Tuesday, April 24, 2012

There are Two Enormous Elephants in the Room

Last week was quite busy thanks to literally hundreds of comments on my blog, and most were about the daring notion that cold approaching is a highly inefficient way to meet girls. Eventually, the trolls, PUA shills, and keyboard jockeys disappeared. If you've got some time to kill, it may be interesting to go through the comments because you will not only learn a thing or two about why one of the main ideas of mainstream pickup is nonsensical. You'll also learn about the shady rhetorics their defenders use.

Among the many comments, there are many great statements to be found, made by guys who have found success after turning their back towards mainstream pickup and pursuing a much more plausible and efficient path, such as the one I outline in Minimal Game.

One of the visitors of my blog gave himself the fitting name "fed up with classic dating advice". He left two insightful comments on my article "Why do You Want Pickup to be Difficult!?" He talks about real and imagined limitations, and some basic factors that determine your success with women. It's blunt and honest, but it's the kind of advice that really helps people, unlike the dreck the commercial dating industry churns out. I've waffled on long enough, so here's "fed up with classic dating advice" with his two great blog comments:



To be honest, he's right.


I mean have you read Krauser's blog? The dude roams the street for 8 hours? The dude goes to foreign countries cause else he can't get laid.


There's an enormous elephant in the room that nobody adresses and it's almost always the role that your environment plays. I know a person who's like this as well. He has been with 75 women in his life, yet he's the bigest idiot I've ever met. The majority of these women he encountered when he was travelling abroad (eastern europe, russia). Do you think he has the same succes in his home country? Not a chance! I mean get real dude.....


Think about it. There are so many women in danceclasses. And if you really like to dance, you can go to special dance events. How do you think the girl/guy ratio will play out in that field?


I really can't believe that I led myself get brainwashed by pua and dating advice. That quote from Mark is ridiculous, but I guess he was showing his vulnerability (no pun intended). It's the same with looks, you always hear "all you need to do is work harder", but that is so vague. If you're a bit of a good looking guy (which I am), then you know that women will gladly trade up with you instead of another guy. I've encountered this one a couple of times.


I mean in the game of dating (and life) limitations are very real. For some people these limitations are entirely in their head, but for some it really isn't. 


I wish Mark would explain his premises though. That quote wasn't even taken out of context. The least you could do is explain why you're thinking like that. This could have actually provided usefull information in this discussion.


In reality it's so simple, find out hobbies and interest that are mutual for you and the type of women that you like. Engage in these and go to these events. The process will became way more enjoyable and you'll meet like-minded girls.


I have posted in this thread as well, but I've changed my mind. It's insane, you've never even met these people in real life, yet they have some sort of power over you. 


let's keep dating fun and easy guys! I can't wait till another thread pops up "I have approached 500 women and I had one date". Dear god.... Or the advice that people give to shorter guys "just keep approaching taller women, eventually it will work out". Some shorter guys definetly hook up with taller women, but the exception does not prove the rule. And these are limitations, not limiting beliefs!!!!


I'm really fed up with dating advice. It contains way to much of nurture type of thinking. Not everything is possible for everyone. I think if people could get this into their head, they would actually start enjoying their dating life. 


Here's the second one:


Another enormous elephant that nobody adresses is this idea that everybody can get hot chicks (or the hottest chicks). You know, either you have the looks to get those. And if you don't have the looks, you better be very popular or have a lot of money, fame.


I can understand perfectly why some people only approach women who give them signals. I mean face it, so many guys are borderline depressed due to the constant ammount of rejection that they are facing. Off course when they ask for advice the guru tells them that they are making excuses.


I never encountered this enormous storm of rejection. But I'm starting to belive that if you're average, you better keep it low profile. This may sound cynic, but I see it happenning all the time. Hearing these stories from other guys really makes me realize that I came from a luxury position. 


It's amazing, some guys really have potential and they get good. Others are best served with focusing on other aspects. Become rich, succesfull, that way they can have their picks of the trophy wifes later on.


I mean this has repeated itself over and over in history. 


