Thursday, April 26, 2012

Commentary on Presence's Breakthrough

Yesterday’s post was about the “breakthrough” of guy who calls himself Presence. He tells about his sudden shift of perceptions, and how this has made his interactions with women a lot better. Today, I want to discuss a few points that will surely be helpful for those of you who have problems with talking to women in a natural way.

 Also, it will cover what some people refer to as "inner game."

I have picked a few interesting quotes, and which I will discuss them in greater detail. The first is about the problem of approaching girls:
I was approaching a lot of girls, and mostly directly because I still can't think of much to say. (I still can't.) But this is simply not a problem for me anymore. I’m just direct.”
Everybody who has ever learnt an “opener” or practiced “routines” should give himself a big slap if he still hasn’t dropped this nonsense. Instead of thinking about what you say, you just follow your instincts, make some random comments, or say something nonchalant like “Hey, how is it going?” This is how people normally start conversations, and there is absolutely no need to overcomplicate this stage of the interactions.

Just think about it: If she likes you, it doesn’t matter all that much what you say (as long as you don’t say anything really stupid), but if she does not like you, then your “who lies more” routine won’t do anything at all for you. I thought that “routines” were not really popular anymore, but as I have recently learnt, the commercial seduction industry has hardly moved one iota. They still target insecure and inexperienced men, and they stand on call filling their heads with bullshit. However, talking to a woman you find interesting is the most normal thing on earth.
But, if that idea of how other people saw me was just my own projection, then other things were probably just projections as well.
I don’t want to make an over-generalization, but for the very most part you are hardly as important to other people as you think. Nobody in the club cares about you, and if you approach a girl like every other guy does (and don’t wear a furry hat), then you won’t draw much attention to you anyway. Even if you spend the whole night just standing around, it won’t matter because nobody will be looking at you. The other people in the club will be too busy trying to look cool and as if they are having fun.

Presence spoke of a “Zen moment”, meaning that he had this realization all of a sudden. This is indeed how those insights happen, and that’s why you could say it’s a sudden shift. It’s like this in many fields, actually. I won’t bother you with examples from geometry, but this is one of the subjects where people normally either get it or they don’t. It’s often just a few key insights that can make them get better grades in a short amount of time. For instance, I used to give private lessons in mathematics as a teenager, and the main issue of my students was that their teacher just didn’t properly explain the material. But once you get it, it just “clicks.”

Likewise, in pickup you may think that you have to have a “routines stack” or I don’t know what else. Once you have the key insight that you can actually just talk to women without any preparation, you will then realize how absurd mainstream pickup material really is. There is nothing that keeps you from approaching women (and now please don’t “read between the lines” that this is an endorsement of indiscriminate cold approaching, because it isn’t.)

I wanted the relationships to validate my and my view of the world. Of course, things don't work that way. The conscious awareness of my disappointment has been liberating: I don't have to project unrealistic ideas on women and relationships anymore.
This is an insight I wish more men would get. I have met so many people who thought that once they get “that special girl” or just any girl at all, their life will be complete. But this is not the case at all. It is true, though, that some men who go through a lot of women often do so to fill a void in their life. Some women are like that as well. But this prevents them from ever getting to know anyone better.

It is quite like any other addiction. Sure, you can down a bottle of vodka or smoke a ton of weed, but what happens once you are sober again? You’ll probably quickly realize that your life is as shitty and incomplete as it was before. Likewise, your proverbial seducer will find after he has had his orgasm that he hasn’t had any further interest in the woman at all. But instead of reflecting on that, he just goes out and hits the clubs again next weekend.

Presence’s story culminates in the following statement, and it’s one I think many guys should let sink in:
The game is exciting again. It was hard. But now it's just fun. I'm loving connecting with girls, where it used to be a chore before. When I see a pretty girl, my mind doesn't run through the programs looking to answer the question "how do I make her like me." That just seems weird to me now. Now, my mind asks "Is she cool enough for me to go and talk to her?"
Do you realize the key part? It’s that “game” is exciting again. This is the complete opposite from what you normally encounter in lairs or on mainstream pickup forums where many guys complain about their failures, or ask how they can keep themselves motivated. But this is the wrong approach. You shouldn’t have to force yourself to talk to girls. Instead, you should talk to girls you genuinely find interesting. What you will also learn is that there really aren’t that many interesting women around, and now please don’t tell me that your average PUA who hits on 50 women a day really wants to find out anything about them. He just wants to get laid, and he doesn’t really care about with whom.

But what if all those people who have either burnt out doing pickup or are still putting themselves under a lot of stress to approach girl after girl would just relax. Only approach her if you feel like approaching her. Let me tell you a big secret, and one the commercial gurus won’t tell you: You only feel approach anxiety because you don’t really want to approach dozens of women on the street or in the club. Who wants to feel like a used cars sales man, after all? On the other hand, if you found yourself, say, rock-climbing with a cool chick, you’d almost automatically end up asking her out. It really is that simple.

Maybe Presence can show some of you the way. When I was reading through his emails, I felt very happy because I realized that he's getting it and that he now knows what seduction and pickup really are all about, and I hope that sharing his story will give some of you who are still struggling some key insights as well.


  1. The point about approach anxiety is something which I too have experienced myself, that I rarely feel elevated levels of approach anxiety anymore. I didn't want to write about it attributing it to only approaching friendly women who seem interesting because I had much lesser approach anxiety to begin with than most other guys but this confirms that for me.

    Another point which you made about automatically asking girls out who you connect with - it's a related realization which I had some time back for myself.

    What was happening was that my problem was with not escalating. Also a lack of experience meant I didn't have reference points of what dates, interest from women, relationships etc. were like. Reading all these PUA books made me think that it is clearly not as simple as going out, finding a girl who you get along well with and just escalating. It had to be some other weird macho thing.

    I would go on all these activities, get along super well with some girl and ask her out saying this was fun, lets meet up again. We would meet up again but I would not escalate because I never thought of these as "dates". I would never make the interaction sexual or be even somewhat flirty with them and then later complain to myself that no girl likes me!

    Nowadays it's the very same thing - it's the same girls who I meet at random activities or through some friend. This time when I meet them for dates though, the atmosphere is more sexual, I am more flirtatious, I am more physical, they turn up in sexier clothes.

