Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Why experienced guys can tell when some PUA guru is full of shit

For some this may be a controversial post, since it I’ll quickly enter the realm of the politically incorrect. Without further ado, let me state that women, for the very most part, all act in rather similar ways. Men do, too, in case you’re wondering. There may be some outliers, but you quickly recognise them as such. But because humans are so similar, as long as you stay within one culture, you can deduce behavioral rules.

Thus, any guy who has had sex with a few women, no matter whether he met them through club/bar game or through his social circle, is able to formulate some hypotheses regarding female behaviour. You’ll learn to recognise when they are interested. At this point you’ll also notice when a woman is playing games. There are those who have no sexual interest but want to feed off the attention they are getting, and then there are those who don’t fuck you yet because for some reason they think they have to let you wait.

In short, through experience you’ll learn which (female/male/human) behaviours are common, and which are not. You’ll also learn that getting laid isn’t such a big deal, and doesn’t require any kind of “flashiness”. Now, the reason I thought Mystery Method and all that “old school” game was bullshit was simply because you can obviously get girls without it, so at best “game” was superfluous.

Proponents of “game” make the outlandish claim that you can get laid with hot girls regardless of your looks, money, or popularity. Again, anybody who has interacted with women in real life knows better. There is the often touted “that one guy” we all supposedly know who gets girls because he’s so charismatic or whatnot. Well, that guy doesn’t exist outside PUA marketing materials. Further, the current crop of PUAs with their “natural game” or whatever they want to call it can’t be taken seriously for the same reason: they, again, claim that some “techniques” will get you laid. But they won’t. Guys obsess over red herrings like (fake) phone numbers, but those are all irrelevant.

Have you ever wondered why there are so very few guys in the “seduction community” who actually get laid? Well, now you know. If they have a modicum of experience, they know that typical PUA gurus are full of shit, since their teachings don’t correspond to reality. Clueless men, on the other hand, don’t have those reference experiences that allow them to see through that kind of nonsense. Those who get good, and are able to reflect on what they are doing, normally turn away from the community as well, since they have learnt that “game” isn’t really about techniques, but mostly about fundamentals: looks, money, environment, making a good first impression and capitalising on it.

However, there are also the semi-successful, and the scammers. The first may even have good intentions. However, for them success is so random that they really don't know what they are doing, and they tend to develop some kind of magical thinking, i.e. adherence to certain rituals. Once a Love Systems instructor (is this company still around?) told me about his 10 or so steps he would always do to make sure that he didn't get "last minute resistance". It apparently never occurred to him that countless guys fuck chicks without doing any of these precautions. This leaves the scammers, but about those I've said a few words elsewhere already. In short, they can only prosper when there are enough clueless guys who do not take any action.


  1. The funny thing about "pickup" or "game" is that it often feels "too easy" so to speak when you realize just how basic the verbal aspect of it is.

    I know from personal experiences, I often wondered if basic small talk (what do you do?, what are you into, talking about some relevant to the situation/location, blah blah) would consistently "work" as it was ground breaking to me. Realizing that you don't have to "qualify", throw in a "cold read" or "push pull" is quite refreshing. You ask a girl 3 questions in a row and sure enough she's still talking you. "Attraction" should be destroyed at this point.

    Seduction really misses the boat on "10 game" too. They act like you need to speak a different language and there's all these "advanced moves". You talk to these women and they're either interested and available, or they're not.

  2. The problem with pick up companies like RSD, Lovesystems, ... is that they want to survive and make profits. They give the impression that you're all friends by still talking about the seduction "community" but it's simply business between people claiming they can deliver a good service and men desperate to buy this service.

    Many gurus aren't really into pick up anymore. For example:
    - Wayne Elise (Juggler)
    - Ross Jeffries
    - Deangelo
    - N Strauss
    - the web site which was in 2002 probably the most important web site on seduction with guys like mystery, jeffries, tyler, juggler, Zan, ..., has been sold.
    - ...

    Look at the blog of guys like Sinn, Cameron Teone, ... they wrote their last post probably more than 2 years ago.

    The success rate of guys like Vince Kelvin, Tyler, etc is around 1 fuck every 30 approaches.

    Among the most successful guys still in the pickup industry you can find several psychopaths like Tyler and Julien Blanc (they're from the same company, is it by chance?)

    Julien Blanc in order to create a strong first impression uses something that classical hypnotists have used for many, many years called the shock induction. When you create a shock, the person is out of balance and the next thing you say goes directly into the unconscious mind of that person. Look at this video :
    Therefore there is nothing new. However, when you practice therapeutic hypnosis, the person knows that you're doing hypnosis but utilizing some of these skills outside of a legitime context can lead to totally creepy and unethical stuff. But do psychopaths care about ethic?