24 comments:

  1. Aaron, you still haven't defined "cold approach" properly brother.

    I've asked you several times but you've avoided my question:

    A student approaches a girl at his university campus with no prior eye contact or approach invitations and with whom he shares no mutual friends. Is this a cold approach?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Hey, my brother! You still have not answered my question about Justin Wayne and his "tourist game"? Have he ever picked up a hardcore NYC girl?

      Peace

      Delete
    2. Brother, here are just 3 examples of Justin Wayne picking up local NYC girls:

      http://justinwayneblog.com/2011/12/25/the-justin-wayne-podcast-episode-1/

      http://justinwayneblog.com/2011/12/14/younger-women-vs-older-women-which-is-harder/

      http://justinwayneblog.com/2011/11/17/back-to-practicing-day-game-2-numbers-2-lays-not-bad-for-first-practice-day/


      There's more on his lay reports section, check it out:

      http://justinwaynepua.com/category/justin-waynes-lay-reports/

      Delete
    3. ....and not 18 year old girls. A real hardcore NYC "fuck you" attitude girl over 24 to be specific, that NYC is famous for.

      Delete
    4. @Curious Day Gamer
      Why is that specific question so important?
      Because I don't get it.
      In my experience, the best statistical results do I got with:
      - "happening to strike up a conversation" scenario's AND
      - with women that I feel like gave me (subconcious clues often) that she liked me (at first sight).
      But when I'm in a sitution that non of the above happened, lik in your situation. I will occassionally chat up a woman, because I can and have nothing to lose and only (possible but not likely) something to gain. I don't nor wouldn't care if some dating coach said i shouldn't or should do it, because I can and i wiil do what I feel like doing.
      Yet, I wouldn't base my game around it though, because the success rate is to low in my experience

      @AnonymousApr 25, 2012 10:41 AM
      Why does someone need to pick up a "hardcore NYC girl", as proof of having game or whatever?
      Because I don't get it.
      Why would a man want to spend his time on high demanding and difficult acting women. I don't get it. Easy going and there to have fun (lik tourists), I found equals having a good time (and way more fun and good times then with a high demanding/critical woman whom is walking around with a checklist of demands)

      My 50 cents, Scarface

      Delete
    5. Hardcore Chicks Are not Required, only good evidenceApril 25, 2012 at 9:14 PM

      @Anonymous who asked "why would anyone want to pick up a hardcore NYC girl".

      I think you misunderstood the first commenter. He was not saying that on needs to pick up hard targets. I think he was making the point that picking up easy targets is not a special feat.

      That is the whole point Aaron makes. These guys can never prove they can do anything more than an average guy. Picking tourist chicks is easy and it's very good.

      The problem is what Wayne teaches... He doesn't say "go pick up tourist chicks, they're easy and anything will work". He says "hey I have magical lines and techniques I used to pick up these chicks here".

      Delete
  2. Don't you have better things to do than to constantly pester people about their subjective definitions of vague concepts?

    If your method works for you, then agree to disagree and move on.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey, so i just read the previous thread and in the last two weeks, its apparent that i've missed a lot. Moving along, i've read minimal game loved it but your cold approach article has clearly stumped me. I think, and excuse my ignorance if none of your readers agrees with me, but the reason i choose not to accept the premise of your cold approach article is that it immediately eliminates a large segment of your potential dating partners.

    In my opinion, i'm average looking and might be slightly higher because i've been hitting the gym consistently for over 4 years however, i remember a quote (dont know from where) that stated, "your as attractive as the girls you consistently hook up with." While i have hooked up with some attractive girls i definitely understand that there are more attractive girls and if you agree with that quote then that may prove that i'm not as attractive as i think i am, and that thought is extremely scary.

    Forgive the lengthy response, but my question is essentially what do you do when most of your interest are exclude women? I play a lot of competitive sports, i'm still in college, and while i can possibly do coed i'd rather not as i'm quite competitive. While i do go out to house parties frequently (2-3 a week) i feel most people that sided with your assertion seem to have many outlets in which they can potentially meet women? I just wanted to get that off my chest and am i over thinking your article?

