Thursday, September 1, 2016

The Open Thread: September 2016

After receiving an increasing number of comments that were only tangentially related to my blog posts, I began posting the (mostly) monthly 'Open Thread'. This has been working very well so far.

In short, if you think anything you're going to write is "off topic" to the current post, but still related to pickup, women, gender politics and other topics I discuss on this blog, then please leave a comment to the most recent Open Thread, such like this one. Just post below.

Thank you.


  1. I saw this one pop up a few times on my Facebook feed today:

    I will agree that it is more important to hold individuals responsible for actions rather than an entire religion of people, but to put your hands over your eyes and ears and scream "LA-LA-LA" when an obviously incompatible culture raised these people to treat women in this way... how can you not draw a line?

    To go so far as to misrepresent your own rape for the sake of peace is the same as people misrepresenting the mass murderer a few miles from me in Orlando. He may not have been a true hired jihadi, but his heart was engulfed with hate of western culture thanks to the culture he had chosen to embrace.

  2. I keep hearing that it's easy and easy to get good-looking girls and women in college and at that tier of age and schooling; I am a U.S reader and I am in it right now, but it doesn't seem to be so. I am really confused by entire forums posts and blog posts stating this, but I just don't seem to see it. What's your take on this?

    1. College is its own bubble. Social status and your rank in the hierarchy plays a prominent role in how you do. This is why skinnyfat frat dudes hook up with girls more frequently than independent kids.

  3. I'm also getting back into "gaming" girls after a several year dry spell and hiatus due to other stuff that was occurring in my life; and I seem to have an subconscious negative attitude that seems to prevent me from actually talking to girls/women.

    Its really frustrating and it's if I am subconsciously pedestalizing women and thinking I am inferior than the women I desire; and that I am not masculine or good enough to get them. It's not intentional but I have had many bad experiences and negative mental programming growing up and it's distorting my perception and ideas of things.

    How do you get rid of these things, and do the stuff you do and figure out and pull off the stuff that you did in books like Sleazy stories? How do guys figure this out and get good at it by themselves? I've seen many average or even ugly looking guys get with hot-to-attractive women in college or in general; which makes this more frustrating. But subconciously I seem to have a horrible low-image of myself and low-esteem, and I am constantly trying to seek validation and approval from other people, especially women, which just makes me more frustrated and inable to get those women....

    I really don't want to do this or pedelestize women, but I can't help my biological urges and the fact that we live in a gynocentric society.
    Of course there have been periods in my life when this wasn't the case, somehow; and I am over 6'0, am not obese, and have been told I am good looking and handsome by many different people; but compared to others I just can't seem to get the direct attention from girls/women that many seem to expect from women, towards someone of that criteria....

    How do you change negative subconcious programming, limiting beliefs, anger, fears, resentment; and not get overly obsessed or worked up about circumstances and situations like this with women?

    1. Its nothing about Game or routines -> Work on your fundamentals! I would recommend you read the free book from Aaron "Debunking the seduction community" and
      1) think about what really counts if you wanna have the success with girls that you wish
      2) ask what ppl who achieved that success have done
      3) then apply it, realize what works for you by looking at the results. And btw.: nothing motivates more than positive results

      Going out alone (what aaron has done in sleazy stories) is something that requires those fundamentals. I have experienced with girls almost the same things by going out by myself, but i can tell you what has lead to those results:
      - Working out a lot and having a lean body, not to shredded, just lean and muscular.
      - Being dressed in a way that makes me a sexual stereotype. I do look buff, so i'm wearing a shirt thats tight around my arms and chest. The rest of my outfit is a nice jeans (slim fit, skinny fit looks weird if the shirt is tight and btw.: always just one thing thats tight, either shirt or jeans) and some nice sneakers.
      - Having my hair done -> I know that outfit would look really stupid on some guys, but due to my body, it works for me.

      Thats it! When i'm in the club i'm not dancing or doing some weird approaches, it just look at the most beautiful girls, see how they react and approach them. From the moment i approach they know that i wanna have sex with them, so the deal is there, its my turn to get the logistics done and get her horny.

    2. Would really like to hear more on this

    3. Here's what I think - If a good-looking guy has confidence issues, I think it's much more difficult for him than it is for an ugly/average-looking guy. The reason being is because as a good-looking guy, people have much higher expectations of you and think that because you're good looking that you absolutely must exhude this massive amount of sexual confidence without even a single shred of insecurity, and if that is not the case then something is very VERY wrong. At least with ugly/average guys, people expect them to have a lot of insecurities, and when they exhude massive confidence, it has a much greater impact.

    4. You're thinking too much in drawers (thats what we call in germany). What is a good looking guy, whats is an average or even an ugly guy? It happens a lot that girls call me good-looking or handsome and it also happens that i'm invisible for girls. Due to my looks, clothes and my appearance, some people threat me a certain way, and some people dont. If I walk through the streets, or sitting in the train, driving car, being in the club,...just being somewhere, that women/girls smile at me, look or even stare at me. That definitively depends on my mood, the girls mood, the weather, what i'm wearing...Overall things, that i have not fully control over.

      But why do I talk about this? Because thats i think the most important factor if you want to get good or get along with girls: Not being dependent on womens or peoples reactions!
      If some girls call you good-looking or some say "you are not my type" what does it for you? Its sometimes good feedback and true, sometimes its just an impulsive reaction because of her bad mood. Never ever take it too personal. Think about it, if it can help you, but dont base your mood on it!

      And your question about expectations people have on good-looking people: I have experienced that most people are busy thinking about themselve and they put you in a box based on your looks, appearance and behavior. Most important in looks is here you're style. Try it out for yourself: How do people threat you in public, restaurant,..if you wear a suit or if you wear tshirt and hat?

    5. So how do you get in this subconscious mindset where you don't really just don't give a fuck about anyone or anything, like so many guys that are successful pull off? How do you change your subconscious, especially if you had a rough childhood and lots of negative experiences growing up; even if you are physically not that bad looking?

      The problem is that I just care too much what other people and others think in general subconsciously, not consciously, and easily get worked up or over-think things to the point of an OCD like manner. And this has been really disastrous for me, and has destroyed my efforts and pulled me down in terms of where I am so far.