    1. hi, i did self hypnosis once and i have to say it kinda worked on me however
      it didnt work good enough for me.

      first the effect was short term few hours
      second it was lame to do the routine over and over
      third my life stayed very similar that lead me to believe that
      life and approach to life in terms of mentality is way too overated.
      sometimes i have those inspirational moments that lasts shortly, they feel amazing
      but life doesnt change much with them because they are too short to be of anyuse.
      so hypnosis works similarly to this , as the retard used shock induction after it passes
      the human being goes back as he was , he doesnt care about the user.
      i was sometimes by accident fell into shock inducers( unplanned ones) so i know.

      thos shock inducers work by breaking your expectations that are formed by habits and your past, since everyone is different specific routine isnt going to work consistenly, unless
      its a mass social norm.

    2. Tyler's approach to lay is nowhere near 1/30. That 1/30 number was provided by him, and he said it only included girls who were still talking to him after 10 minutes.

      His total lay count is 50. His approach count is 30,000. His actual approach to lay ratio is 1:600.

  3. "There are those who have no sexual interest but want to feed off the attention they are getting,"

    I'll have to admit, figuring that out took me much longer than it should have. :-)

  4. I was confused as to what to say to a friend the other day. He's in university now and has consistent access to super hot women.

    Anyhow, he showed me a conversation he had with this girl on facebook and showed me pics of her as well. The girl is 22 I believe and a complete smokeshow. Gorgeous face, great style and borderline PERFECT body.

    The conversation looked normal, but I did suggest he drop the "text game"/"facebook game" and get her out on a date instead.

    However, the real issue is this. My buddy is easily 50 lbs overweight, has back and chest sprouting out of his shirt and dresses sloppy. The realist in me wants to say, "Dude, you know how many options that girl has sexually? You're a sloppy mess. No wonder she doesn't want to meet up".

    Its frustrating because he doesn't seem to "get it". He's always complaining about not getting any tail. In fact, he kept looking through the facebook convo trying to find where he went astray. Is there a way to somehow get through to him without being ignorant?

    1. Why bother? That's less competition for you, if that matters.

  5. I studied game for 15 years because my experience was the opposite of "getting laid isn’t such a big deal". What I've recently discovered is that it's not a big deal...if I go to Asia. There I can date like a normal person and don't have to work very hard.

    But I still can't get any interest whatsoever in America by American-born women, no matter what I do, even though I'm a normal, tall, fit, successful white guy. All the women I've dated (or even been flirted with) in America in the last 15 years are foreign-born, either Asian or Eastern European. I think the lesson is that some men simply do not appeal to American-born women AT ALL, and guys like me should move abroad. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to figure it out.

    1. This is not a bad thing, either. I've been on relationship forums where no matter what a poor guy asking for help does (approaching on FB, in name it), he's deemed a creeper even though these women would love to be given the time of day by ANY guy, period.

      When you come to grips with US women having the highest rate of mental illness around, maybe they're doing things wrong and that's your clue.

  6. Ok I admit it, although Krauser and provide tons of laughter, nothing beats Vince Kelvin. I hadn't even heard of this guy until today. Man this guy is hilarious lol. I've never laughed so hard in my life.

  7. But what about studies that show that a good personality can make you more physically attractive?

    Like here:

    It would mean that with more time and some charisma you really can be percieved as better looking after some chit chat and it would be better to choose the more indirect way to compensate less good looks.

    1. Personality would likely help if your equal competition is a snarky SOB, but you better bring more to the table than hot air. Women don't make a habit of dating down moneywise, you know.

    2. If you dig deeper you'll see this refers to the long-term, i.e long-term mating. Most mainstream authors assume a long-term context (finding a partner), they're not talking about "picking up chicks".

      Assume that whenever reading a mainstream article about "dating". It's about how to find a "partner" to be a caretaker-provider-boyfriend to. It's not about being someone's sex-toy.

      We've already covered this. Personality becomes more of an attraction factor in long-term commited mating vs short-term casual.

      The effect of personality is negligble in the short-term. Whenever you see something like this, always ask "what timeframe are they talking about, and what context".

      If you dig, you'll see anything that shows personality to have an "attraction creating" power, it ALWAYS refers to long-term mating and long-term attraction.

      And even if you approach a chick in the club and use "personality" to create attraction where non-existed, all you've done ONLY created "long-term attraction"... Meaning you have created a desire in her to give you a chance at being a provider. She might accept going on a date with you because of this.

      BUT YOU CAN NOT USE "personality" to create short-term physical lust where none-existed (where she wants to bang you casually). Do you understand the difference?

      Using "personality to create attraction" doesn't mean she'll bang you that night, it just means she's willing to go on a bunch of dates with you to see if you qualify as a provider. That's it.

      It's a false positive. It's easy to conflate things, even educated people do it.

      It also doesn't help that personality DOES get you more casual sex (but through another pathway). Personality CAN and DOES help get more casual sex, but its because it can help make ALREADY lusting women more comfortable with the idea etc...

    3. Nobody talked about hot air. For sure you shouldn't be a deadbeat for a long-term relationship but as long as you have some good income and she's not a gold-digger, everything is fine. I had several relationships where the women had the possibility to choose men with better looks or more money but she choose me. Most people don't decide on calculations when it comes to dating. It's often about who's there at first, make a move and make her feel good.