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    Replies
    1. You're not over thinking it, you just don't understand it. It's not your fault because Aaron doesn't explain things well for newbies.

      Let me say what Aaron says in more explicit language...

      - if you are walking down the street and see a woman with open, cheerful body language, open her
      - if you're in the supermarket and you think a chick seems to be hovering around you, open her
      - if you're in the checkout and there's a chick in front of you, comment on her groceries
      - if you're in a club and a chick seems to be glancing in your general direction, go open her
      - if you're in a club and a group of chicks are yelling and talking loudly while standing close to your group, chat them up

      I think you get the idea? I only listed 6 out of 100s of warm signals. Unless you are a troll, you should be seeing at least dozens of warm signals from hot chicks on an average day.

      You asked a silly question - "but aren't I missing out on many potential partners by not pestering random women with closed Unfriendly body language?

      My friend...

      - if you look half-decent you should be seeing hundreds of warm signals in a given week by just shopping and going out

      - if you just use up these opportunities, you will have more pussy than you can handle.

      Seriously dude, you can have 5 hot girlfriends by next month if you just use up warm leads... If you had 5 girlfriends you wouldn't be asking this silly question about pestering uninterested girls for the off chance that one of them might e interested.

      So go get those 5 (they're out there and they're literally screaming "come get me")... You just need to open your eyes.

      Delete
    2. Wow, thanks Anonymous. That totally makes sense. Looking back, i can't believe i didn't pick that up. In your definition then game just comes down to picking up on whose into you and then capitalizing on it? If so thats a load of my mind.

      Delete
    3. Izzy yes.

      That's what Aaron calls "minimal game". Buy and read his book.

      Delete
  4. CDG ,Many guys have already explain your question even Sleazy .What is it that you don't understand are you socially retarded ? Or is that you don't know how to read and comprehend what sleazy has explain and some other posters on his blog ?


    You also seem very gullible and delusional on your view on those pick up videos.


    I have an apartment in Arizona is Ocean front you want to buy it Lol ? you will see lots of HB"s

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    Replies
    1. Actually Aaron even point blank answered his question twice, buy he keeps copy pasting it. By all definitions of the word CDG qualifies as a spammer (posting same canned messages endlessly, posting advertisements for a product over and over)

      I know Aaron is against moderation (censorship). But what CDG (Wayne) is doing qualifies as spam.

      Delete
  5. Like someone else stated before on another part of this blog; Yes, if you're on campus and there is this amazing HB who you can't take your eyes off then by all means go over and make conversation with her, just don't be making it a full blown session of going around the whole campus gaming chicks, you'll get a reputation and people will think you are weird...

    and lets be honest, cool guys with good social skills and who take pride in their appearence will never have to run around opening sets. The mere fact he finds this one amazing HB (rarity in his eyes due to abundance) so amazing, he'll probably convey his true personality and express his genuine desires, not all the weird shit PUA's spout out in order to rack up phone numbers (which go nowhere)!


    So its all about spotting overexertions/IOI's or gauging her level of reciprocity, then having balls and acting upon it. Obviously there is gonna be rare exceptions where you will genuinely cold approach a HB, she scans you up and down and conveys immediate interest, theres always room for random occurences like this! But its not consistent, thats why cold approaches are 'mostly' useless.

    I honestly believe that COLD APPROACH enthusiasts are the ones who are getting the least amount of pussy!

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  6. 2012 - Aaron Sleazy brings back the 'IOI'. Claims this is revolutionary and 'anti-PUA'.

    Oh Lord...

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    Replies
    1. Actually it is you Puatards who are always looking for a revolutionary magic pill trick... So even when someone is telling you that there is no magic trick, you misread that and you think he is selling the "no magic trick method".

      Listen buddy, any textbook on mating, any docummentary on mating and any book on flirting explains the process that has been used for human mating.

      Chick gives out warm signal (either to a specific guy or in general to the room)
      Guy approaches, they flirt, they fuck

      One docummentary showed that even when guys do hook up from a cold approach, it turns out the guy was wrong. The chick had been giving warm signals before he even approached her. He just didn't register it consciously.