  4. Have you actually read any of Aaron's books?

  5. Hey Aaron,I'm sure you've noticed the trend of low-self esteem men settling for women below their potential. In your experience,do you sometimes see women doing the same thing?

    I ask this because I'm a fat guy,but I'm apparently naturally good-looking/has a handsome face,it also helps that I'm tall and know how to dress well. I've had gay men tell me that I would be a killer if I just got into shape(some women I know have made similar comments),I've even had a girl turn into a stalker for me after turning her down,and despite her not being my type,I can tell objectively that she's attractive (other men go crazy/grovel to her like betas. maybe its because I'm one of the few men who don't do that.)

    Despite the qualities I mentioned above,I'm still just a fat guy. and yet I have attractive women who seem to be receptive to me(I've learned how to read signals/possible indicators of interests from women. I'm introverted/loner so when a woman keeps on persisting with making a conversation with me,I can tell that something else is going on). The only explanation I could make is that they themselves may very well have low-self esteem,and willing to settle with a guy below their level so long as he's slightly attractive. what do you think?

  6. What's in your opinion the biggest benefit you get from practising meditation regularly (in case you still do it)?

    1. I'm just about to become more active again online. I'll publish Club Game for Kindle very soon. It's literally the top item on my to-do list now. Afterwards, I'll move on to the meditation book, which has been in an almost complete state for far too long. Note that it won't be published as an "Aaron Sleazy" book, but I will announce it on this blog regardless.

    2. The biggest benefit of meditation are mental clarity and stability.

  7. Hmm, seems like, just as THailand and Amsterdam have a sex tourism industry...Germany can start one too! They can do this at their festivals:

  8. Hear about the bashing between Nick Krauser and "Deepak Wayne", a german-indian guy from Berlin who kind off seem to made a name in Berlin, who's an instructor for Justin Wayne? It's ridiculous. Both sides bash each other for being fake. The whole thing started because Deepak Wayne meant he banged 15 girls (two of them virgins) in 30 days of being in Kiev and made 8 of them his girlfriend. Don't know how deluded someone can be to believe this shit.

    1. "Deepak Wayne" solidly ranks in the bottom 5% of men.

  9. Sleazy, you are certainly a very interesting character. I've been a faithful reader of your blog for quite some time now and i've read every book and a big deal of your forum posts too. If i had to choose a ''guru'', for some reasons your advice seems the most sensible and doesn't make my BS detector go off limits.
    Regarding real life experience, i can definately see that some of your main claims hold true in real life, but i've also started to question some of your other viewpoints. I think you oversimplify things in some areas.

    For example you have a very minimalistic view of this vague thing we call 'game', the userbase of your forum seems to be largely on the Looks/Sexual Availability side as well as you.
    You are one of the largest if not the biggest critics of 'game' and its premises, yet when i read some of your classic posts (which are very ejoyable by the way), this does have some significant overlap with things that are preached within the manosphere/pu community.

    For example this one:

    And this one here:

    Now, the central philosophy of minimal game is: Improve your looks, pick your style, pick your niche, look for interested girls, don't fuck up, fuck, repeat. All sound advice.

    However, it is very clear to me that your 'vibe' and 'state', which is without a doubt largely due to your vast meditational experiences and your 'cocky/alpha/don't give a shit' attitude play a significant role in your success, sometimes even getting girls wet for you. Yet it's preached that it shouldn't matter much.

    On state/viby and your cocky attitude: Isn't this something that for example RSD preaches? This same information can also be found on red pill and several manosphere sites, yet a lot of your content is dedicated to 'debunking' that branch of the internet and exposing the apparent 'lies'.

    Don't get me wrong, there ARE a lot of retards/virgins/incels/psychopats and downright losers te be found on those sites, and it's got a lot of BS on it, but to claim that there's no such thing as 'game' and everything is just some big scammy money making scheme is absurd to me.

    I've seen the effect of looking good first hand, you can't deny that it helps tremendously. Being a good looking guy myself (enviroment-reviewed!) i get attention from chicks regularly and sometimes they even start talking to me first. Yet, sometimes i still horribly fuck it up by being in my head too much and saying stupid shit. You could argue that this is 'bad game'.
    Yet, if no such thing exists, being just able to hold a conversation should do right?

    I feel there's more ways to skin a cat, and definately more ways to get chicks. Claiming that 'game/attitude' can absolutely in no way compensate for a lack of physical attraction is also rather unbelievable.

    Also, how do you explain below average men getting some fine quality pussy? Looks certainly play a role, but so does being 'alpha' in my opinion.

    Bottom line: Some of your stuff keeps it simple, while reading some other stuff makes me believe there's more to it than just looking good and the notion that 'some basic social skills will do'. Could you elaborate? Am i missing something huge?

    1. The claim is not that a "winning personality" won't help, but simply that it is the wrong aspect to focus on as easily 90 % of your success will be due to looks/money/status. The claim that below average dudes get "fine quality pussy" needs some evidence to back it up. I have never seen it. Of course I am aware of a few cases were relatively average guys got very good looking women, but it wasn't because the dudes were average looking but simply due to them being well ahead of the pack in other regards, like a short and not particularly dominant-looking guy who just so happened to be a head surgeon in the largest hospital in the city, or some dude who just so happened to have a net worth of over 20 million Euros and who has women in the business world chasing him hard. Heck, the other day I spoke to a guy who used to work in the Bay Area for a while. Apparently Mark Zuckerberg had groupies. Fancy that! Being worth a few billion dollars gets you pussy even if you look like a dork. Now try that if you are an average dork with absolutely nothing to show for (but with "game" to compensate for it).

    2. And this is where i am tempted to disagree. You say LMS is 90% of the success. Although this number is arbitrary and just serves to make a point, i'd say 10% left for "game" is too low.
      The reason i commented in the first place is because many of your classic posts contain the same stuff that can be found in the sphere.

      'As a man you rule her world'
      'Be a bit of a dick!'
      'Girl impressed by my magnetic approach'

      This could be copied out of any random red pill site, yet it is written by you. This also has nothing to do with looks, but is instead about game/personality.