    4. Reading comprehension challenged Anynomous said: I had several relationships where the women had the possibility to choose men with better looks or more money but she choose me.

      And that right there is the logical fallacy that PUAs capitalize on. They imply you can use things used to get INTO A RELATIONSHIP and apply them to short-term mating. I.E they imply you can compress the long-term mating process into a couple of hours and use it to "hook up"... which there is no evidence of.

      NOBODY HERE DENIES THAT PERSONALITY IS HUGE IN TERMS OF acquiring LONG-TERM PARTNERS... do.... you.... even.... read words and comprehend sentences?

      Are you arguing with strawmen!?!?! Are you arguing with ghosts? WHO HERE HAS EVER SAID that "it's all about looks and money" with relationships??!?!?!?

      ARE YOU ARGUING WITH GHOSTS really? Because nobody here has made that claim you're disputing!?!? Are you arguing with imaginary people!?!?!

  8. "Without further ado, let me state that women, for the very most part, all act in rather similar ways."

    This is a really nice observation, Aaron! One shouldn't simply assume, though, that all women are the same. It is just that there aren't that many ways how someone can behave in a given situation. Psychologists speak sometimes of that as the 'behavioural repertoire' of a person. This term comes from the school of 'psychological behaviorism' (

  9. Great points Aaron,

    I think guys really need to understand that your sexual market value is by far the most important thing in terms of getting women, I don't know how this is even still debated any more. Your game is important as well but without meeting her SMV threshold it is not going to happen. Your SMV is your product and your game is your salesmanship.

    As a career salesman I can tell you guys that sales gurus tell the same lies as pua gurus, that you can close any deal any time if you only phrase things the right way and manage objections. This is bullshit, you cannot make good money selling a shitty product just like you can't bang lots of hot girls if you have low sexual market value. Your game is just the means to obtain and retain women within your league but its your SMV that determines your league.

  10. Hello Aaron Sleazy, i have reading your blogg in the last 3 years so this is my moment and i havent written any comments :p but i noticed that you speak the hard truth in this competing, insecure, cruel world. And i read a comment that you read arthur schopenhauer. Read one of his essay about women! (Brilliant and funny but a little pessimistic guy tho) but i just wondered if you could write a blogg about books that you could recommend! :D i hope you could respond since your a busy guy. Thank you.

    1. Thanks for the comment. Check out my forum, where you'll find several threads with book recommendations.

  11. Hello.

    Recently, I was at a local mall shopping with friends, and these 3 obnoxious, self absorbed "gifts from God" type of guys approached us.

    They all immediately converged on us as if they were sociopaths intent on abduction. I happened to recognize the one that chose me as his target (you have written about him here). The thing is, they ALL did exactly the SAME THINGS, almost word for word. When I told the guy to fuck off, he seriously had a damned TEMPER TANTRUM!

    My friend taped about 85% of this incident. And I have to tell you, they have no "game" whatsoever. He told me his name, and started insulting me very loudly as I kept walking away ( trying to find security or safe spot).

    No man who professes to be a supposed "Pua" would get so upset, and yell at a 94lb girl intent on verbally harassing her in a public setting.

    If people saw the phone video, I doubt this guy would make any money. I sincerely hope that decent guys aren't being taught to do this to random women like my friends and I.

  12. Aaron, stumbled on your blog.. You're obviously a theoretical expert in this whole "pick up business" but as someone who believes that you can study as much as you like and not get any results , I think from your posts that you lack experience with women.

    You seem to me like an intellectual relying purely on apparent logic. Also you seem to quite negative and have given up on actually attracting women but rather studying attraction in theory and blogging.. Its a business after all and a lot of people are frustrated after doing a lot of theory and not succeeding.. I guess there is a niche market for your style and people are ready to be comforted.

    Will not go into detail, but most of what you say is sends people in the wrong direction. All that is needed is to genuinely not give a fuck, be comfortable and happy with your lifestyle. Everybody must drop this "pick up business" scam, dig deep into the roots of their unhappiness, work for a couple of years on developing emotional intelligence (try reading great philosophical works) and the aim should be:
    Get a definition of life you are happy with, choose the work you enjoy, stop seeking external self validation in stupid achievements that capitalist society ingrained in our brains, get out of the rat race, achieve the feeling of making you life choices and being free etc..

    Once you have solved the real issues of life and why 99% of us are unhappy you will develop natural body language, passion for life, a not give a fuck attitude and all women and men will be attracted to you because you are more advanced than them in the game of life. This will bring you followers; men will want to befriend you and women will to fuck you.. because you can make them better..

    Work on the game of life, read what the great philosophers wrote, the whole pick up thing is just a money making industry.. No logic or pick up artist can beat the attraction a women has to man who genuinely has far less insecurities and a zest for life..

    Except brainwashed college girls in a night club setting..

    1. You must be on a hell of a drug, dude. I'm reasonably confident that I've been with more women than you and all of your friends put together. With regards to 'happiness', I'll happily let you know that people, in real life, frequently ask me how I manage to be so calm and content. But, sure, go ahead and believe whatever you want to believe.


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