    1. Where you and many of Aaron's minions go wrong is trying to passively improve your dating life. This is the wrong mindset to have if you want to improve your love life. Real men go after what they want which women find attractive instead of waiting for a girl to make the first move. By applying Aaron Sleazy's advice most men are waiting for women to make the first move which any guy with game will tell you is WRONG.

    2. Psychotic... Oh wow you have such a hyoooooooooooge internet penis there! Color me impressed. You walk around harassing random women!?! That is soooo hawt, you're such a real man!!! You are rrrrrrr-eeeeeee---aaaaaaaa-----lllllllll

      Except for one problem dorky dork.

      A docummentary once had hidden cameras and researchers followed bar pickups. In every succesful pickup they interviewed the guy later. The guy would talk about how he chose a chick for being hot, and then charmed her into liking him.

      However, the researchers and the cameras noted this was not true. In every single succesful pickup, it was the woman who had chosen the men and sent dozens of warm signals, before he even conciously noted she existed.

      He would subconciously pick up on her signals, and later swear he noticed her looks. The researchers, the cameras and the women all confirmed the women made the first move in every single succesful pickup.

      If you have a high success rate when approaching random women, you most likely intuitively pickup signals from women - this is what most naturals do.

      If you approach indiscriminately, like puas do, you occasionally stumble on success, because you randomly hit on a woman who was interested in you anyway. Or how else do you explain the shitty success rates dorky dork?

    3. Yeah dude, if you supposedly go after what you want and then charm women to want you then why do you have such abysmal success rates guys? If you the guy make it happen, and not the woman, then wouldn't you have less catastrophic failure?

    4. @Psychotic

      You are both a spammer and strawman a lot. Aaron has never told anyone to be passive. Using social calibration is not passivity. Choosing whom to invest energy in and whom to pass up is not passivity, it's choosing where to invest wisely, rather than throwing shit and hoping it sticks.

      As crazyhorse said on MarkMoron's forum
      I'm also a believer that most so called cold approaches are usually warm approaches but you didn't notice the signal from the girl. Or you just had your back towards her. This is the point that he's trying to make!

      Also, read Illuminatus overexertions post

      Aaron and Illuminatus are teaching you what naturals already do.

    5. Aaron doesn't outright say to use passive game but the advice he's giving you fools is to I quote"wait until a women shows you interest, then you approach". Again, this mindset implies that you wait for the girl to make the first move which is cowardly and causes you to lose out on MANY single women. As to that "documentary", that is free to intrepreatation. But I will say this. Women ARE the choosers.that's true. But many men take Aaron's advice at face value and waits until a girl shows interest to them. But what happens if no girl shows them interest? They wait and wait and wait. Real men don't wait for success. they go after it. Unlike Aaron Sleazeball

    6. "wait until a women shows you interest, then you approach"

      Actually you fucking moron... HE SAYS TO HAVE A FUCKING LIFE. YOU KNOW SHIT TO DO.

      You're not standing around in a mall waiting for women to show you interest. You keep projecting your troll basement-dwelling reality onto others.

      IF YOU HAVE EVEN THE SEMBLANCE OF A LIFE (unlike you trolls)


      "But what happens if no girl shows them interest? "

      Mmm, they should take a shower, stop being obese or kill themselves.

      Who the fuck doesn't have women showing them interest? You have to be physically deformed or have NO LIFE in other for this to happen.

      A normal man gets dozens of warm signals each time he goes out shopping, or goes to have a beer at the bar with his friends.

      "causes you to lose out on MANY single women"

      You do realize you dorks that each time you write something so scarcity minded as this you admit that you are basement dwelling tards?

      ANY MAN WITH A LIFE has an abundance of women pursuing him, flirting with him, throwing themselves at him etc.. etc. THIS IS NORMAL. This is the REALITY of non-cave-dwelling people.

      If you just use any of the hundreds of warm signals as NORMAL non-cave-dwelling man gets, you would have 5 girlfriends in a MONTH.


      Sure, if someone SUPER special passes you by on the street, and she's in a hurry, feel free to sprint up to her, coz she's the kind of chick you see once every 3 months... BUT RANDOM FUCKING AVERAGE FEMALE NOBODIES?


      Do you realize what you ADMIT each time you say this shit you puatards. You literally admit to having NO LIFE.

  2. My own personal reasons why I have approach anxiety:
    - Fear of rejection
    - Fear of being humiliated of being rejected in public. Doesn't matter where it is clubs or library or class
    - Fear of awkwardness afterward especially if I see her again like class, gym, bar.

    1. I feel for you man. But what a lot of guys here don't realize is that Aarons advice will actually hurt most of you. He says to don't approach a girl unless she shows you interest FIRST. Why don't you be a man and show her interest FIRST.Real men lead, they don't follow

    2. He says to don't approach a girl unless she shows you interest FIRST.

      You fucking socially miscalibrated creep.

      That's how the mating process works. And she doesn't have to show YOU interest directly. It could be that she shows signals in general.

      There are 3 options

      1 See if she glances in your direction

      2 See if she's approachable and sending warm signals in general

      3 You can GLANCE in her direction and SMILE and see if she responds, if she does, approach

      If a chick doesn't meet either of these 3 criteria, the odds of getting her are almost impossible. This has been proven. Even when you approach without checking whether she's open to an approach, when it does work, it's because you randomly hit on the one who was approachable.

      If you had conciously picked to only approach chicks who are approachable, you'd have hit on the same one anyway, without having to hit 15 others first. And yes, get 15 fake numbers you fucking idiot.

    3. I would add one thing. When you approach indiscriminately, you don't just lose 5 minutes chatting to a chick who's only being polite.

      These chicks also give you their numbers and you can lose hours and hours negotiating and texting back and forth with chicks who don't know how to get rid of you.

      If you only go for chicks who are responsive to eye contact or who seem warm, you find that setting up dates is effortless and there are no flakes, no tugging back and forth. It just works effortlessly.

    4. @ThePsychoticTardWhoSaysAaronIsPromotingPassivity

      This is an article that aaron keeps featuring on his forum

    5. I said it before and I'll say it again. Only COWARDS wait for a women to make the first move( shows interest). Many times women are in bad moods or are having bad days and if you have the BALLS to approach her you would learn that underneath the surface is a sweet girl who's lonely. But most of Aaron's GIRL SCOUTS prefer to wait until the girl makes the first move then wonders why they can't get a date to save their life.

