Sunday, November 29, 2015

Your girl always has big plans for the two of you

In a recent email exchange, a friend of mine dropped that he was now in a relationship. He doesn’t think it’s serious, but, as he remarked, she seems to be having big plans. I found this amusing, as it points towards a fundamental aspect of the female psyche: She always has big plans.

The previous statement might need some qualification. True, in this day and age, girls are supposed to behave like “alpha males”, go through a few dozen cocks as an expression of their independence, and manage to settle down before they hit the proverbial wall. What girls very quickly learn, though, is that it really is not so easy to get laid by alpha guys all the time, and those tend to quickly move on.
This leads to my experiences with women. I recall once hanging out with a community guy, and he asked me how I managed to keep girls around. I was baffled at first, because it wasn’t my experience at all that it takes much to keep girls around. It's much harder to get rid of them, in fact. I would certainly say that only a very small minority of women genuinely “use” guys for sex. If your one-night stand doesn’t call you back, it normally has two reasons. First, logistics just don’t work out, i.e. she’s only visiting, or has a boyfriend or husband anyway. The existence of Facebook can make this obvious very quickly. For instance, you might end up banging some chick who asked you repeatedly whether you were single --- only to find out later on that she is in a relationship. Cheating on some guy is obviously a lot easier than leaving a safe choice, hoping that the next guy is as reliable (= easy to control) as the previous one. In the end, convenience wins out in those cases.

Second, it may happen that you just weren’t that great in bed and she does not want to experience this again. This does not necessarily mean that you are a bad lover. It takes two to tango, and it can easily happen that her ideas of great sex are the diametrical opposite of your ideas. The exact reasons don't matter that much anyway, as the bottom line simply is that she just didn't feel great about it. Let's just hope she doesn't pull a false rape allegation out of her hat, even though that case might be more likely if she is in a relationship.

If she enjoys herself, though, chances are very high that she starts idealizing you. Probably anybody who ever managed to give a girl a decent orgasm during a one-night stand has experienced that your lover was fantasizing that other women must be chasing after you or that you probably have a lot of women on the side.

You don’t necessarily have to be the world’s greatest lover. It surely helps. However, it seems that very little has to come together to get girls chasing after you. To get a one-night stand you have to have your foundations in order, or you do the PUA thing and just dramatically lower your standards. But for a regular relationship, particularly if the women you interact with claim they are “getting bored of clubbing”, i.e. they notice that really don’t get so much attention anymore when they are going out, they normally aren’t too keen on going back to dating around, and will try to make it work with the guy they currently have. If you witness this as an observer, it provides some unintentional humor. The playbook is as follows: she met a guy who is oh-so-great. Then she was pushing too hard, and freaking him out because she couldn't stop blathering about having kids, with the result that he bolted. At the same time, Prince Charming transformed into your garden variety insensitive asshole.

Women with better social skills, though, escalate relationships more carefully. Knowing that she most likely won't get a buff billionaire, she tries to make a good choice while she is still appealing to some guys. However, she does not have all the time in the world. This leads to an explanation why women break up: because the guy just didn't want to commit. She has to hit the mile stones moving in, marrying, kids, because otherwise she will not only question the viability of the relationship, but also has to get a grip on her insecurities. The limited time horizon leads to older women trying to rush through relationship milestones.

I am tempted to say that any woman who wants children and is not completely brainwashed is perfectly aware that her time is limited. Thus, you can observe that younger women may date around a bit more often, but as they get older, their desperation grows, which means that suddenly they have to make it work with any semi-decent guy. Note that this does not necessarily mean an imagined happy-ever-after, but instead her goals are much more about securing resources. Their time is running out. If she's past 30, she will have really big plans for you. On the other hand, if she's in her 20s, she'll slowly introduce you to her plans --- and if you don't play along, she will dump you for a guy who gets her what she wants.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments below!
(Also, if you’ve got a comment that is off-topic or only tangentially related to this article, then please post in the most recent Open Thread. Thank you.)


  1. Not sure if this fits into this post and I know the actual show is quite stupid and probably staged, but it's interesting how the guy gets actually ridiculed and manipulated

  2. Statement of Unwanted FactNovember 30, 2015 at 10:49 AM

    I can't read a single truth about female nature without it making me think they are just not worth it.

  3. i cannot stop thinking that women are a waste of time. it seems to me that for a man dealing with the topic women is only for validation seeking. is it possible at all to start a "normal", non sexual friendship with a woman or choose women their male friends in the same way they choose their partner?

