Thursday, August 11, 2011

Are you as lonely as Vin DiCarlo?

I promised to dissect a few of Vin DiCarlo's email newsletters, but unfortunately I barely made it past the title of his latest one, which was called:

"The Loneliest Day Of My Life.."

First, I remembered this:

After a laugh I kept on reading, despite the lousy intro:

Welcome Back To The Sucess With Women Newsletter

In this issue, I give you the secret to having tons of friends... an active social life... great business connections... a powerful social network... and women who walk up to you and introduce themselves, without you saying a word.

Enjoy :-)

- Vin

...I knew there was no way I'm going to make it through that drivel. I did try, though, but I quickly realized that it was just one very simple idea drawn out to utterly bizarre length, and the idea was:

This Secret Is The Difference Between Being Single & Alone, And Having Tons Of Hot Girlfriends, Loyal Friends And An Active Social Life...


The secret is this:

Getting over your fear of starting a conversation and talking to people is the secret to having an active social life, tons of friends, sex whenever you want it and the hottest girlfriend you can possibly imagine.

No shit, Sherlock! Of course, with the exception of non-verbal pickups, you have to start a conversation or at least be able to sustain one if you want to get anywhere. However it is far from being the "secret" that gets you laid. What's next, telling guys that they have to tie their shoes if they want to get their dick wet? If I wanted to be a smart-ass I would now waffle on about the difference between a necessary and a sufficient condition, but it's easy enough to see what the problem is --- except if you are Vin DiCarlo's Internet lackey who has to come up with those nonsensical newsletters.

However, let's talk about a more serious issue here: loneliness. Yeah, I know, we are all afraid of dying alone and being found half-rotten six weeks later because the neighbors start to wonder about the nasty smell coming from our apartment --- and then the whole world will know how despicable we were, and how pathetic.

But let's be real here: loneliness is a feeling and has nothing to do whether you actually are alone or not. You may even have heard of expression such as "the lonely crowd", and while you may not have been familiar with the landmark sociological study I just linked to, you surely know the feeling of sitting with a group of friends or acquaintances and being emotionally distant --- because something else concerns you, and you know you can't share it with the people around you because they won't understand. (Maybe it's as simple as wanting to talk about "common sense" when in a group of PUAs. It just won't work.)

It is obvious that the seduction industry targets the fears of men who feel socially rejected or otherwise unworthy because they lack a woman in their life. But, frankly, had they been with a lot of women, they would know that this will not necessarily change their state of mind. In fact, some of your loneliest moments can be when you are waking up next to a woman you have no desire for anymore. This is a not so uncommon occurrence if you are going through a string of one-night stands and operate solely based on your horniness. Once you've gotten your rocks off, your motivation of having that woman around will drop to zero. For obvious reasons, no "PUA" will ever tell you this because they either barely get laid and thus don't know about this, or because they are afraid that sharing this bit of information would repel potential customers as it destroys the illusion they have created.

If you think my last paragraph was overly misogynistic, then please consider how you use porn. Of course, an argument can be made that directors like Jules Jordan have added an hitherto unknown esthetical component to the genre, and there is much to be said if favour of that position. But, frankly, there is usually a reason why you watch a porn clip instead of some art house film. And how do you do it? Well, you may even have some favourite stars, so you check out random websites and think, "Mmm, Blown By Sativa Rose & Lela Star surely sounds tempting." Thus, you play the video, do your thing, and once you've blown your load --- you are probably not going to finish watching the scene, or are you? Instead, you are much more likely to smile and think, "Now there is no need for that anymore." And as shocking as it may sound, the very same can happen if you go through a lot of women and mainly use them for sexual gratification. Also, if there are any femi-nazis reading this: sexually active women are no different from men in this regard, so keep your misandrist whining to yourself, bitches!

Of course, not everyone wants to bang a lot of girls (because they are brainwashed with pc-nonsense) and want to settle down with "that particular girl", no matter what she looks like, instead. But what do you think how this will be? Yes, you will be less "alone", but this doesn't mean you won't feel lonely anymore. If loneliness was an issue for you before you've entered the relationship, it may very well remain an issue in the relationship. Or do you honestly believe that just one woman on this planet will be able to relate to anything you say? Of course, there will be many areas where she would have absolutely nothing to contribute because it is outside the scope of her interests.

Lastly, as an excurse, I'd like to add that the fact that you will be less alone in a relationship can have grave consequences, too, because if you are a man with serious interests, whatever they may be, you may soon find that suddenly things aren't going so well anymore. Heck, you may even wonder what happened to all your spare time. Maybe you'll even start think that you are not as sharp anymore. But why, oh why, could this be the case?

Of course, if you've got no ambition and no interests whatsoever, then you may as well just marry some random chick (and get taken to the cleaners in your divorce five years later), but if this is not the case, which I assume simply because I attract a smart readership judging from the emails I get, then please read an important study by Satoshi Kanazawa, who is now teaching at the London School of Economics. It is called "Why productivity fades with age: The crime–genius connection" But guess what the main issue of fading productivity in marriage is:

Crime and genius share something else in common: Marriage depresses both. (...) [E]xpressions of genius among scientists who never married do not decline sharply. Half as many (50.0%) unmarried scientists make their greatest contributions in their late 50s as they do in their late 20s. The corresponding percentage among the married scientists is 4.2%.

It makes you think, doesn't it?

So, the next time you feel lonely, just devote yourself to your interests, and you'll notice that those feelings will quickly dissipate.


  1. Aaron, this is an excellent article. I completely agree with you. Loneliness is a product many people think they can fix with others. Unfortunately, that's not the case.

    However, the productivity argument could make sense, but I feel there is not enough evidence insofar as the controlling variables are concerned and also, the sample size.But that's just my opinion, my friend.

    Great blog! keep it up

  2. Hey man,

    I'm glad you've enjoyed the article.

    I can see why someone who is used to working with large data sets might question the adequacy of the sample size, but, frankly, given the scope of the article, contrasting the output of 186 married scientists with the output of 72 unmarried ones seems to be a perfectly valid approach. After all, it's not that there are millions of "geniuses" on this planet.


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