Romance is for Losers

A big mistake inexperienced men make is that they believe mainstream dating advice, and then there are of course those who believe the equally nonsensical advice of PUAs. It is not true, as PUAs claim it, that you can get any woman you want if you just used the right technique. However, following mainstream advice by being courteous, and not too pushy, taking girls out on dates, and waiting for at least two weeks before attempting to have sex with her will also guarantee that you won't get much action.

Plenty of girls don't mind if you waste your time or money on them, though. Why time? Well, it equals attention, and a plain average girl would rather have some average guy drooling over her than none. It doesn't mean that she can't wait to rip his clothes off, though. What guys who take girls out on dates don't realize is that there is a much faster route. It's just not necessarily available to them. Based on my experience, I am tempted to say that girls make the decision to have sex with you very quickly --- if they are attracted to you. Then there are guys that just don't do it for them at all. However, there is an unfortunate third category that can be exploited for material gains. This is where dating and diamond rings come in.

I found it quite startling that some girls were openly mocking the guys they were dating when they hung out with me. This also ruined any notion I had of women being kind. One particularly materialist bitch in London viewed some middle-aged guy as nothing but a walking wallet, and thought this was all good fun. Once she even asked what I think he should buy her next. I didn't quite manage to develop a lot of respect for that woman. However, I'm undecided whether that guy deserves pity or ridicule. He only has himself to blame since he should be perfectly aware of the fact that he's not getting anything in return. Still, it struck me that they were willing to fuck me so quickly, while they only dangled a carrot in front of some other guys.

Message from a Reader: The Consistency Trap

Below is a message from a reader: Max describes how he got caught up in PUA, and how he managed to free himself from the negative influence. Please pay particular attention to what he calls the "consistency trap".


Hi there. My name’s Max, and I was into PUA for a few years. Even though I learned through experience that it was unnecessary, it was your site and PUAHate which convinced me that it was really ridiculous. Weirdly though, I found it hard to let go of it. It took me a while to figure out what the issue was. I eventually realized it was something I call the consistency trap.

Basically, you can encounter PUA because you were searching for “solutions” with girls, either because you wanted more or because you feel bad. I was in the second category: at that time, I had been heartbroken by a girl I really liked and didn’t like me back. I felt awful, and discovering the PUA thing was a revelation: if I could just master “social dynamics”, be alpha and a master PUA, I could probably fix that! And moreover, this could enable me to make sure that I would never suffer from that again.

Do you find most women attractive?

In the discussion following Do women really hold all sexual power? an anonymous reader made the following statement:

Most men find most women somehow attractive (not my case, but so I hear).

I questioned this statement, and so did others. However, it is a position plenty of women and men seem to hold. Women think that men would fuck anything that walks and while the guys I personally know all have personal standards, they might still think that others are less discerning. However, it seems to be much closer to the truth that unattractive guys, as well as guys who don't know about their market value, might stick with a relatively plain looking woman. I do hope, though, that they find at least some attraction for them.

Please note that this myth is also used to justify this inane talk about male sexuality being worthless, which was at the core of the article I linked to above.

Vibrators and Blow-Up Dolls

I think it's safe to say that mainstream media systematically ridicule men. Or can you, off the top of your head, tell me about a movie or TV show that portrays a woman as emotionally unstable, unreliable, or incompetent? Those traits are nowadays apparently the sole domain of men. Man-bashing of that kind is so common that you may not even notice it any more.

If you need a reminder, check out this video:

(That guy has created a series of over a dozen videos that collect and discuss depictions of misandry in the media. Check it out if you've got the time.)

An Encouraging Message from a Reader

This was recently posted in the comments section of the post So, how healthy is the PUA Scene? I thought it deserved to be seen by a greater number of people.


I am so happy to have found the idiocy of this scene early on. The straw that broke my back is when I started hanging out with someone who wanted me to be their wing and assured me that he was having epic nights going out and that he had slept with 100+ girls in his life. This idiot had internalized almost every single PUA material out there that he could quote things verbatim. Being that he was my height (5"8) and bald and was getting as many women as he claimed to be getting excited me. I was hopeful at the prospect of hanging out with him and learning and benefiting.

Feminist Power Fantasies

Have you ever been in a situation in which people were expected to make small talk, and you were asked in which historic epoch you would have liked to live in? I think it's an absurd question, but it's one that enjoys some popularity. Especially women seem fond of that kind of daydreaming. However, as soon as people explore this topic, they make one serious mistake: they refer to the elites, the aristocracy.

