Monday, May 14, 2012

How to Find Your Niche

While one of the dogmas of the seduction industry is that you should "cold approach" and pester women wherever you go, a much more sensible approach is to find an environment you feel comfortable in and that allows you to meet women with relative ease. This will also spare you the questionable experience of getting turned down by one woman after another.

Surely, you have made the experience that it's easier to speak to class mates than to some random girl that's carrying heavy shopping backs from the mall to her car. Further, it's much easier to find receptive women if you hang out in a club you genuinely enjoy. So, if you go to mainstream clubs, you're definitely better off if you look like the guys from Jersey Shore. This obviously doesn't mean that you can't get laid if you don't.

In a recent post on my forum, Cani posted a neat guide on how to find a better niche for yourself. If you think that, after taking care of your "foundations", the women around you still ignore you, it's probably worth a read. Here's an excerpt that should be quite inspiring already:

1. Find your warm environments. This will take some research, but should not take long at first. You always want to keep you ear to the ground and be open to new suggestions. It is always best to check them out first before commiting (time,effort or money). It is good to try new things out, but try and find things that you can do often. Dont just do one thing and keep changing and doing lots of different things over a long period. To avoid this, go for things you enjoy doing or comfortable being in that situation or those people. 

Types to look at:
=do classes, sports/dance groups, join hobby groups, uni clubs, check out
=Build a social circle (from work or from the above idea) and do other things together - house parties, outings etc
=Go to niche activities - goth clubs, art lectures, they may be a lot of people there but you have a lot of common interests - goth music, art.
=Places with the same type of crowd of people that you will probably bump in from time to time (ie not a hobby group, more like a niche club or pub quiz)
=Place you frequent a lot of the time, which is not generaic or mainstream, local pub, pub quiz, meetings, gym, shops, student bar, library


  1. Hey, this might be a dumb question, but what are some good places to avoid if you are oriental? And where in the US are people more accepting of orientals?

    1. How big is the city you live in? If your environment is too threatening, then consider moving. In bigger cities, you can easily socialize with people who share your background, which should make things a lot easier for you. In any case, approach this problem from a positive, and not a negative angle, i.e. ask yourself what you can do as opposed to what you can't.

    2. so what if you can't move bc of family reasons? And it stuck in a shit hole small city? Oh add to that it social skills are sucky bc ur life sucks. Just curious.... I mean at least like you did and other puas have are bigger cities. Most of the girls you want to meet aren't in yoga or any other type classes Even when you have 300k+ ppl bc the city sucks. At least if you cold approach you don't have a shot but it social skills might get a tad better bc most girls are at least nice.

      any thoughts on that sleazy? Don't say online either bc that's crap too.

    3. If your family and living in a "shit hole small city" is more important to you than getting laid, then you've made a deliberate choice. I can only recommend you to move to a bigger city, though. This will take care of most of your issues. Also, a city of 300k is large enough. What place are we talking about? I am sure you are just not looking around enough. It's certainly not the case that all the young women get locked up by their parents and can't leave the house.

  2. @Anonymous - I don't know how big your city is, but if it is big enough, I would advise you to stay away from mainstream places and in general, go to places which attract a more international crowd. That and places where you share a common interest with people.


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