    1. I think male/female friendships are a myth. She either keeps guys around to exploit them ("orbiters", to use community vocabulary), or she uses you as a backup in case she wants or needs to move on from her current partner. That being said, I have been told that this changes once women hit menopause. The other day I had a discussion on that topic with a friend of mine who told me he had a "deep" friendship with a woman, which was absolutely not sexual. She is in her mid-forties. Then again, you may not necessarily want to rule out that she has ulterior motives. Just because the guy isn't sexually interested does not mean that she also is not.

    2. Hey Aaron, I have noticed this too; whenever you see a attractive girl being surrounded and accompanied by male "friends" whether they are sitting down somewhere and talking or walking and there are no other girls nearby WITH THEM, is it safe to assume they are beta orbiters? Are those men being exploited by the girl so that they can have her presence?

      Like I know this girl and she is always talking to these two or one nerdy short guys and she is attractive; these two nerdy short guys are nowhere her looks level on the male spectrum and I found this puzzling at first at a college when I first saw it.

      But then I came to the thought that this attractive girl was merely exploiting and using these two short nerdy guys to do her homework/classwork for her, do things for her, and bring her attention in public because most people will wonder why she is hanging out with them in the first place because of her looks; at least that's how the female mind works.

      Is my assumption correct here?

    3. Yes, you are. That's usually how this works.

    4. Aaron,

      A girl I know recently won 100,000 for college tuition because was seen as an attractive girl by the judges in a contest to make some sort of project on something. I am 98% certain she won because of her looks compared to the other contestants.

      Do you think this girl has looks on her side? Can you tell right off the bat her personality and if she is self-serving and deceptive or not from this video?

    5. She obviously tried telling a very particular story, which may very well have been exaggerated. On a related note, I was once invited to a recruitment event at a highly selected consulting company. There we were told that HR was looking very, very favorably upon candidates who do some kind of volunteering in crisis regions, which arguably prompted a few students to go to Africa for three months to build fountains and whatnot.

    6. Do you think she is attractive and what can you tell about her personality and her just by listening to her talk and her body language? If that is possible....

    7. My impression is that she is a bad actress. You can make your own deductions about people trying to appeal to a selection committee. It's probably justified to call her a brazen careerist.
      She is okay looking. Nothing special at all. Just the fact that she is a girl probably netted her some bonus points, considering that the mainstream tells us that girls are underrepresented in the sciences and need to get special support.

  4. Spot on once again, Sleaze!

    From my own expeditions into female anthropology I can safely say, that "one night stands" in the male sense do not exist at all for women. And there is no pure "sex for sex" exchange for women.
    Certainly this is one reason, why the naive PUA "women-like-in-porn movies"-phantasy is impossible to realize, because women just don't work this way, they're completely differently wired in that regard.

    Just providing women with orgasms and sex itself is almost of no value to women, that's why they don't desire it as a top priority, as opposed to most men. Women ALWAYS want to get somthing out of it FOR THEM, and exclusively for themselves. This male service could assume many different forms: it could be financial advantages ($ecurity), your status within a social sub-group, your emotional attention, making her feel better about herself by boasting her ego and deluded self-image, providing her with another stepping-stone for her hypergamous tendencies or securing a man's exclusive commitment to the realization of her biological programming = her only purpose = her "bigger plan she has for you" (i.e giving birth to children & nurturing them) … here getting emotionally safisfying sex can be a good supporting side-aspect of such a transcation, but it's never her central objective. E. g. women do not need orgasms to get pregnant – and if her cunt is currently dry, some lubrication may help. Since many men have not idea of how to last longer naturally, the sperm-injection deed is likely to be over after some 5 minutes.

    I would say, the only cases, where "no strings attached" ONS can take place are:
    - in the various flavours of prostitution…
    - when the girl has VERY high self-esteem (rare) and other male options ready to get suckered in
    - when the girl has VERY low self-esteem and doesn't even register that she's violating her biological business model (i.e. givoing sex out "for free"). Here female buyer's remorse can be potentially fatal (as Sleazy pointed out above), e.g. resulting in false rape allegations or the likes…

    The bottom line being the following nasty truth: for any man to enter into ANY kind of RL with a (preferrably mentally healthy) woman, which leads to an ONS and/or beyond, he MUST concede to the female biological imperative (her "business plan") to some degree, he has to willingly submit himself to a degree of female control (female beauty & better-than-decent sex is helfpul here). There is no way around this, since the entire human dating protocol is being dictated by the female and by the fears, psychoses and objectives of women – this is gynocentrism at its best.
    But this also means, that a man could only retain his male self-respect & self-worth, if he ultimately disappoints the female expectation of total male conformity to her imperative to some degree (hence the notion of "all men are assholes/cheating bastards" e.g.), i.e. by either not committing to one single woman fully or by committing to several women, but only temporarily etc. …

  5. [pt.2 continued from above]

    On the other hand, I wouldn't go so far (as many hardcore MGTOW maniacs do) and denounce any man, who is in a RL or married to a wife as "beta". If you want a RL with a woman there is no other way, or the woman will press you and/or walk away to seek for better male prospects („the RL isn’t working for me any longer… he was unattentive & neglecting me… I had to leave him“). In that sense the much discussed "alpha"-term relates more to an intelligent and enlightened way of dealing with those control-seeking, harnessing and possibly castrating, destructive aspects of the female psyche.

