Oh, the Controversy!

My recent article Why Cold Approaching is Pretty Much Useless caused quite a stir. On Reddit, I had PUA shills go for my throat, on my blog another shill showed up, trying to convince some of us by changing his story to accommodate our objections. It was a sight to behold.

On PUA Zone, a forum I occasionally check, Keyboard Jockeys and guys who get laid fought it out. I got great support from those who know what pussy feels like, while the others dreamt up bizarre objections (some of which I'll address in a follow-up post). They apparently neither read nor understood my article.
To my great surprise, JWS, with whom I had clashed heads a couple of times on the old mASF forum, asked the nay-sayers some critical questions, too. I was especially pleased to see him point out that there are strong commercial interests tied to the "cold approach" paradigm. After all, if you don't get laid after a workshop, and the gurus tell you you should, what's more obvious than shelling out a couple more grand for more coaching? JWS made an excellent point, and I was glad he had made it. I hadn't considered it because I wanted to abstain from bashing the seduction industry yet again. On the other hand, every time you want to talk common sense, some shills jump on you anyway, so I might as well have addressed it in the first place.

If I am not mistaken, the thread I had started on PUA Zone is now the longest thread in the history of that forum, with something like two dozens of pages of replies. If you have the time, maybe have a look just to see the bizarre arguments people try to make to defend indiscriminate cold approaching. At the very least, though, please read on for the feedback of CharlesDexterWard, who allowed me to reproduce his comment on my blog. (The original comment is here.) Anybody who is not a PUA shill, not a commercial PUA, and not brainwashed, but simply wants to lead a healthy life and get laid will surely agree with what CharlesDexterWard has to say.

I'm so happy I found this thread. Last month I've been going out regularly in order to learn how to cold approach women in clubs, so that I can get my love life under control.

It has made me really, really unhappy.

Before reading this, I was slowly coming to many of the conclusions presented here by Sleazy and JWS.

Why did I decide to go cold approaching in clubs at all? I used to be quite good once upon a time. I was the "silent killer" Franco talked about: I saw women in the midst of everything, and they saw me. Like count Vlad in Bram Stokers movie. I got laid with new women quite frequently, but some of them were social circle, others were online, and some were actually from the clubs I went to.

I felt very powerful and in control of my life at this time. Of course, I failed with some really attractive women, but it didn't bother me that much. The power came from two things:

1) Living an awesome life. My current period of not feeling very awesome has encouraged me to analyze what I was doing with my life. I had passions, that allowed me to feel I was learning and growing. I practiced muay thai, later brasilian jiu-jitsu. I learned difficult songs on the guitar, I sculpted miniatures of ancient warriors and beasts from scratch. I bought a helmet and went riding (maybe I should become gay?)

2) I never ever went out to "cold approach" or "pick up women". I went out to spend time with people I liked, who inspired me. Usually I got entangled in new social circles, or a conversation with a previously unknown attractive woman just started naturally.

Point 2 takes a bit of courage. It requires that one stops trying and lets things take their natural course.

It is also a good idea to practice gartitude for what you have. Many people are clueless, or suffer from diseases.