  3. My reaction to Presence's breakthrough is very much influenced by my personal experiences. As such this is almost an aside to what he's saying, not a comment directly on it. I don't have anything to say about the content of his breakthrough one way or the other. I more found myself reacting to the idea that he had a sudden moment of realization that significantly upped his game.

    I'm not saying his account of his experiences is false, but I naturally find myself feeling skeptical when I hear people talking like this. I've known about the community for a while and struggled with dating, and for the longest time I was on a hunt for a magical sudden inner game epiphany that would make me instantly better with women. It never happened. Sure, I got tons of epiphanies, and they felt really important at the time, but they never amounted to much in terms of actual results. I see other guys in this scene doing the same epiphany junkie thing I did. They're looking for that magic bullet insight that will suddenly rearrange their thinking, make them confident, and solve all their problems.

    Personally all my real progress with dating has come down to pushing my comfort zone and getting real world experience. Just my two cents. And just my personal reaction to all this.

    1. The epiphany is not supposed to get you more women, rather it is like finally accepting that there is nothing you can do to alter your natural limitations.

      You no longer search for any magic bullet - you realize that there is none. That's the epiphany. It's the epiphany to end all epiphanies - you cease trying. You cease caring.

      This releases you to just be natural and relaxed. You don't get any more women as a result. But you feel calm and at peace about that part of your life.

      As for learning to overcome approach anxiety, 9/10 of it is because you feel you must perform and cannot be normal and natural. Approach anxiety is not different from performance anxiety in any other field. When we think we must produce a result, but feel unsure if we can, we will feel immense anxiety. But if we accept that it is not up to us to produce that result? Then we no longer feel anxious.

      We do not fear the public "humilation" of rejection, we fear the humiliation of having tried to achieve something and failed abjectly. But if were never trying to achieve anything there is no failure. If we were never trying to get the girl we did not fail. If we merely tried to "see" if there was interest there, without trying to create it, we did not fail. There is no anxiety and no humiliation. We know very well when we are trying to "get" the girl or when we are merely trying to "see" if there is a connection there. We know our own motivations, and we feel anxiety and the potential for a humiliating failure if we are really trying to "get" the girl. And others can see it in our body language and demeanor if we are trying to "get" the girl, as well. They can tell if we were trying to achieve something or merely trying to see if something was the case.

    2. The epiphany is not supposed to get you more women

      It does get you more women per year, because you focus on more productive venues and ways of obtaining success.

      I know what you mean though John. It doesn't get you different women than if you didn't have the realization. The realization just helps you save time by not wasting it on fruitless efforts.

      Also your point on AA is very true. When your only goal becomes to have a normal conversation with another human being, just like you would with a friend - then all AA disappears.

    3. I know it all sounds nice and good on theory, but whenever approach anxiety occurs, you can't think straight and all the great insights and posts here are immediately forgotten. The anxiety is very real, overwhelming and irrational. The best way to get rid of it is to just do it regardless the outcome. Then it'll fade away.

    4. Hey man, but this isn't theory you need to think of when you have AA hahaha.

      You shouldn't even get AA in the first place if you understood this point. If you understand that you need to stop trying to get something from women, but just want to converse with and meet people regardless of gender, you will find AA never appears.

    5. What I'm trying to say is that it doesn't matter if you're trying to impress a girl or just to have a normal conversation to see if she's cool/not. Approach anxiety pops up without warning and any rational reason. I can read tons of encouraging posts and articles and argument, but when it shows up I forget all of them.

    6. I understand what you're saying about if I were to never knew about AA in the first place I won't have these problem.

      But I do remember that even before I discovered the concept of AA years ago I've always been nervous when I see a girl I was very interested in. It's already there, it's just that AA conceptualizes it.

      It sucks, but I guess that's part of human nature and it's something that different people will deal with it differently. Some people go to psychiatrist, some people do yoga and mediation, some people just, I don't know, go for vacation and forget all these. Some just approach and do it attitude.

    7. The reason you had AA was because you wanted something. Instead of just thinking about having a conversation with a fellow human being you were thinking omg what do I say to make her like me, what do I do to get a date etc etc...

      If your only goal to see is what she is like as a person you will not feel AA. If you approach her to see what she is like you will not have AA. You are only talking to her to see what she's like. You don't have AA if you're the one judging her. Start judging women.

    8. Anon, I would say that in those situations where AA pops up you are probably getting strong signals from the girl that she is not into you, but are seeking to ignore this and talk to her anyway.

      In this scenario, you ALREADY KNOW that she is not into you - so you cannot be going over to "see" if she is into you, you know it, or at least you are very, very uncertain.

      In this case approaching cannot be anything BUT an attempt to "get" the girl despite evident signs of disinterest on her part that you are trying to suppress.

      I think someone on Aarons blog made a point very similar to this a while back.

      Thing is, if you feel massive AA after you have adopted the correct mentality in a particular case (like you say, sometimes you feel it anywyas)that probably means the chic is giving you indications of disinterest, and you simply should NOT approach, because then approaching becomes an attempt to "force" a reaction.

      Maybe sometimes we should listen to our intuitions and the signals our minds and bodies are sending us......

      These days, what I day when I am into a girl is position myself near her, seek eye contact, make clear I am interested. If I do not get a positive response, if I do not "feel right" about approaching, my mind is simply picking up the wrong signals from her, and I don't approach. Every time I ignored my emotional system I have regretted it.

      Our emotional system operates the way it does for a reason, not randomly. We feel AA if we we try to accomplish something we fear we cannot. If we have abandoned that mentality and still feel AA in a particular case, it is likely because the girl has already communicated to us that we cannot have her, and thus an approach becomes automatically an "attempt", not merely an exploratory venture, to "see".

    9. John, that's a great point!

      I think Aaron should feature this comment.

  4. Aaron Sleazy's way of thinking is why many guys struggle with their dating life. Aaron claims that cold approaching women is useless but this is false. I have attracted many women by cold approaching them and using my charm to seduce them. Only inexperienced men like Aaron Sleazy would claim the opposite.

    1. I reported you to blogspot for comment spamming and link-baiting.

    2. I will also report you to wordpress you linked to. Your blog obviously breaks their TOS as you're using it for search-engine-optimization purposes.

    3. Oh No! Don't report me:( No tell Wordpress on me:(

  5. Hey guys, this is interesting.

    Obviously the study is flawed as there is no placebo group. I'm sure that seductionmyth admin guy will explain more.