      Please do not misinterpret me, i am no PUA or RSD fanboy trying to defend my heroes. I'm quite anti-game myself. But in my opinion you make it sound too simple. Can an average guy pull hotties if he has charisma and is relaxed, very mature or very masculine, even if the chick didnt find him particularly attractive in the first place? I'd say that is possible. I've seen this a few times now. The mantra here 'Not 7+ = no chance' is just not very believable for me. My judgment coule be blurry, or it does in fact play a larger role than this site admits.

    3. There is also a similar claim, Aaron; that this generation of girls is the easiest to lay or get sex from or some shit like that. There are comments on ROK saying how it's so easy to get sex from hot girls in this day and age, and it's easier then it was in previous generations. There are guys in their 30's and over, saying that they are going out with 20+ 8' and 9's, because it's easy to get them even as an average guy in this day and age.

      What do you say to that?

    4. Peter,

      please write a book on how "game" is able to compensate for lack of looks/money/status. You'll rake in millions, and poor ugly low-status men all over the world will get to finally fuck top-shelf women.

    5. Peter, I think entire game can be boiled down to sexual escalation. Its simple as that - if you sexually escalate
      then you are perceived as fun badboy. If you don't sexually escalate well then you are entertainer clown at best and boring at worst.

      And sexual escalation aka Game(tm) only triggers attraction if you are attractive to begin with. That doesn't mean you can't get laid if you aren't model hunk. It just means you will have to go through less rejections if you are better looking and chicks will generally behave more nicely towards you.

    6. I have a bit of a different take on this. It might sound like I'm disagreeing with Sleazy... it might even sound like I believe in "game". But read this comment to the end...

      >> I do believe average-looking guys can hook up with a lot of hot chicks. These guys are having casual sex with lots of hot girls. I know, because I know a couple of guys like this in real life. Not just from what PUAs online claim. <<

      At this point, you might be thinking, so Alek then, you disagree with Sleazy?

      Actually no, and here's where the clarification comes in. The specifics matter. Let's take a look at the specifics... I'll use a prototypical guy I know who's representative of such guys.

      A) This "average guy", I'm talking about is a 5 or 6. The "hot girls" he's hooking up with are are 7s and 8s (so average difference of two points.

      B) He's playing the numbers. If he charms (what you call "game" and I call being charming and fun)... About 1 in 30 girls will go to his place to bang. In social circles it might be as low as 1 in 15.

      C) If you're inexperienced and observe him, you will assume he's banging most chicks he talks to. This is the "false positives" aspect of "game" (i.e. being charming and/or fun).

      Girls will smile ear to ear while talking to him, they will playfully hit him etc. From a far you might assume he's taking home each one of them... He's not... Just 1 out of every 30-40 or so...

      If you think this still clashes with what Sleazy is saying, it's not, let me clarify

      When Sleazy says you need status/looks etc to get laid with hot girls. He means to get laid easily & effortlessly.

      Of course girls are sometimes desperate/horny/experimenting... so if you hit on 30-40 chicks, you'll run into one at the right time at the right place. You'll "get lucky".

      Getting lucky doesn't disprove LMS. Show me an average guy who has ANYWHERE NEAR the same SUCCESS RATE with hot girls as a handsome, built, rich, tall guy.

      In this comparison we're of course assuming the tall handsome guy isn't a complete asocial weirdo that creeps people out on hello. At least a basic level of social finesse & charm.

      Wait, but why are you talking about charm and being fun Alek if "game doesn't exist"

      When we say "game doesn't exist as advertised by PUAs"... we don't mean there aren't things that improve succes ratios.

      OF COURSE a higher percentage of chicks will bang you if you do these things. The "scam" of "game" is the idea that it makes "otherwise completely unattracted girls "grow attraction" for you.

      Charm, Charisma, Flirting Ability (game if you must) merely unmasks her pre-existing horniness or attraction. She's just admitting it or acting on it.

      Another way to put is that lack of these things makes girls defensive and unwilling to act. In other words she went out to get laid, she's even willing to bang down (a guy 2-3 points below her)... But if you approach her all boring and weird, she'll reject the offer.

    7. I would seriously doubt the validity of anything on the ROK site. If Roosh is your guru, your learning curve is going to be a lot steeper than everyone else.

      It is easy for some guys to get sex, and some others not so much. It is not like women have changed dramatically in the last year or two. Peter, you are being obtuse. Having some social acuity helps to move interactions forward and if you want to call this "game" sure, it helps. But to even get to this point with a woman, you will need looks, money or status. Women decide on whether or not they will have sex with you in a short period of time, and it is not like you are going to talk your way into being attractive after this screening occurs.

    8. My above comment brings up two very important factors to consider when discussing a method (for anything in any sphere of life, not just getting laid).

      - Distortions and exaggerations in anecdotal reports
      - Ratios

      Like, "you can make a living playing the lottery". That statement is not untrue. It is theoretically possible. But what are the odds, like 1 in a million that you'll do it?

      Same with getting laid. What does it mean when people say "oh you can be a 3 male and bang a supermodel". Well... it is theoretically possible... about the same odds as winning the lottery. Maybe less?

      This is why it is important to get specific... When someone tries to sell you that "with game" you can bang lots of hot chicks... ask them for specifics

      - What do you define as a "hot chick"?
      - At what success ratios?
      - What do you define as "a lot"

      Distortions and exaggerations are a key part of anecdotal reporting...

      - You've got a guy who's a six
      - He bangs chicks who are sevens and eights
      - His success ratio is 1 in 60

      The anecdote gets told by people as "I know this guy who's a five, and he bangs nines all the time". That's your first exaggeration. In real life he only bangs chicks who are 1-2 points difference in looks. In the anecdote he bangs chicks who are 4 points of difference.

      - The hotness of the chicks is overblown, and he's made less attractive than in reality.

      - The success ratio is either not mentioned, or assumed to be higher due to false positives

      Perhaps 90% of the chicks he talks to respond well and flirt back. The anecdote reteller assumes the guy is banging 30-50% of the chicks he talks to (instead of the paltry 2%).