    Every since I got myself started with a "Sleazy-mindset" I have felt, that male & female sexuality and nature are totally incongruent. They are like cars driving on vastly different lanes (or on biological collision course), whereby the female is the one interested in harnessing male services & productivity for her biologically programmed goals, and with men having to deceive themselves (or allow deception by something like "romantic love") in order to willingly submit themselves into such a process of exploitation which would go against the grain of their male nature and might ultimately lead to male depletion & self-destruction.

    But still, the family of father, mother & child(ren) is (or should be) the core building block of any stable and healthy society. Thus it seems to me that for a succesful heterosexual LTR to take place at all (and today more than ever), both man & the woman need to be aware of the conflicting aspects of their respective psyche & sexuality and be able to consciously control them. I also find that this seems to be much easier for men than for women, because women hate to truly analyze themselves and their female nature, since it is rather shameful to recognize that you've been biologically programmed to be a human parasite and that you simply know no alternative modus operandi. Women feel no guilt and no responsibility for their actions, but it's still shameful to them. Since a woman needs to be developed sexually anyway, a good start for a stable RL would be after totally opening her up sexually & emotionally (=> thus countering her naturally strong whore-aspects) to really open up the dark sides of her female nature to her (often involves female denial and some tears) and having her acknowledge that openly. And then take the LTR to develop her to a more responsible & emotionally sincere human being.

    1. are you landing people on mars man, what else are you going to do with your life other than procreate and leave some progeny?

      you overanalyze. everything in life is a trade off, you get something and you give something up. you want a kid, you need to deal with a woman. you want a job, you need to dress up and kiss some ass. you want that new iphone 7, you need to give up your hard earned money.

      have your fun, stay away from the whores (long-term), don't sacrifice your interests and life vision for a woman's and if you want to have a family, without excuses do it on your own terms.

    2. "I also find that this seems to be much easier for men than for women, because women hate to truly analyze themselves and their female nature, since it is rather shameful to recognize that you've been biologically programmed to be a human parasite and that you simply know no alternative modus operandi. Women feel no guilt and no responsibility for their actions, but it's still shameful to them. Since a woman needs to be developed sexually anyway, a good start for a stable RL would be after totally opening her up sexually & emotionally (=> thus countering her naturally strong whore-aspects) to really open up the dark sides of her female nature to her (often involves female denial and some tears) and having her acknowledge that openly. And then take the LTR to develop her to a more responsible & emotionally sincere human being."

      Are you in effect saying you have to give her amazing sex to stop her being a whore?

      Can you elaborate a bit more on this? Seems you are mixing physical aspects with psychological aspects?

      At which point does the female denial and tears come into it all? At which point it becomes a lecture/lesson and how you "develop her"??

  6. "a good start for a stable RL would be after totally opening her up sexually & emotionally (=> thus countering her naturally strong whore-aspects) to really open up the dark sides of her female nature to her (often involves female denial and some tears)"

    MY interpretation of this is (introduction to) anal sex. Submissiveness and acceptance that I'm the man are the immediate reaction after anal sex. (Temporary though. They tend to forget after a week who is in charge. Repetition is necessary).

    I would be happy if you could elaborate what exactly you mean.

  7. By totally opening her sexually up, I mean getting her body receptive to a whole range of stimulation, orgasms & squirting. Yes, Anal sex and anal orgasms are certainly part of this. As fas as the vagina itself is concerned, you can already work on three main focus points (clit, g spot, deep spot). You can even combine handwork with licking, and thus giving her a clit-, a g-spot and an anal orgasm at the same time, which totally fries almost every woman's brain. I copied this technique from masterfucker Pierre Woodman, from his "x castings". It requires some practice though, since each woman is a bit different in this regard. You have to train to recognize her signals and find your way through each maze, but it's really worth it, I can assure you. Of course, after such intense experiences most woman get really submissive & adventurous at the same time, so great things are possible. Needless to say, that you must be a very sensual, sexual, open-minded & "service oriented" guy. The only downside is, that women will never forget you cuz most men are simply terrible at sex and you just gave her a total life-changer. She will be wanting more and in many cases actively search for you, even if you live in another country. I've had this happen to me & had luck, that those girls weren't possessive and/or mentally fucked up. After such encounters I decided to apply thos "nuclear" techniques only selectively — preferrably with super hot escorts, cuz in some instances it gets my substancial goodies & discounts... ;) So it's really highly recommended!