  6. I just read the thread where MarkManson was shitting over Aaron. A poster there said some good stuff. A guy called crazyhorse wrote this.

    But I still liked the article. There are so many guys out there who are completely blind to social cues and they randomly approach women.

    I'm also a believer that most so called cold approaches are usually warm approaches but you didn't notice the signal from the girl. Or you just had your back towards her. This is the point that he's trying to make!

    I mean face it when you walk up to a girl, she knows you're coming and she has already decided whether she likes you or not. That's the point of the article.

    One of MarkManson's butt-kissers wrote this

    For example, your in a club and a woman gives you eye contact. Aaron would consider that a warm approach. Another example, Aaron spots a chick with open body language towards him, giving him proximity, and exhibiting overexertions. He would approach her because he would then consider it to be a warm approach. I do agree that approaching women who have shown you some sort of interest has a great chance of success than approaching women with no signs of interest.... no matter what kind of label you want to put on the approach.

    I simply label cold approach as being an approach to any woman who you dont know and is not part of your social circle and with the purpose of eventually fucking her. And yes, cold approach works well. Very well when you get good at it.

    So they admit they know what Aaron means by cold approach, and that they have a different definition, but they still criticize him as being wrong, even though they agree with what he says, just not the definition of the word. Too funny.

  7. Mark Manson consistently derides any discussion by anyone else teaching anything in his forum. It's a business strategy -- he put down a guy called Brian (Brian posted some funny stuff but I'm quite amazed that he beared with Mark putting him down for as long as he did) as well as GLL.

  8. Somebody on puahate posted a really good account from some PUA who had been cold-approaching everyone campus for a long time, thinking he was "da big pimp" and making girls' days better... Then he learned he was actually the campus creep lol


    Let’s talk about my personal experiences from here on out…

    Whenever I entered college, I thought I was a fairly social being. In high school, I had friends here and there in different social groups that I’d bounce around to, but I would RARELY chat up “strangers”. The thought talking to people I didn’t know seemed appealing in my mind, however, my body would NOT ALLOW me to follow through with the actions.

    When I did muster up the courage to actually start talking to girls, I just asked them simple questions like, “Hey…do you know where XYZ Hall is?” I’d simply take the conversation out as long as I could without making things sexual and without touching because I was afraid to get “Blown out”. I don’t think I even got blown out asking for directions from a girl, but it gave me enough courage to actually start *flirting* with college girls.

    As a total newbie, I thought that girl sitting on the bus with a STONE COLD look on her face staring off into the distance meant that she didn’t want to be bothered. Nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, these gorgeous college girls are just bored as **** in their mind that there’s nothing fun going on in front of them or they’re just putting on the “***** face” for fun.

    I would be able to easily walk up to one of these “Stone Cold” girls and have her INSTANTLY open up to me, or within 30 seconds, I was in. The conditioning of a past life had always told me, “Don’t talk to strangers, and don’t disturb others”.

    Naturally, I overcame this old belief in my mind and I slowly started accumulating reference experiences in my mind that told me, “Hey…girls are friendly…and they aren’t as closed off as I initially thought”.

    1. PART2

      What did I do from there?

      I slowly started getting edgier and edgier. More flirtatious, more cockiness, more arrogance. I spoke louder and I started walking with a swagger in my step (however I am black, so my inherited swagger from Africa just turned into Super Swag), and most of all, I developed the confidence to start chatting up ANYONE in ANY situation.

      College University Bookstore? Class Hallways? Crowded Bus Stop Benches? Bustling Dining Halls?

      IT DIDN’T ****ING MATTER. All of these places had cute college girls, and the sensations in my body all told me, “Cute girl….go flirt…go have fun”.

      I’d walk to class and chat up whatever cute college girl was walking in my direction (Side Note: girls who are walking in your direction to the same building you are headed to are PERFECT to chat up. You’re going to see these girls over and over again and you can become friends with these girls or more depending on your liking). Before class, I’d ALWAYS be socializing with someone – mostly girls, sometimes guys. But no matter what, I was always socializing…everywhere that I went.

      With the cute university hotties, there would be a lot of playfulness, fun, and pure flirting. I’d chat them up, get their numbers depending on if they were cool, and make plans to meet up and party later. With guys, it would just be chill conversation or maybe me busting their balls and doing some networking to see how we could party and meet chicks. Sometimes I’d see an older person on campus (aka someone over the age of 25 who was maybe a professor or admin worker) and I’d joke with them about being “being surrounded by these kindergartners of college kids” or something like that.

      The point is, I socialized anywhere that I go. Mainly, it was me hitting it off with the girls and having a fun time. I had finally developed the ability to walk up to any girl, start talking with her, have a good interaction with her, and eventually lead it to a mutual win-win direction (aka fun times in the sack). I was one, small step away from being able to levitate, walk on water, and even swallow entire swords.

    2. PART 3



      I was on this bus with a lady-friend of mine. The following conversation occurred. Names changed for confidentiality:

      Me: Yeah…so what did you do yesterday?

      Her: Oh, I just went shopping with my friend Linda and we went bra shopping

      Me: Awesome, I met a girl named Linda yesterday

      Her: Wait…did you meet her on a bus?

      Me: Yeah…Linda with redhair and blue eyes, right?

      Her: Holy ****…that’s the one…she told me about you

      Me: Oh cool, what did she say?

      Her: She said, “There was this creepy guy who got my number on the bus yesterday”


      Her: But don’t worry, she thought you were weird but I told her you were cool and that you just flirt with any cute girl you see


      Her: She has a boyfriend too

      Me: **JUMP OFF A BRIDGE**


      Since I started college, I had obviously been walking around with the delusion that I was the most awesome guy on campus and that no one could touch me in any possible way. I saw men, women, and children have better days after me talking to them for a couple of minutes. I had the “Midas Touch” with women and people in general. Before this point, it seemed that I spat golden nuggets of verbal game everywhere that I went, girls’ phone numbers flowed like milk and honey into my phone, girls were just always showing attraction no matter what, and I could tell that naughty things were bound to happen by the looks in their eyes.

      But Me+Creepy+Weird? Impossible…

      The following thoughts went through my head:

      “How could this be possible? Was I not awesome enough? Was I not cool enough? Was I actually all those words – creepy, weird? How could someone not like me?