    9. Just adding my own 2 cents here. It is indeed possible for a woman who was initially uninterested to become attracted to you later on. Take a look at this reddit forum:

      However,and I believe it was Alek Novy who got into detail about this,what builds here is "long-term attraction" (or "love"),not short-term attraction,which is what you need in order to get laid quickly and with the least investment on your part. (the whole point of doing pick-up)
      Even in this case,you're still not CREATING attraction. the word "create" implies that you have a large amount of control over the process. the fact of the matter is,you have very little control over it and there's no guarantee,as every guy who has ever spent anytime being "Friendzoned" by the girl of his dreams can attest to. I suppose theoretically,this is what "game" tries achieve,but most PUA's get it wrong. The best way to do this isn't by engaging in "psychological warfare" with the girl(i.e playing jealousy/mind games for weeks or months,a little bit might be ok,but not that much),but by living your own life and handling your fundamentals. Who knows,maybe she'll be attracted to you later on if she's in your social circle,but don't count on it. (I know this is a PUA term,but its called "Abundance Mentality")

      I believe you used to have a blog? (private now)
      I've already seen a lot of Aaron's stuff,but I'm honestly curious about seeing yours considering how much the PUA community hates you,you must have really BBQ'ed their sacred cows/beliefs,haha. If I'm not mistaken,you became successful with women by building a large social circle with many connections and by becoming rich(correct me if I'm wrong though)
      May I ask if you consider yourself a handsome or average-looking guy? I'm just wondering if average-looking or maybe even ugly-looking men can reach your level of success by doing the same things as you.

      Of course,if you truly wish to keep your blog private at this point in time,I understand. I'm just really curious about it.

    10. Just to add on Alek's explanation:
      I'd go so far to estimate that 1 out of 30 women will rate you 7/10 even if you are average 5/10. Not necessarily because she is horny/desperate but simply because the guy is her type.

    11. @Anonymous... That's a good additional factor to mention. I sometimes mention it (along with other factors). The full explanation would be a 90 page book, to include all the clarifications and other factors... including long-term vs short term... interest vs attraction... Variability in grading.

      On this point (variability in ratings). One girl's "five" is another girl's "seven". BUT ALSO girls sometimes have "A TYPE" or a "THING for guys who X"... where for some inexplicable reason she's into something.

      Like how some guys are JUST into redheads. He'd go crazy over a four just because she dyed her hair red. He'd even prefer her over a seven that's brunette.

      Many girls have a similar thing. Some guys are just into X (let's say guys with a certain rare nose shape). She might even go for a guy way below her usual league, because he has that ONE thing she has a "fetish" for.

      This is why science looks at trends, averages etc... Exceptions don't disprove rules, they prove them.

      People selling game are purposefully vague about averages and trends, so they can make you think the exception is an "achievable rule", one you can make a trend by just learning game.

      Look at how Tyler from RSD "expertly mocks" guys asking for data. Apparently it's uncool and nerdish to look at ratios. That makes you a total loser.

      Except... it doesn't. If you were to compare ratios of different methods (vs time, effort and energy investment) you'd know where to invest yourself.

      For example you might found out that taking guitar lessons has a better return-on-investment than RSD workshops. But he doesn't want you learn that...

    12. If I'm not mistaken,you became successful with women by building a large social circle with many connections and by becoming rich(correct me if I'm wrong though)

      Not rich, just financially liberated. Was making about 4-500% what an average careered professional makes. And it was mostly passive income. Just checking a dashboard to see my earnings. So I spent most of my day spending that money on building and buying status.

      I did lose that biz though. Today I work about 4 hours a day to make the same as a person who has a full-time job. Hoping to come back to my earlier financial status.

      May I ask if you consider yourself a handsome or average-looking guy? I'm just wondering if average-looking or maybe even ugly-looking men can reach your level of success by doing the same things as you.

      Most people consider themselves a seven. Which is ironic, since most people should be a five. People don't have a good self-assessment of their looks. So I do consider myself above-average (a seven), but so do most average guys (who are actually a five)... so it doesn't mean much.

      Most girls I've been with have called me hot. But then, most girls call the guy they're dating hot and handsome. Just like they fake orgasms. My female friends call me good looking. But they do that for all good male friends I think.

      When I encounter resistance, girls usually give me the whole, you must be a player and have 5 girlfriends thing. If I ask them why they assume that, they say it is because I'm too handsome to be single... so I must be a player. Then again they could be saying that because of my sexual confidence.

      My lay count is nowhere near that of someone like Aaron. I'm not charming or suave (i'm actually socially repellant naturally, the opposite of charming). I can be and pretend to be all warm and shit, i just find it too much work...

      However my sexual confidence is easily in the top 0.01% of guys. I feel a single drop of sexual attraction, I act... i escalate. I think girls see that confidence and assume I'm always banging 5 chicks at a time. Then if asked "why do you think I got 5 girls", their go-to explanation is "because you're handsome".

    13. "I am aware of a few cases were relatively average guys got very good looking women...¨

      These guys may be average in the looks department, but not in skills/personality! Being a top notch surgeon or businessman requires personality traits that are unmistakably attractive and often masculine. Using Zuckerberg as an illustration: aggression (fucked over people to own FB), intelligence (evident), confidence (he left harvard to devote himself to his start-up for Christ's sake!). In these cases I find the attraction a chicken and egg question: are women attracted because these men display these qualities, or is it simply their wealth/status?

      I would dare to say that pampered rich kids don't make women as horny as equally wealthy self made men, but this is just my intuition speaking. Also, it doesn't matter for men reading this board one bit. These cards have been dealt already and people with a very good hand aren't reading this board.

    14. Hey Alek and Sleazy!

      I came across an interesting post by an olden gentlemen on, and this man is a professional photographer judging from his profile. What I found interesting was his pictures of his "model girlfriend":

      Yes that young girl next to the guy is his girlfriend, from what he is saying on the comments. Now my question is, would you guess that this model girl in the picture, is a gold digger and is only in a relationship with this old plain looking guy because of his position as a professional photographer and because it's an attention whoring gold digging relationship? I found stuff like this intriguing because it's not something you see everyday. Can professional photographers really get hot 8's and 9 models, as guys like this, regardless of looks and money because of their job?

    15. @Sparrow, that question is a good segueway into the next clarification.

      I said this:
      The full explanation would be a 90 page book, to include all the clarifications and other factors... including long-term vs short term... interest vs attraction... Variability in grading.

      - A girl can find you as much as 2 points higher than your average, due to variability in taste.