    1. I've watched some of those Pierre Woodman Videos and dont think there is a special technique. Pierre makes up a lot of stuff and says "its special from china..."

      But i'm open to learn and maybe you can share what you're doing exactly with finger, hand, mouth, etc.
      Where are you from?

  8. Sorry for my typos and occasional distortions (false friends etc.) btw. Ever since I returned from the US, my speaking skills have been incrementally disintegrating. I usually write those comments quickly and without correcting them before posting them, so some inaccuracies will be unavoidable..

  9. Thanks.
    Haven't thought about the escorts. Never been to one. What's the usual policy? You get more time or more service if you fuck her the right way (a massage for free, etc...)?
    Oh yes, good sex has made me have a great time as far as in Columbia. Just had to pay for the ticket. The rest was on her. Everything... food, going out, taxis, you name it...

    Since this is NSFW anyway, correct me if I'm wrong, but deep spot can be reached by anal sex (or a finger up her ass) only. So basically one would have to use both hands in addition to oral sex, right?

    No worries about the typos. I rarely review my posts, too.

    1. Regarding escorts & higher class prostitutes:
      if you are actually a loving man, chances are she will allow for more unpaid time or even forget about the time constraint of your booking altogether. Or you might be getting goodies for free, i. e. BJs w/o condoms for free or deep french kisses or anal sex, which normally she might have denied you, even if you'd offered to pay her. If you become a returning customer then even more so. Maybe she likes you right from the start, maybe during your encounter she feels how much you really like her and that makes her reciprocate. Maybe at the end she's gonna say "You know what, just stay another hour with me, for free". But you're still gonna be the one who's paying. You just get an overall better deal and maybe even some genuine affection, but the male is still the one whose resources are being taken. I've had such "improved deals" occur in about 1/3 of my pay-sex encounters. I can vouch for it but it surely depends on so many individual factors that I cannot say, whether my ratio is high, average or abysmal.

      On the deep spot:
      yes, you can stimulate the deep spot by pressing deeply into the vagina right below the cervix or from the anus and the press upward into the tissue.
      Woodman's casting with "Marya Tight" or with "Lilou" or "Barbara Bella" should shed some light on this. ;)

      The core point I'm trying to make is: most men believe and/or hope, that women are basically there to have a good time and increase mutual happiness, e. g. the "perpetual honeymoon" phantasy. But if one wants a woman to become a "competent sex toy", one has to actually develop her, if she allows for it in the first place.
      But in reality, women too are animals fighting for survival, just as we men are. But women are biologically programmed to give birth to children & seize male productivity in order to nurture their offspring. They are hellbent on getting their fucking "job done" and they demand total male submission to this goal of hers — that is their only true calling in life and they know no other way of doing things. And energy always flows from the male towards the female. This just seems to be the way it is.
      So the tragic of men in a way seems to be that men hope & desire women to be everything, for which women specifically have NOT been created by evolution in the first place.
      And Sleazy's approach in that context for men is simply the most economic, the most honest, self-respecting, time-efficient and fun approach.
      Still, for any RL to take place with a woman, the man HAS to subjugate his male nature to some extend to the female imperative, to his private little matriarchy. There is absolutely no escape from this. Otherwise the female will quickly walk away and/or punish the guy or not even allow for any access to her T'nA in the first place. The female business model is ALWAYS: limited access to pussy vs. control. Sexual satisfaction is just a (nice) side aspect, but in no way essential to the equation.
      I wonder if Nick Savoy knows about this? ;)

  10. What do YOU want? What are YOUR plans That is a better question. Do you want to get laid? Get laid. Do you want to flirt with a lot of girls? Go and flirt? Do you want 4 girlfriends? Go and get them. Women are just characters in the bigger picture of your life, it makes no sense to wonder about what they want. The last line is funny "if you don't commit, she will dump you". it doesn't work exactly like that. Women don't dump men they are attracted to, if she's in love and you refuse to commit, she is FORCED by you to replace you, but it's really YOU dumping her. She is the one experiencing the rejection, while you hold the power. When you realize that you own the frame, women simply adapt to your choices.

    1. Don't be stupid. You can "reframe" this all you want, but at the end of the day she will be looking for a guy she can use to reach her goals. Besides, if you never had any long-term plans for her, you won't exactly be heart-broken once she stops calling you.

    2. and so what? Good for her. What is the practical conclusion of your article?

    3. The practical conclusion for you is to keep your mouth shut when adults have a conversation.


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