Don't get me wrong, this kind of comparison is of course perfectly legitimate if you happen to be the Queen of England and ask yourself whether any of your ancestors might have been a happier parasite than you are. However, the vast majority of people aren't quite so lucky. So, the next time a girl asks you a question like that, before blabbering about how fabulous it must have been to have lived in the baroque era, tell her to think about the fate of the common man. Suddenly, this comparison isn't quite so sexy anymore.

Yes, Virginia, of course you would have lived in Versailles!

Do women really hold all sexual power?

There is a lot of bullshit in the mainstream media. I find it especially irritating when clearly subjective opinions are presented in an allegedly objective manner by people who have a hidden agenda. One such example is the claim that women have all the sexual power in the world. Of course they don't. (Hint: it's mutual).

There is a longer backstory behind this post, and it seems worthwhile discussing it openly. I recently took an online course in Behavioral Economics on Coursera. The teacher, Dan Ariely, is knowledgeable and also lovingly flippant at times. For instance, he started every lecture with an inappropriate joke, and plenty of the examples he used might have easily offended some people's sensibilities. As a bonus, there were guest lectures at the end of each week, given by professors teaching in behavioral economics or related disciplines like psychology.

In week 2, though, I saw some giddy woman in front of the camera, telling about her "research". She was making some rather daring statements, such as "women have all the sexual power", "women decide how soon in a relationship sex happens", or, my favorite, "men's sexuality has no worth". Of course, she referred to the mainstream media model of dating, according to which a guy has to wait three weeks before some chick will spread her legs for you. Needless to say, in her little world, this applies to "all women", and we as men are at their complete mercy.

Sex, Porn, and Voluntary Celibacy

In the comments section to my recent post on Google search trends regarding the main figures in the seduction industry there was an interesting debate. A PUA believer (shill?) claimed that because interest in search terms like "picking up girls" was high, the seduction industry must be in great shape. You can probably quickly find out what the problem with this line of reasoning is. If not, then feel free to refer to my response to that comment.

An anonymous commenter chimed in, ridiculing that position by referring to the ever-rising interest in sex and porn to further illustrate the absurdity of that argument. Here's the graph, taken straight from Google Trends. It shows interest in the keywords "sex" and "porn" over time, and look at the success story "porn" has become:

"sex" (red) vs. "porn" (blue)

So, why would you prefer porn over sex? I don't want to read too much into this data, but I couldn't help but think of the rise of the MGTOW community. A relatively prominent position in this scene is to choose voluntarily celibacy, or simply pay for sex, instead of following some made-up social conventions. You know, nonsense like that the wedding ring is supposed to cost the equivalent of half your annual income, or that fat women have a "great personality" and all that jazz.

So, how healthy is the PUA Scene?

It's been a while since I actively looked into the mainstream seduction community online. My perception certainly is that while there are new fads like currently Simple Pickup and Roosh, the main players have been on the way out. The other day I researched traffic patterns via Google, and look what I found:

Neil Strauss

This is celebrated author Neil Strauss, on a slow but steady downward slope. The other players --- no pun intended --- in this business didn't fare quite so well. On the other hand, Neil Strauss is quite prominent due to his other books, which helps him keep his popularity up.

Can you guess what the following graph represents?

Mystery Method

It's public interest in Mystery Method. Mystery represents mainstream (idiotic) PUA game more than anyone, given that he was the most prominent character. Thus, this graph is presumably more indicative of the scene than any other. Note the sudden spike in 2007, followed by a continuous slide.

Up next: Real Social Dynamics.

Guest Post: The Flawed Sociology of Roosh V (by Eagle Eyes)

Since the typicial guys in the manosphere were at some point abysmal with women it wouldn't come as a shock that their knowledge about sex comes mostly from porn. Roosh made a post on his blog about whether American women had looser pussies. Keep this in mind for some of the points I'm going to raise below.

In an earlier post, "Going Abroad Just to Bang 6s? -- Taking down Roosh V",  I pointed out that Roosh only goes after girls who are DTF (which is why there is basically no mention of girls he has slept with using "day game"). In a nutshell, Roosh only hooked up with American girls who were openly DTF the same night and based on THOSE GIRLS makes generalizations of American girls as a WHOLE. If you're still not convinced, read Roosh V's blog post "The morality of game".

He writes:

I know they love fucking, partying, drinking, and playing the game. They feel proud to be successfully emulating their horse-faced television role models, and are as likely to pump and dump me as the other way around...

...and:

After I was done with a girl, I knew it wouldn’t take more than a couple weeks of going out for her to get boned by a new man...

Does this sound like the type of girl you bang? It doesn't to me. But then I already mentioned the girls Roosh goes after. However, Roosh clarifies this for us even further...:

I’ll be the first to admit that many of my bangs back in the States were HATE FUCKS. The masculine attitude and lack of care these women put into their style or hair irritated me, so I made it a point to fuck them and never call again.