      - A girl can give you as much as 2 points extra for having X (with x being something she has a fetish for)

      - Niche-specific status can give you as much as 2 points extra

      - General status (wealth for example) can give you 3 points extra

      - The ratio of personality-based vs looks-based attraction shifts in long-term mating. If (random example) her rating of you as a hookup partner is based 90% on looks, and 10% on personality. Then her rating of you for a boyfriend might be as much as 50% based on personality.

      (Personality-based is an oversimplified phrase i'm using to capture every quality that's not static about you, i.e. your actions, what you do for her, around her, for the relationship etc).

      If you luck out on enough of these things that allow her to "go down", you might even date a girl who's 4-5 points above you in looks (objectively, based on how each of you would be rated on average). In her head it might be just 2 points. And she doesn't mind those 2 points coz you make up for it in other ways.

      In the case of this chick, that's probably the combination that's going on. Status is quite a boost. This guy's got wealth (general status), plus he's got specific status in her specific industry? And this is a relationship (she's his, probably taken care off financially and provided for "girlfriend").

      Try to guess how many girls of her calibre he can hook up with, if he cold-approached them in a club and "spit game" at them?

      The important thing again, is these are exceptions

      People selling "game" are trying to use these stories as some sort of evidence you can control attraction. But exceptions disprove rules.

      If you're a five guy who's got a blonde goatee, go hit on a 100 girls who are a seven. You eventually hit on a girl who has a fetish for blonde-haired goatees. That exception proves the rule (that's why it took a 100 attempts to find one). The pua excuse is (it took 99 approaches for my "game" to kick in".

    16. - A girl can find you as much as 2 points higher than your average, due to variability in taste.

      - A girl can give you as much as 2 points extra for having X (with x being something she has a fetish for)

      - Niche-specific status can give you as much as 2 points extra

      - General status (wealth for example) can give you 3 points extra

      And if you're reading this and thinking, wait that's too much. If you combine all of these you get 11 points!?!? So, alek you're saying all guys can just go around and date tens all the time!?!?! Actually, no, it's just to explain freak occurances.

      a) It's a range. You can get AS MUCH AS 2 points extra... that's the maximum you can expect a girl to give you because of one of these exceptions.

      If you're a five on average (when rated by the population)... It is possible some girl somewhere will rate your looks as a seven.

      b) That's the value a quality has on its own, not when combined

      c) If a girl has "a thing" for chest hair, she might rate you as much as 2 points above your "objective" looks (you get a bonus, lol)... but it might be as little as a 0.1 points advantage.

      d) The odds that you happen to both hit a girl's specific fetish AND be her type (AND max out on both exceptions) is pretty slim. So don't think it would be common to get "2 points from this, 2 points from this, oh so I can regularily bang chicks 4 points hotter than me with ease, nice!". And obviously the combined value is smaller. So it's not 2+2...

      These exceptions are just to explain freak occurrences of guys dating "way hotter girls".

      - Note how, except for status (which is a universal booster), the rest are just happenstance and pure luck.

      - If you get status, you can date hotter girls regularly. That is, status is consistent. Let's say you're a five...

      -- You with regular status might luck out and bang 1 out of 60 random hotties (defining hottie as a girl who's 1-2 points higher).

      -- This is because of lucking out...

      --- For example, this is her super-horny-experimentation night and she's willing to bang down. She's a seven, she sees you as a five, but will bang you anyway since no better offer came around. And you seem like you'd be good/ok in bed...

      --- Or you happen to be her type. Even though you're a five objectively, she sees you as a seven. Or you hit some fetish of hers, you just have X that she has a "thing for".

      That's how you get 1 in 60 hotties... you're "lucking out".

      -- NOW... You with status might get to as low as 1 in 15 (in a niche you're famous in).

      - The other qualities (outside of status) just explain how a no-status dude sometimes lucks out and dates a hotter girl. You can't purposefully grow chest-hair and consistently get a better ratio, since you don't know which chicks have that specific fetish.

      Though you can get better at recognizing chicks who are willing to bang down, or are giving you extra points because of "having x" or being her type or whatever.

      With experience you get "subconcious recognition" of girls you have a higher chance with. That's one explanation why PUAs (and experienced guys) do over-time get better girls (or better ratios). They attribute all of it to "improved game", but ignore how much of it is just "better target selection".

      If you forced them to try and lay the first 100 girls they cross paths with, it wouldn't be THAT much higher than when they started. Such a test would prove how much of the improvement comes from target selection, and how much comes from "improved game".

    17. Wait, but Alek, you're admitting game exists!?!?

      With experience you get "subconcious recognition" of girls you have a higher chance with. That's one explanation why PUAs (and experienced guys) do over-time get better girls (or better ratios). They attribute all of it to "improved game", but ignore how much of it is just "better target selection".

      If you forced them to try and lay the first 100 girls they cross paths with, it wouldn't be THAT much higher than when they started. Such a test would prove how much of the improvement comes from target selection, and how much comes from "improved game".

      Answer: Of course flirting ability and social skills improve results. People around here don't fully deny that what you say, how you say it and what you do make a difference. That's why Sleazy's book is called "minimal game". It's not called "your actions don't affect your results whatsover".

      Improving how you do and what you do, does make a difference in your results. Especially if you're going from "freaky, weird and creepy" to "baseline normal seeming and basic charm".

      But it only affects INTEREST, not attraction. It affects how many girls are wanting to act out on their attraction.

      What you say and do (game?) also does affect "long-term attraction", but that's a different topic and irrelevant for short-term mating, i.e. hookups and pickups.

      I personally refuse to call it game, because I associate that term with the absurd notion that you can "create attraction", which is scientifically invalid. It is more accurate to say you can "influence and grow interest". I just call it "flirting and social skills".

      Sleazy went a different route, and called it "minimal game", to distinguish it from the PUA definition of "game".

    18. Alek could you tell more about the way you used your money for signaling status?

    19. So Alek

      In your experience, do fashion photographers who are in close proximity to beautiful women usually and handle their photographs and take their pictures, end up getting them due to the value of the niche they are; from the perspective of the women? Because I came across another quora post of another photographer, having a model girlfriend because he did photos it seems.....

    20. It's just:
      -> ONS: Looks more important to women
      -> Relationsship/Dating: Women care more about personality/status
      If you deal with hot women on daily bases, it will be just a matter of time/ mathematics(numbers game) to get a hot girlfriend. You can be an average guy and get a hot girlfriend, but you'll need to meet 100s to 1000s of hot women to find somebody who is interested. This whole blog is about rising the probability of meeting a girl that likes you.