      Maybe she’s a *****. Maybe she’s just weird. If ANYONE thinks that *I’M* weird, they are just stupid as ****. For *ME* to be weird…impossible.”

      Once I got back, I went back to my stash of field reports and concluded that I was coming off too strong for that particular girl (shy, very conservative) and that talking about “animal bestiality” and “seeing pigs rape each other” *probably* was too far outside of her reality. So, bad judgment on my part.

      Even thought this was simply a lack of calibration that would be easy to fix in the future, this ended up setting off a chain reaction of mental movies and images of failure, rejection, and blowouts in my mind.

      The perfect image of myself – me, a popular guy, phenomenal with women, I could do things that other guys couldn’t, I had this special “skillset” that no one else had – this perfect image of myself came crashing down with just two words.
      “Creepy” and “Weird”

      Only after this “horrific event” to my self-image (ego) and a long journey inside myself to the very depths of my mind and being would result in me dealing with this properly.


      I'm pretty sure a similar delusion is happening with all the guys defending cold-approaching on here...

  9. Aaron posted this back in february

    cani wrote:
    I think waiting for her to give you a signal to approach, is being too reactive. You may have to wait forever. What if a girl does not see you, but she would be attracted to you if you approached? if you waited for her to make an invitation, you would have missed out. Be proactive, and you will get girls.

    AaronSleazy wrote:
    This is true. However, there is also a deeper truth about cold approaching: A lot of guys are simply unable to read a girl's signals. In my experience, girls normally show some interest if they want to be approached. Sure, some don't, but those are the "grey zone girls", as I define them in Minimal Game.

    Thus, if you can't quite read body language signals, then keep doing what you perceive to be "cold approaches". However, as you gain more experience, you may realize, looking back, that the cold approaches that were successful were normally "warm approaches", but you didn't realize it back then. Yes, a girl briefly glancing over more often than not would be very appreciative if you walked up and talked to her.

    The situation Cani describes (girl not seeing you) is not uncommon, though. A pretty good course of action is to give her a chance to react to you. While you can of course walk up to a girl you find interesting, but who hasn't seen you yet, it's better to give her a chance to check you out. Approaching a girl from behind is a big no-no in my book as it is surprising, and she may get intuitively defensive. She should see what's coming. Thus, you elegantly sidestep this issue.

  10. Most of this post is very good,but I would like to comment on the last part about approach anxiety where Sleazy said :

    "You only feel approach anxiety because you don’t really want to approach dozens of women on the street or in the club.On the other hand, if you found yourself, say, rock-climbing with a cool chick, you’d almost automatically end up asking her out. It really is that simple"

    Most people in this situation won't have AA,yes,because there is no approach to speak of. You are part of a social activity, the girl(s) are part of it also ( this also applies to yoga class or whatever ). She is not a stranger. Chances are she will probably say something first even if you are shy. You are not approaching complete stranger,so ofc there is no approach anxiety.
    What Sleazy is talking about here can be called standard dating. It's the way most people outside of the community get laid or meet someone for LTR etc.. Most people don't approach complete strangers,but meet people through social activities,social circles,school,work etc...
    I am not going to argue this does not work or even about the fact that it is easiest way to meet someone.
    But this has nothing to do with pickup. If you are going to go on meeting people this way,you can just stop reading all pickup websites. You are just doing what all other people do. If they dont need pickup websites,then you dont either.
    But,if you do want to meet women you don't know,even if only when she is interested and you like her,and she is not part of your social activity/group,for example, a woman in a bar or a club when you are out with your friends,or some cutie who keeps checking you out when you are out shopping,then YES YOU WILL HAVE APPROACH ANXIETY IF YOU HAVE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE. It doesn't metter if you dont approach dozens of women,approach just one now and then who seems interested will be even harder for a guy who have approach anxiety.
    Approach anxiety is based on fear of unknown as much as its based on fear of rejection.
    What is my advice ? My advice is to practice approaching strangers atleast untill you dont have AA anymore. Even if you dont want to randomly cold approach,then force yourself to approach warm prospects.
    Unless you dont want to learn pickup at all,and just do "normal afc game" of hooking up with chicks from your yoga or rock climing classes,your social circles, job, friends, etc..

    1. SexualTard

      What makes you an authority to give advice? What's your lay count?

      I Don't agree that you have to approach thousands of women to stop AA with warm chicks.

      AA only exists for warm chicks if you have general socials anxiety. So you should talk to a lot of women in your social circles. A lot healthier way to overcome AA.

      If you can comfortably converse with chicks in social circle, you will not have AA for the chick standing next to you at a concert.

    2. Let me ask you a question. What makes Aaron an authority to give advice? Anybody can make up their lay count. I slept with 2,000 women.because somebody says something does NOT make it true. Does Aaron have any proof that he actually gets girls? I've never seen any.

  11. My lay count is over 20...whats your lay count ?
    Not that it has anything to do with what I am talking here. Because I am talking about my experiences when my lay count was indeed zero.
    I never had social anxiety. Do you even know what that is ? Its disorder registered as such in medical books and practice.
    Not beeing able to talk to some random woman who is giving you signals is not a registered disorder. It certanly is not social anxiety.
    Most guys dont have social anxiety.Most guys will have approach anxiety when they want to talk to a stranger,even if she seems interesed. Most guys will not have problems talking with women in social circles or social activities.
    What you are saying is simply not true for most guys. Just because you can comfortable converse with chicks in social circles ( who the hell cant do that ? ) does not meant you can do the same when approaching complete stranger,especially if you have not done something like that ever before ( or very rarely )

  12. 20 lays on cold approaches you must be an approach machine not one guy has laid 20 girls in a short period time on cold approaches .

    how many girls did you approach that landed you 20 lays ? in what amount of time ?

    you either have the golden ticket for the PUA nerds or you have a shitload of time to have 20 lays on cold approaches .

    So many guys consider a cold approach when a girl gives them an invitation to be approach .

  13. I never said I have 20 lays of cold approaches :) Ofc it's easier approaching women who are interested to start with. I was just commenting that even this might be problem for some guys,even if they have no problem socializing with women in some other situation,such as friends of friends,even social activities Sleazy always mentions such as yoga or rock climbing or whatever.
    For me approaching a stranger in a bar or a club,or street,park whatever was always a problem because of fear,even if she would lock eyes and smile. It didn't really metter with how much chicks I talked to day before on xy class or social circle or whatever.
    How can we help those people other then to say they need to approach any way they can until they get it under control,even if it means cold approaching. I know it worked for me to get me out of my shell,get rid of approach anxiety completely and got me more comfortable with women in general.
    BTW,before somebody calls me PUA shill again : I think all commercial PUA are scam,you cant learn this shit that way,and if you give money to someone you gullible and naive person.
    The most I approve are cheap ebooks like Sleazy is selling. Anything more expensive is a scam :)

    1. You admit that you couldn't get many lays from cold approaching but you are still telling men to go around pestering women.