      Delete
    2. Firstly, Im not exactly a 'Puatard'. If I was, I'm not likely to spend my time reading Sleazy's blog, am I now?

      Secondly, I can't really take any feedback or criticism from someone unable to spell the word 'documentary'. Sorry.

      Lastly, I get the concept of female choice in mating. Anyone who has read Minimal Game should understand it. But lets call a spade a spade - this is the IOI concept, however you dress it up. Im not saying the community invented it, or have any kind of monopoly on it, but it is what it is.

      Sorry if this is a bit blunt, but labelling me a 'puatard' because I dare to disagree tells me you are as intellectually feeble as the 'Puatards' you seem to hate.

      Delete
    3. I think what he meant is that you're being deceptive by claiming that Aaron is passing off IOIs as a revolutionary concept.

      If I teach you that 99% of nutrition is bullshit, and you just need to count calories... Am I claiming to have invented calorie counting? Not really.

      But a lot of the most effective weight-loss systems are 190 pages of telling you why everything in nutrition out there is a scam, and why all you need to do is count your calories, no matter what food they come from.

      Also, there is a difference between warmth signals and IOIs. An IOI as taught by the community means a chick sending you signals specifically. Warmth signals are a lot broader and more frequent and it is about chicks sending general signals of interest to everyone in the room, not just you.

      Delete
  7. I have to agree that cold approaching isn't the end all technique for pickup, like so many make it out to be. Night game is generally 100x easier, with plenty of options on the hotness scale at a good venue. And: "Why would I want to make things difficult for myself?" IS exactly the question you should be asking.

    This elephant man is pretty much just regurgitating typical rationalizations of someone who hasn't had much success though, or thinks his mild success deserves a few extra pats on the back than someone with massive success elsewhere. Rather than battle with my own words I'd like to point you all to where it was said best: http://www.rooshv.com/you-cant-get-laid-in-the-united-states

    Going to a foreign country increases your chances of picking up for one reason: there is a higher concentration of girls worthy of being picked up by you there. So fuck anyone who tells me I have to be in the United States to be considered a "PUA." I'll be happy swinging it in Japan while everyone else grovels for the scraps at the bottom of the barrel in the good old USA. After all, why would I want to make things more difficult for myself?

    The thing Gurus typically forget is pickup isn't a contest. You can't win "the game." You can only search for and find what you want in life. You don't have to prove shit to anyone else to do this.

    Cheers, and rock on Sleazy ~
    Fluffy McGee

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    1. Fuck off spammer. You're not as clever as you think you are Puatard.

      Delete
    2. @fluffy

      So you teach English in Japan? Growing up playing video games and hanging on Neogaf, while dreaming of moving to Japan? You are still bottom of the barrel in Japan as you was in the USA. Hunting around at Gas Panic (is it still running).

      Delete
    3. Isn't there even a special word for white men going to Japan to pickup chicks?

      BTW, Fluffy McGee, you SPAMMER, blogspot has no-follow activated, so forget about boosting your SEO rank by posting on here. :P

      Delete
    4. Hey,if you are white or black and from English speaking country,they get laid in Tokyo.Rule

      Non-white women want white guys sperm, they want to have baby from fair skin guy.

      I know the special word for Japanese chicks chasing White men,though.Of course there are word for girls chase black men.

      If you are Asian America, going to Japan never change you.You are handsome and rich, even if you are Asian.You get provider status.

      Delete
  8. In terms of the Krauser's and the Roosh's that travel to get laid. I don't see anything wrong with that if they have the means to do so. Plus Forgein women chicks are hotter then american women. 60% of America is overweight. However does that mean guys who travel have great "game"?. The marketing dicates that they say they do, when anyone whose traveled knows that women in Europe are more friendly then their American counterparts

    When I went to Spain, the hottness of the women and how friendly they were was mind blowing. These hot women all over me. Those same women would not have been all over me in "America". I could have had a blog and said how "tight" my game was. But truth is, my "game" didn't have anything to do with it.

    ReplyDelete

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