  10. This link has NSFW:

    Anyhow, it's interesting how this chick/model blabs on and on about her body being a non-sexual object and refuses to be objectified. To the point that she refuses to pose for Playboy.

    Then she poses for Playboy and says that her write-up is not contradicted by her posing for Playboy (in which her write-up is about not posing for Playboy).

    In the end, a hawt chick can say whatever and I don't care - nice boobs is enough for me!

    1. That's amusing. It is also a great example of women (people) making up their own contradictory logic as they go. In some corners people are so deluded that they don't even realize that they don't make any sense. Just skim feminist or leftist writings, which brim with contradictions.

    2. Hi Aaron, I would love to hear your thoughts on this article by Emily Ratajkowski:

    3. Hey Aaron!

      I was browsing reddit the other day, and I happened to have come across an interesting exchange and encounter. This passage is written by a "broke with no money or status" and a "university student", who claimed that got with 8's and 9's in hollywood/LA, in exclusive clubs, because he was tall, was "decent looking" and "Asian". Would you agree that this guy is lying and exaggerating his ass off? Because I have a hard time believing this sort of crap I see on the internet.

      This was between another guy who was questioning a guy's claims about getting with the "hottest girl" in town, and asking him for proof of that on a reddit post.

      "Congrats, you just realized most of the pick up community (including Roosh, redpill, seduction, and most others) is bs with shitty instructors teaching their students how to pick up 6's and fatties who then say they fucked an HB10 when in reality the girl is one fugly mess. Would you like a cookie? /s

      In all seriousness, the reality is, not many Asian guys, or GUYS IN GENERAL, who get into "pick-up" work their ass off to become a high caliber guy in the first place. Regardless of whatever race you are, the only way to get the highest quality of women is to become a high caliber guy yourself. if an Asian guy puts in the work to become a high caliber guy, that guy becomes special and different than the rest just because there are so few out there. Idk if it is due to social conditioning, cultural reasons, familial reasons, etc, but from my own eyes and limited experiences I haven't seen many Asian guys who constantly wanted more which is a driving factor of success in anything. And I'm sure there are some Asian guys out there hooking up with super models. If I, a tall Asian university student who is pretty decent looking (not tooting my own horn but I get that A LOT so putting it in there if it matters) with no money or status, was able to get with hot non-asian girls in LA/Hollywood (not super model level but a few instagram models nonetheless), then there is hope out there for an Asian male role model to appear for our "dating world woes". Until that happens, we just gotta be our own role models and inspire others to never settle and instead go for what they want. People want the validation. People want the a ok to go out and do it. That's where false confidence comes from and true confidence comes from being able to go for it without an example whose similar to you in front of you. Girls in general don't care what race you are (yes even the Asian girls who only date white guys, as shocking as that may sound but after hooking with two Asian girls who have only dated white guys in their entire life, it is def true and can elaborate later on it if people care). They are a lot more open minded than you or most guys in general think they are.

      I really have a hard time believing that a random broke guy with no status, and a university student, who is also Asian; can suddenly get 8's and 9's in clubs in LA and Hollywood considering how shallow and superifical that place is; just because he "stands out"?

      What do you think of this?

    4. And this guy also wrote this, which adds to my disbelief in what guy wrote, to the other guy questioning him:

      Yeah Asians aren't on the minds of most girls here. That's why i always get the "you're the first Asian guy I've ever slept with" line. Your view of women itself is pretty skewed and is the main reason why you yourself probably don't have much success with women in general. And also a lot of people may say there are a lot of hot girls in LA, but the matter of fact is, that pool of hot girls is closed off to a select few, those who have connections to the entertainment industry and those who have money to afford entry into bottle service only venues. Every other venue in LA that is open to the public/plebs have terrible quality in terms of women unless you daygame 24/7 which kinda sucks in all honesty. I happened to know a promoter who was able to get me in places whenever I was in town and that's where I took my best looking girls from until he quit promoting to live in Australia for god knows what reason. And yes, often times I'm the only Asian guy in the entire venue and I fucking stand out to hot girls cause of that. And in these venues, it's your job to not fuck up as once you're in the venue, you're automatically cooler than everyone else who is not in the venue, as you're basically "pre-selected". And yet I still saw white dudes, black dudes, etc go home empty handed from those venues because the girls screened them out and realized they aren't cool. You want to come to LA and see me easily hook 8's and 9's and take them home even with shit logistics, you're more than welcome to. if you really need proof of an Asian guy doing well in pickup/dating so badly, take a look at SquattinCasanova's videos. There are two videos he has with really hot chicks (only two that I can think of off the top of my head... one was a brunette from Canada and another was some Blonde where he vibed with about raves or something I don't remember but you can take a look for them) Those even with face censoring you can tell are at least 8's.

      I have no idea if you're white, asian, or some other guy but I'm going to assume you are asian and you got some mad inner game to work on. All i see and read in your comments is a little boy saying "i want someone to show me that this is possible so I can stop bitching about me being Asian and go after hot white girls". Well in the end, do you honestly believe that way of thinking will get you what you want in life? This ain't the 1960's where the only person Asian's are compared to is Mickey Rooney's terrible depiction in Breakfast at Tiffany's. This is 2016 where people have become more and more open minded in regards to race, nationality, identity, and sexual orientation. Unless you live in some hick red-neck town, you have no right to complain when other Asian guys who were in your place decided to man the fuck up and go after what they wanted. The biggest advice I can give in 'game" and even in life, is stop tying your own personal shortcomings to whatever race you are. If you have never gotten "I've never felt this way towards an Asian guy, never slept with an Asian guy before" then either you have clearly not gone out and approached enough girls to get rid of your limiting beliefs or you haven't done your due diligence in making yourself into someone you yourself can respect and look up to. Society can tell you you suck and you're doomed to be a failure because you're Asian. But if you're Asian and you're a man, why the fuck would you let yourself believe that? You'd obviously take action against that which you're clearly not doing.

      And any Asian brotha out there in need of some tough love and words of wisdom in the western dating game, take a look at this link. Probably the best general guideline out there

    5. I think it just stems from the fact that women want to pose nude because they enjoy the attention but don't want to look like a slut. So they make hypocritical, asinine statements to rationalize their actions.