      There is no logic to what you are saying. Pester random women with a pissed off look in order to improve around women who are interested?!?

      That makes no sense!!!!!

      Why not practice directly on warm women? There are hundreds of them everywhere and you might get laid in the process. Why practice on women who look closed off? You yourself admit it didn't get you laid much despite being such a defender of being a creep and harassing random women.

    2. Where did I say anything about cold approaching in this comment ? I just say that even if some guys are very social and talk with women in social siuations,group,circles they still may have approach axniety when they see unknown woman chechking him out on the street,park,bar club etc...
      I said in my first comment that if you have approach anxiety and can force yourself only to approach warm prospects despite your approach anxiety,then great,that what you should do

  14. Well I thought your 20 lay counts were through cold approaches sorry if I missed understood you .Then the conversation on why cold approaching is pretty much useless I'm guessing it's absorb by you . eh ?

    Now back to AA ,you can't send a guy whose never been social to start approaching woman out of the blue .Not only it can fuck up his self esteem even more then what it is it will make him a weirdo at the end .A guy whose never been social needs to start making friends and meeting girls through there group gathering " whatever that may be "once experience is picked up by that specific person you will then start to see how many signals woman send you through out you daily routine .Yes it's that simple the problem is most older virgins or pua nerds look for a magic pill and like to complicate things in life and they think they will start pulling hotties approaching random woman .Why you think there are websites like puahate and thousands of guys with fucked up self esteems on similar websites like that ??? They were once pua's thinking about the magic pill

    A normal guy who gets ass and has a good normal life would find this comical and retarded there is no use to stand on a college campus in which you don't go and start approaching woman like a creep . Or go to the mall and start approaching woman like a creep or stand on downtown on the city you live in and start approaching woman like a creep .

    The best advice for a virgin or an inexperience shy nerd is to pick up an activity and make friends once you make friends go out with them a normal social circle includes woman or woman coming in and out that group of friends your shyness would decrease once you start acting social little by little and your self esteem won't be tarnished ...

    Normal guys who get ass are not naturals they are normal guys with normal lifes .They don't go around approaching thousands of woman to get rid of there shyness or AA they naturally find a niche on where they go who they hang out with and that's how you get laid .Some guy's don't even care about racking lays they just want a g.f .That's why PUA"s are so fucked up in there heads and invent a new technique every month in which they think is the golden ticket for woman .

  15. Look,if you think approaching women is only what creeps do,and you feel like a creep doing it,that will show and of course women will pickup up on this and they will also think you are creep.
    There is nothing "creepy" about approaching women even if its "cold" ( they dont send signals they want to be approached )
    Not to mention there is nothing creepy approaching woman who give you eye contact,smile,glance at you,check you out etc..
    If you are fine meeting girls only through social activities,social circles,your job, etc.. then good for you.
    That's great if want only a gf etc.. Most men want more,ONS,FB,MLTRs etc..
    Most men are not fine only meeting girls way you describe. They want to pickup chicks in clubs,bars,parks,streets,while shoping,doing daily errands etc.
    Most people are not as unsocial as you describe. They already have friends and social circles with girls in them.
    They just want more variety and more girls in their lives.

    1. Finally somebody with some common sense on this site. I agree with this statement. The only thing I'm trying to tell Aaron's GIRL SCOUTS is that it's normal for guys to approach women that they find attractive. Unless you're a creep with no social skills women find cold approaching very attractive and sexy

    2. Unless you're a creep with no social skills

      It is precisely creeps with no social skills who approach women from the behind without seeing if the woman is open to an approach.

      women find cold approaching very attractive and sexy

      Yes, and they give you a fake number, and they never fuck you. But you get to home and jerk off to how you made some woman's day and how much she liked you approaching her. But you're still jerking off to a kleenex.

  16. SexualHero = Look,if you think approaching women is only what creeps do,and you feel like a creep doing it,that will show and of course women will pickup up on this and they will also think you are creep.
    There is nothing "creepy" about approaching women even if its "cold" ( they dont send signals they want to be approached )
    Not to mention there is nothing creepy approaching woman who give you eye contact,smile,glance at you,check you out etc..
    If you are fine meeting girls only through social activities,social circles,your job, etc.. then good for you.
    That's great if want only a gf etc.. Most men want more,ONS,FB,MLTRs etc..
    Most men are not fine only meeting girls way you describe. They want to pickup chicks in clubs,bars,parks,streets,while shoping,doing daily errands etc.
    Most people are not as unsocial as you describe. They already have friends and social circles with girls in them.
    They just want more variety and more girls in their lives.


    It's funny how you gave my post a twist "very cute"

    You think like a PUA and you try to respond with cleverness like a PUA giving my post a nice little twist . I never said not to approach woman who give you warm signals .It's funny how you PUnerds cherry pick a post and put them in your own words .

    I said for shy nerds "cause most PUA'S are nerds " whose never been social it's best for him to make friends and meet woman through there group gatherings first .Once experience is been picked up by that specific person then he can start approaching woman to whom give off warm signals Maybe you don't get this but woman do the choosing mr.clever .Most kids who get into the PUA garbage get fucked in there heads even more then before because the PU advise is mostly B.S .

  17. People who never been social like you describe are in minority. Atleast here where I live. Yes,your advice is good for them. My advice is for "normal" people who are not used talking or picking up complete strangers.
    When you see a girl in your yoga class couple of times,she is not a stranger to you,and you are not a stranger to her

  18. I understand this is going to be a quite sterile comment but I wanted to express my opinion anyway. I've followed the threads in these last days and what occurs to me is that everybody is getting mad at each other upon mere terminology.

