Who is doing the choosing?

Some time ago one of my friends sent me a link to an article in the Independent with the title, Why women really do love self-obsessed psychopaths. He probably thought it to be a friendly jab, targeting my personality. I never felt offended when people called me narcissist, so I read the piece with some interest. The key message was the following:

A study has found that men with the "dark triad" of traits – narcissism, thrill- seeking and deceitfulness – are likely to have a larger number of sexual affairs.

This seems quite obvious to me because risk-averse men are surely not "putting themselves out there" and approach girl after girl in the attempt to get laid more often. Too bad, that the headline was misleading. The article presented some scientific research, yet, the headline editor drew some strange conclusions. It's not that women necessarily love those "psychopaths" more than other men, but if those are more active in the pursuit of pussy, then, obviously, they are going to have more success than others who prefer to dwell in mother's basement and hunt down unicorns in World of Warcraft.

So, single men of the world, keep this mind:

The dark triad of traits are the self-obsession of narcissism, the impulsive, thrill-seeking and callous behaviour of psychopaths and the deceitful and exploitative nature of Machiavellianism. "We have some evidence these traits may represent a successful evolutionary strategy," Dr Jonason told New Scientist magazine.

 Some, he says? He should have asked me, because I have plenty.

The New Thing in the Seduction Community: Not Getting Laid and Being Proud of it!?

The user "Angel" on my forum recently made an interesting observation. Personally, I don't pay much attention to the mainstream seduction community, but he made me aware that there was a recent push of "enlightenment", telling people that they don't need to get laid:

Well, the last few months, in my opinion, I seem to notice a 'trend' that 'inner game and enlightenment' replaces the desire for sex. Its like the guru's out there realised that the guys arent getting laid with their programs, so now they are all coming out with programs to 'become a better man' (cleverly masking the fact that their programs dont work). Inner game and self development cannot become an excuse to not approach or sleep with women I feel. It is perfectly possible to evolve as a man AND sleep with women. In Belgium, the new trend towards 'evolving as a man and inner game' is now used as an excuse of not approaching: I know guys who used to approach and fail, but now stopped approaching all together as they read someone's programme of 'not pursuing', so there basically going out and standing there like they did before the comminuty, but now they actually think they are doing something good (I hope I explain this well).

Check my forum for the full thread. You have to register an account if you don't have one yet.

I'm pretty sure I have heard a similar spin from some Real Social Dynamics guys: "It's all inner game, and if your inner game is tight, the girls will just come." It surely helps protecting the ego.

Not approaching and claiming that this would allow you to become a "better" man is a ridiculous idea. It is less ridiculous than "peacocking" though, instead of dressing with style, which is harder than wearing bizarre necklaces.

The thought that you have to "approach" all the time and sleep with as many women as possible is juvenile to me. People join the pickup community for many reasons, and one is to get a stable sex life. However, what many discover is that once they got a couple of women, this desire usually dissipates. If sex is all you want, why not just stick with a girl you find attractive and like for her personality?

A guy that goes out and picks up girl after girl, even in the rare case that he is successful, reminds me of this Greek fellow. When I began to devote a lot of time to seduction, I realised that the usual "take a girl home" route was on some level boring and predictable. Thus, I experimented with introducing chaotic elements. If you do something that is completely out of the ordinary, you never know what kind of reaction you will yield. Ever tried to kiss a girl right off the bat?

As I ticked off goal after goal, I eventually saw myself getting bored with pickup again. At first I thought the pinnacle was bathroom sex. (See my book for highlights of my development as a seducer.)
Then I lost momentum for a few months. Looking for new goals, I came up with the idea of trying to figure out how to pull girls based merely on escalation. Some weeks later I managed to seduce girls completely non-verbally. The second time, the thrill is not as high. Another goal of mine was pulling a girl instantly. I ticked off that one shortly afterwards. Boredom set in again.

Since I was seeing some girls virtually all the time anyway, chasing sex from new women became less motivating. It all felt way too familiar and unexciting. Eventually, I ended up shrugging off nights as banal where I entered a club, made out with one girl instantly, got bored of her, made out with another one instantly as well, took her to the bathroom a bit later, and eventually back home --- and I didn't even bother writing it up because there was nothing new about it.

Some say the chase is more exciting than the consumption, but once the chase is boring, it's time to realign your life. You either set yourself new goals or look for something else. Once you have reached the sex life you wanted, you can lean back, but anybody who is unsuccessful and choses a path of "self-actualisation" as an excuse of honing his skills as a seducer got it backwards. Some time ago there was a huge push to become "social" instead of learning how to get laid. Now it is this nonsense. I wonder what will be the next big thing of the mainstream industry. Maybe teaching guys how to get laid for a change?