    6. It's difficult to tell if this guy really is full of it or not. Without seeing him in field and knowing who he is, you can't really make that assumption. The thing about asians is that most of them have a very strict and rigid upbringing, being made to believe that sexuality is bad and your goal in life is to study study study. We know that's not the case with all asians though, and this guy for all we knew could have been fortunate enough to have lost his virginity at age 5 and fucking his sister's friends she brings home throughout his entire childhood, giving him the sexual confidence that most guys lack.

    7. Just looked at this Brazilian (?) chick "Marisa Papen"'s Playboy pics. Honestly, I've banged hotter girlz, both in real life and in high class brothels & escorts. There's nothing particularly noteworthy or intrigueing about her at all. She's just young, healthy and one monthly local playmate more - that's all. And her "philosophical essay" is nothing but a joke. Not only is it a great example of twisted female logic, it also reeks of solipsism and of completely overestimating her overall importance. Kinda reminds me of some news reports a while ago I had read about porn star "Janice Griffith", who after gaining fame and the likes started to publicly complain about men, objectifying her, reducing her to a plain sex object and not paying attention to her character, inner qualities blah, blah... back then such drivel could cause me to laugh, today I just feel slightly buffled and overall bored...

    8. MacDragard

      Do you really think the chances of an ASIAN guy in the West losing his virginity at 5 and fucking his sister's friends is really high, given that Asian males going with attractive other race females are extremely rare, and Asians are at the bottom of the attractiveness scale for males due to the statistics?

      This guy in question subscribed to PUA's like squattingcasanova and DJ Fuji; so given all these factors and characteristics, the chances of this guy pulling 8's and 9's in a place like LA is really incredibly low; and this guy's claims are really unbelievable. If he needed to go into this PUA bullshit, then I don't think that he would have fell under the category of guy type personality that you described.

      I mean have you ever seen a really hot other race girl with an Asian guy in countries like America? Its incredibly rare for an Asian guy to get with a girl of another race, let alone a hot one based from my experience. I mean interracial relationships are pretty much the exception and not the norm right? Especially given that Asian males are the biggest disadvantage compared to other race males in terms dating attractive females of other races......

    9. Sparrow,

      Where are you getting these 'facts & statistics' from? Not all Asian men are short stereotypical math gamer geeks. For the ones that are, being Asian is not very relevant.

    10. Go look up recent studies done even by Ivy league schools and google search up studies done on this. Asian males are at the bottom of the male attractiveness hierarchy. Hot girls of other races do not out with Asian/Mongoloid males because of their appearance and because the current social reality facing them. There are no top caliber hot girls in places like Europe or USA etc that go out with Asians or give them a chance, or even consider them as partners.....

  11. If you look at the article, it really isn't "game" as much as standard advice like dress well, lift weights, and be social and not bitter and angry. The only commenter that sounds credible is the one that says you have to be high calibre to get high calibre woman. The notion that a broke unknown asian student is cleaning up at LA night clubs is about as credible as the stories about the Loch Ness monster.

  12. Hey Aaron are you still working on that meditation book? If so how long until one could potentially get their hands on a copy? Id be interested to see your input in that area.

  13. Hey Aaron. Last year I did a lot of cold approaches on the street. I got some numbers but all of them flaked. Now after a year pause I started again and now suddenly my flake rate is extremly low. I think I can somehow sense if a girl will flake and I often end a conversation smoothly by myself if I'm feeling that the girl is not interested. My flake rate is extremly low. In the last weeks I approached like 30-40 girls got 8 numbers and all of them wrote back. With 3 of them I had dates and I made out with one of them (doesn't want to have sex before marriage). But I'm having a hard time to arrange dates with the other girls, one seems to just want to have an orbiter guy around, so I ended the texting with her (smoothly of course). Do you have any advise on this?

    It seems that there are three filters.
    1. Filter out the girls who don't flake (the ones with minimum interest)
    2. Filter out the girls who don't want to meet you.
    3. Filter out the girls who don't want to have sex with you.
    Just my thoughts.

    I said that I'm doing cold approaches, which means that I go out regulary and approach on average four girls per session. I don't use routines I just say what's on my mind.
    But my problem is that I have to work every day from 7 am to 5 pm. I don't really have many opportunities to meet new girls except when I go out on the streets. I'm doing jiu jitsu but it's impossible to flirt with girls there. When I do shopping then I also try to talk to girls but without regulary going out on the streets I don't think I would meet enough girls, just because in my daily acuvities there aren't many around. I know the eyefucking trick and I missed many opportunities there, but if I'm not purposefully going out (streets or I excuse myself that I need to buy something at a store) I don't meet new girls.

  14. Aaron Sleazy September 5, 2016 at 11:27 PM

    The claim is not that a "winning personality" won't help, but simply that it is the wrong aspect to focus on as easily 90 % of your success will be due to looks/money/status. The claim that below average dudes get "fine quality pussy" needs some evidence to back it up. I have never seen it.

    Aaron: following on Peter Z's comments, let me suggest that perhaps personality can actually compensate but that it is exceedingly rare. Case in point:

    I got over a terrible sexual addiction a few years ago: I had sex with over a thousand women. (source)

    I should mention at this point that in 1970 during the spring semester I was romantically involved with about 88 young women. Some of it had to do with my unorthodox approaches to talking to them and the fact that I was a big man on campus by virtue of being the editor of a notorious weekly college newspaper. That's a post for another day. (source)

    The author of those comments is a 5' 6" average-looking guy (now in his sixties with family and grandchildren) who did not have appreciable wealth at the time. You can see his photo here.

    I have read extensively through his blog and believe he is telling the truth. The key to his level of success, as far as I can tell (partly based on first-hand experience similar to your own), is a kind of charm characterized by a very, very finely tuned sense of humor -- far beyond that of the majority of men, even those who are game-aware. Most PUA/game advice provides at best such a crude approximation to this that the 90% LMS rule you mention holds for nearly all men.

    1. Being the "big man on campus" certainly means "high status" in this context.

  15. Hi again Sleazy.

    Just wanted to make this public comment 'cause I think somehow I own you this.