    Also the entire phenomenon of anti pua community, which has been quite interesting in the past, is turning in "do whatever normal guys do and do absolutely nothing that any PUA does and you'll get laid for sure!" -- which is ok for social retards but has no relevance whatsoever for a guy who already has a normal, healthy and satisfying social life but somehow lacks consistent sexual life. I, for one, don't get laid very much because I am too shy to act upon the warm signals I receive (I'm quite good looking and usually it's my girl buddies that ask me for fashion advice and not the other way around). Even when I get laid I often need, at some point in time, to push myself a little because I'm uncertain of the situation, but after that I get laid so I don't see how in these cases it would be nature signaling me that I'm about to do something wrong.

    Couldn't we simply say that, while the closedness of a girl might play a role in building approach anxiety, the psychology, experience and sensitivity of the guy approaching plays a role too, and thus we can't establish a direct and absolute correlation and that's it?

    I frankly find this lack of contextualization disturbing, on all parties.

  19. Then why you want to make it more difficult ? What Sleazy meant by yoga classes or any other activity's it;s finding a niche where you go and enjoy the environment like myself I go to a lot of housemusic night club or electro music night clubs .I know lots of people there that's my place where I get laid or the gym when I train a cute girl in which she is into me .Why make it more difficult and approach random woman a guy who has a busy life won't have the time to do that.Not only that but he would find it comical and ridiculous .No men who has a normal life will go to the park to pickup woman or to talk to woman for his AA mission he will go to the park for a jog or for other things if he encounters a woman and has a normal convo and he reads those signals believe me he will strike it;s called human instincts .If the girl likes him she will go along with his advances .

    It's a total myth by the pua scam community that normal guy's don't get laid .It's a brain washing technique in which makes you feel different from the rest of the guy's out there .So you believe you are skillful on picking up woman there is no skills there is no game a woman makes her decision when she first lays eyes on you if she digs you the rest is up to you not to fuck it up and make your move .

    1. Problem with most guys who dont get laid is that they do fuck it up and dont make their move at all,or in timely fashion while chick is still interested.

    2. It's a total myth by the pua scam community that normal guy's don't get laid

      They have to keep repeating that to scare you and make you stick to PUA crap. The truth is that far more AFCs get laid than PUAs.

      The average PUA has less lays and dates than the average person PUA.

  20. Psychotic posted this brainwashed crap, let's dissect it
    I said it before and I'll say it again. Only COWARDS wait for a women to make the first move( shows interest). Many times women are in bad moods or are having bad days and if you have the BALLS to approach her you would learn that underneath the surface is a sweet girl who's lonely. But most of Aaron's GIRL SCOUTS prefer to wait until the girl makes the first move then wonders why they can't get a date to save their life.


    I said it before and I'll say it again. Only COWARDS wait for a women to make the first move( shows interest).

    YOU FUCKING IDIOTIC FUCKING MORON - Most of us come from a background of doing thousands of indiscriminate approaches you fucked up socially mis-calibrated fuck. We did the comparison ourselves, we're not newbies like you who discovered approaching last week and still haven't learned the finer nuances.

    THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING "courageous" ABOUT "throwing shit around and hoping some of it sticks" you fucked up loser. BEING UNPRODUCTIVE and WASTING TIME does not MAKE YOUR PENIS LARGER you socially mis-calibrated loser.

    Many times women are in bad moods or are having bad days and if you have the BALLS to approach her you would learn that underneath the surface is a sweet girl who's lonely


    Why do you fucked up losers HAVE TO ADMIT that you are UGLY LOSERS WHO HAVE NO LIFE. ANY MAN who looks HALF DECENT is even HALF calibrated NOTICES HUNDREDS of warm signals by HOT women during his NORMAL WEEK. That is on top of having dozens of chicks hit on him while he is doing his networking, hobbies and living his life. THOSE CHICKS ARE EQUALLY CUTE.

    Do you understand you fucked up loser that if you had dozens of 9s hitting on you each week, and you had the social calibration to notice the hundreds of warm chicks each week, you wouldn't HAVE TIME or even desire to pester random cold chicks for the 0.1% chance she might be interested but in a bad mood DO YOU GET WHAT YOU ADMIT EACH TIME YOU MAKE THESE STATEMENTS YOU LIFELESS LOSERS?


    Any TWENTY women who give warm signals are JUST AS CUTE as the TWENTY women who are giving cold signals you fucking idiot. And you have a chance of banging 10 of the warm chicks, and it's gonna be fun, easy and cool, whereas you have a chance of fucking 1 of the twenty cold chicks and it's gonna be torture.


    Aaron's GIRL SCOUTS prefer to wait until the girl makes the first move then wonders why they can't get a date to save their life.


    YOU ARE SO SOCIALLY ANXIOUS AND SOCIALLY BLIND that you don't notice that EVEN when you indiscriminately hit on women, the 5% of times it works for you, it's because you ACCIDENTALLY hit on the chick who was sending warm signals anyway you fucking dork.

    That's why we can approach 2 chicks in a night and get one blowjob, whereas you fucked up loser creep 20 chicks to get 10 numbers that go nowhere you fucked up loser.

    1. LOL why so much hatred and negativity ? I highly doubt you are kind of guy who approach 2 women and get one blowjob.
      Guys who pull something like that wouldn't get so excited over some stupid debate on the internet.

    2. Guys who pull something like that wouldn't get so excited over some stupid debate on the internet.

      Guys who get laid do not go around pestering every chick in a bad mood they see on the street. Only socially mis-calibrated PUA virgins do.

    3. You didn't answer any of his points. Ad hominems are not a good response. He obliterated you to pieces SexualHero.

      Also, you started with the hominems by saying that people who don't follow your religions are cowardly.

      I think people get mad and negative with you pua trolls because you keep pestering and saying the same programmed things over and over and over again. You just go on and on like programmed zombies.

    4. He was responding to some other guy.
      I just found his response funny and silly,thats all.
      If anyone sounds as some nerd or tard and very juvenile,its anti-pua guys on this comments. Is it just coincidance that all guys who somewhat disagreed with Sleazy points were civil and normal ?
      I once visited puahate website never to come again. It was clear that is the place where miscalibrated socially awkard virgins gather. ( of course there is always exceptions ).
      If you guys came from that website,I am not suprised by your childish and insulting comments.

    5. People are rude to you because you are full of shit and keep treating people like children, and you keep insulting their intelligence by repeating marketing points.

      I have no idea why one should be kind to a sleazy scammer who keeps pestering you and following you down the street, peddling his wares and shoving them in your face.

