will be 10 years older before you know it. Would you be happy to be still chasing tail and getting the same results that you are getting at the moment?

In fact, "chasing tail" is certainly entertaining, but sooner or later there will be the point where it becomes repetitive. I had such an experience less than a year ago when I was out in Berlin at Berghain, once my favorite clubs (but it has completely gone down a cliff). I was seeing three girls simultaneously, and another girl was dancing in front of me, trying to get my attention. As I was about to make a move, I thought to myself, "Why do you even bother with this? All you have to do is pick up the phone if you want to get laid." At this point I realised what could almost be called the idiocy of pickup.

Once the thrill of the chase is gone and you've seen enough and done it all (and I have certainly seen and experienced what most men only know from porn movies), it really becomes boring. Sure, some guys are obsessed with increasing their "lay count" above everything else, but if you play the game this way, you can never "win". Or do you want to feel like Sisyphos?

State

[This is an excerpt from the current draft of my upcoming free ebook "Debunking the Seduction Community".]

In an attempt to differentiate themselves from their competitors, Real Social Dynamics focussed on teaching “natural game.” The pinnacle was to be found in a 20 DVD product with the title “The Blueprint Decoded”. The new magic pill this product taught was called “state”. What exactly state was wasn't entirely clear. Apparently you are in state if you feel good about yourself. Too bad you normally don't feel good about yourself all the time. But don't despair, this is where the Blueprint comes in: if you feel down and don't want to talk to anybody, then you “unstifle” yourself. In London I once bumpted into an RSD acolyte who frequently shouted warcries in a bar (!), claiming that doing so would make him immune from social pressure and put him into state. I shook my head in disbelief.

I am not familiar with any concept ever taught by this industry, but Rob Judge gave me a brief recap and an explanation why in his opinion “state” messes up more guys than anything else:

The "pioneers" of natural game lauded “state” like it's the "secret" to attracting women. However, to put the idea in a guy's head that he needs to “generate” state by talking to bunch of random of people will cripple guys more than it helps. It instills the belief people have to bring your confidence “out” of you, rather than just walking up (like a normal, attractive guy) and getting the girl. Moreover, it forces guys who are naturally introverted to take on a “fake personality” and makes them feel “ashamed” if they don’t want to chat up every random idiot at a bar. For me, I only chose to associate with 2 people when I’m out: 1.) my friends, 2.) hot girls. Fuck state!

I agree that forcing yourself to do something you don't want to do does more harm than good. (This doesn't apply if you have severe social phobias, in which case you are better off seeking professional help.) Related ideas can often be heard, such as “approach x girls a night”, “approach the first girl you see without exception”, or “go out five nights a week.” Rather, just do what you feel like. If you have to force yourself, you are already lost.

The Seven-Hour Rule

[This is an excerpt from the current draft of my upcoming free ebook "Debunking the Seduction Community".]

I've read field reports from guys who had a girl in their bedroom dripping wet, but didn't fuck her because they didn't want to break the 7 hour rule and have "fool's mate". Mystery is by far the worst guru in my opinion.---PUA Comic

I agree that the notion of “fool's mate” and the idea that it takes “7 hours” to have sex with a women are both utterly bizarre. First of all, spending that much time with a woman without having sex will lead to many problems Mystery Method specifically addresses, like so-called “last minute resistance”, i.e. the guy suddenly suprises the girl with the fact that he actually has a dick after firmly placing himself in the friend zone by “building comfort” for hours upon hours.

In fact, you can have sex with women much, much quicker. My personal best is under five minutes, and it was a regular club, not a sex party or in a swinger club. I have had plenty of hook ups in which I got my dick wet in much less than fifteen minutes, and I kept seeing a relatively high percentage of those women. My personal experience, as well as the experiences of every successful guy I know, therefore undermines the notion of “solid game” as opposed to fool's mate. So, if you happen to end up with a girl in front of you that is dripping wet and waiting for you to put it in, you better do so. You don't want to be the guy that turns down sex because he doesn't want to violate a random “rule” some guy from the internet pulled out of his (furry) hat.