    I want to stress that although some of my ideas on politics, society and philosophy probably differ a bit from yours, I respect you very, very much sir. Your books and other texts, particularly Minimal Game (which I'd bought many years ago, almost when it was published), have been a great influence on my life. The relationship between men and women is a topic that interests me heavily since I was a teenager, and you, this mysterious and insightful German guy, has helped me so much on how to think and act about it. But not only that: on a gradual basis, I've also found out many interesting relations between your ideas on relationships and different practical and theoretical subjects.

    So, I hope you'll receive this big thank you from me and that someday in the next 5 years or so I may travel to Europe or wherever you are, so I can say it to you personnally. You've got a friend for life.


    1. Thanks for posting this, Patropi! I am glad you found my work useful. Feel free to drop me a line once once you are in Europe. So far, I have always found it quite interesting to hear from long-time followers.

  16. I just found this article (I don't know how old is it)
    It's quite hilarious how he tries to advertise his book, yet at the same time he killed the whole point of buying his product.

    Or is it?

    Well, that's the quid of this whole PUA issue, what keep them alive. Of course that getting girls is simple if you're a normal guy that doesn't overcomplicate his shit. Yet insecure guys like to read too much between lines. After all, if getting girls was that simple, then why are they so lonely? Of course there must be something missing there! Just like that episode of South Park about the Gnomes:
    1.- Stole underpants
    2.- ????
    3.- Profit!

    For those guys, the "normal" method that Aaron, Alek and others advise reads like this:
    1.- Be a cool guy/be attractive
    2.- Ask girls out
    3.- ?????
    4.- Sex

    It gets worse because we all know that, even when all girls like sex, not all girls have the same personalities and not all girls are attracted to the same kind of guys. Yeah, we know it: "find your niche". The problem is, a lot of guys don't even know what kind of girls want because, err... well... They don't even know a lot of girls to actually have some kind of preferred kind of girl. Also, they lack basic social skills. So... That's when PUA's enter. They try to replace basic experience and social skills with a cookie-cutter method, that is more of a placebo rather than an actually useful way to getting your dick wet.

  17. Hello Aaron

    Is there any good book you would recommend that is about dating advice for women? (assuming her goal is to find "true love",or at least as close to it as possible.)

    I assume that most popular dating advice given to women(i.e Playing unreasonably hard to get)is just like how mainstream PUA is to men. An unnecessary placebo at best,a deal-breaker at worst (i.e a girl playing excessive mind games makes herself look like a cocktease/attention whore,not LTR material)

    I've always thought that women's dating advice is summarized this way:
    1.Maximize her looks
    2.Expose herself to social situations via getting social hobbies
    3.Resist the urge to chase players and bad boys (who will obviously never commit to her. she's free to sleep with him if she wants to though)
    4.Be coy and don't sleep with him too early,but don't play excessive mind games either (most importantly however,know WHEN its time to stop the games and open up.)

    Or at least that's what I thought up. I assume however that there is a lot more to this than my hypothesis states.

    1. Well, the female clients I had all urged me to release a book with advice for women because apparently the existing material is even worse than the stuff our there targeting men.

      The four points you mention would work for some women. The question with looks is more about the kind of guy she wants to attract. If a woman maximizes her looks but also dresses very provocatively, she may have a hard time being taken seriously as a long-term prospect.

      When women contact me, it's often about the issue how they can make their guy commit, as there is the problem that some just live in a fantasy world where her status is at best akin to a mistress, albeit she holds out for a relationship that is very likely to never materialize. It's not overly surprising if you're dealing with a high-status man. More dramatic examples are when the only guys they are able to get are those who pump and dump them (well, then don't use sex as a means to trick guys into a relationship; this only really works on Bluepill Bob).

      The other big issue are unreasonably high standards or an inflated view of themselves thinking that they will be able to "trade up" to get a better guy ad infinitum. I wish some of those girls would have strong father figures in their life who make it clear to them that they should scrap their game playing and not waste their youth offering their pussy to every Matt, Brad and Chad that comes along. If you now want to argue with "biology" and "female hormones", then I'd have to point out that quite a few women manage to restrain their sexual urges. Likewise, any guy who gets tons of ass probably regularly refrains from fucking shady women, too, because they know they mean trouble.

  18. Aaron, is it really true that the Germans are teaching migrants how to rape (sorry, "how to make love with") white women, as shown in this video:

    At minute 5:00 they show a "flirt workshop" for migrants which was given in a German youth center by a sex therapist. That's pretty disturbing from my point of view...

    1. Yes, this is true. There is even a "dating coach" who is specializing on teaching those illegal immigrants how to get chicks, and he's being paid for by the government. You can't make that up.

      (I'll write more about politics and a number of more serious topics on a new blog. Details to follow soon.)

    2. And Obama and Hillary want the same thing in America.

  19. Hey Aaron and Alek and everyone else....

    I also came upon an interesting user on the quora website; is this guy trolling or not? Is this guy for real? I can't make myself believe some of the hilarious stuff on this guy's account, and he has disabled all responses to his messages....

    1. It looks like (very good) troll account to me. Quora is a shit hole, filled to the brim with conformity and stupidity. That user mocks fun at that, and in a smart way because if you are the average semi-intelligent Quora reader who skims stuff looking for affirmations of your own beliefs, you won't even notice that he is making fun of them.

    2. I also found this interesting reply, on a post about women whom are supposedly intelligent and attractive at the same time.

      It's funny but it seems that women, and attractive women are all the same; despite this women being born ugly and being made fun of, she turned out to just as shallow and superficial as any attractive women of her age group in her early twenties; which she hints at that by stating that alot of her boyfriends were the jock/douche types and she never really went out with the introverted nerd types and that she had men paying 1000$ for her at dates. How does this social dynamic really work?

      So attractive & intelligent women are just as shallow and superficial, and go after the same type of guys as attractive non-intelligent women for the same reasons and social mechanisms? So all women are really attracted to the same thing and all spew bullshit and lies about what they think and are attracted to, even if as in the case of this women, she grew up thinking she was ugly?

      So really all attractive women are all shallow, status and attention whoring, and vain narcissistic creatures that exhibit and act in similar to same ways regardless of intelligence level?

  20. Nice visualisation of the gender imbalance in metropolitan areas:

    "It's the rich areas with the highest women to men ratio."


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