  21. tatsdieselgunz

    It's interesting how this PUA completely twisted your words and misrepresented what people say on here. Aaron once asked them if they lack reading comprehension. I think they are pretending to read wrong on purpose so they can keep putting up strawmen.

    For example look at this strawman

    If you are fine meeting girls only through social activities,social circles,your job, etc.. then good for you.

    Tats, do you see how this Pua Shill is lying?

    Hey Shill, nobody here, aaron or anyone else has E-V-E-R said that you should O-N-L-Y meet women in social circles and jobs. Why do you lie!!

    That's great if want only a gf etc.. Most men want more,ONS,FB,MLTRs etc..

    Most people who have one-night-stands, fuck-buddies and MLTRs meet them in normal venues such as salsa parties, networking events, seminars, friends of friends, facebook and campus and birthday parties and contests etc.

    But it doesn't matter, since nobody ever told you not to approach strangers, so you keep lying. You just

    and then you lie some more

    What Aaron has said is to not waste time on women who don't seem DTF or easy to pickup. He didn't say to only do social circles.

    lie PUA Shills?

    Most men are not fine only meeting girls way you describe. They want to pickup chicks in clubs,bars,parks,streets,while shoping,doing daily errands etc

    And tatsdieselgunz is not preventing them from doing so. Neither is Aaron.


    Why do you misrepresent Aaron's advice? Why do you lie about Tats advice?

    PUA say if you see chick with nice boobs in super market, go harass her.

    Aaron say if you see a chick with nice boobs in supermarket and she seems DTF, go give her cock.

    Why do you lie PUAShills? Why do you


    Why do you say that Aaron is telling you to not fuck chicks from supermarket. Why do you lie puashills. Why lie lie lie lie?

    Tats, see the next lie this PUAShill said

    Most people are not as unsocial as you describe.

    Tats never said that most people are unsocial. He said that 30 year old virgins should become social first, before they go around harassing random women.

    He didn't say all people are unsocial. He says that people who are unsocial should begin by becoming social and getting social circles and lays there first. He didn't say that everyone should only do social circles ever. He didn't say they should stick to only social circles forever and ever and ever.

    Why do you

    pua shills?

  22. I was not commenting anything about what Sleazy wrote,I was only commenting tatsdieselgunz post. Where did he say in his post he was only talking about 30y old virgins ?
    Yeah,I guess I lack reading comprehension or just maybe some guys here are little too vague and not clear enough in their posts.

    1. People seem vague to you due to your social inexperience. You will find all the more socially experienced people know exactly what Tats and Aaron say, but those of you who are still struggling with AA consider them vague.

    2. It's right there in both of his posts.

      You guys say that inexperienced men should pester random uninterested women to overcome anxiety.

      Tats responded that this is wrong and that a man with No Previous Social Dating Experience should start out in social circles First and only then move up. Did you notice the word FIRST? It is not the fault of tats that you morons fail reading comprehension.

      Two hours later tats posted another comment clarifying that he is only talking about inexperienced men, and to stop twisting his words. So either you can't read, and failed both times, or you are pretending on purpose.

    3. Actually I re-read the post and he was talking about "guys who have never been social". I just replied in haste,so I apologize.
      But like I said,these guys are in minority. Most guys are atleast somewhat social,have girls in their social circles etc...
      It does not meat they wont have AA when some hottie checks him out in a club,if they are not used talking to strangers

    4. Hmm, your apology means you are more humble than most defending PUAs, so I will bite.

      It is true that even an average guy of average social succes could get sometimes AA if checked out by a cutie in a club.

      Why does that imply he has to practice by indiscriminately hitting on other women with "fuck off, don't talk to me" body language?

      Why can't he practice on women with warm postures and inviting positions and vibes? Every club has at least a dozen groups of warm and open giggly girls darting their eyes across the room. Why not practice on those?


    5. I was not commenting about cold approaching this time at all.
      My first comment was about Sleazy's opinion that you should not have AA if you dont cold approach,which is not true.
      AA is not just fear or rejection,its also fear of unknown.
      If you didnt approach strangers before,it wont metter how much she seems interested in talking with you-you will still have AA.
      You people keep bringing cold approach debate again,haven't we had enough of that :)
      Nobody should talk with women who give off "fuck off" vibe.
      OFC talking with women who seems more open to approach is better idea. But its not so important for a newbee to wait for specific IOI's meant for him such as eye contact. If girl seems approachable,its enough for people who have AA to practice on.

    6. Also,I did wrote a post on which answers your question in more detail. I think that for some guys with AA cold approaching might be better to start with.
      I am talking about guys who cant approach even when girl is clearly interested in meeting him.
      So,you will say,that doesnt make any sense,if he cant approach even then,then how is cold approaching going to be any easier for him ?
      If you are interested in my opinion why is cold approaching easier to start with,feel free to check out that thread its locked like all other threads where people were debating about this topic,its in general section.
      Keep in mind this only applies to some guys. If you never been social in a way tats describe,its not for you. If you can do warm approaches,its not for you.

  23. Hey people, did anyone catch that cowardice meme?

    From my experience it takes the same amount of Courage to approach a woman on the street in either case. It is the same whether she looks closed off and uninterested to meet men, or if her eyes are darting and she seems in heat. It requires the same amount of courage to approach either one.

    One will produce no results. The other is an easy lay. I don't understand why you are a coward if you choose which one to approach. That's like saying that throwing darts with closed eyes is more courageous than throwing darts with eyes open.

    1. Exactly ! This is the point I was trying to make. Sleazy was trying to say that you only will have AA if you try to indiscriminately cold approach women.
      If,on the other hand,you do only warm approaches,you should not have AA at all.
      Which is simply not true. Most people starting will have same level of AA for any approach-warm or cold

    2. I don't think it is Sleazy's fault if you misunderstand him.

      You seem to look at things in a very polarized black and white fashion. When Sleazy says something is mostly this way or that way, you see it as a rule. He is not giving rules or absolutes, only guidelines and generalities.

  24. The problem is that everybody treats Sleazy or pickup community as absolute rules. We all know that dating world is full of uncertainty and different for each girls. Some girls are crazy, some girls are smart, some girls are more into Indie side, some are emos. Some like nerdy guys, some like douchebag guys.

    If we just look at Sleazy's advice as general guidelines then we should be okay.

    IME, I also agree that AA is the same regardless whether girls give me warm signals or cold signals. I remember so many times some girls gave me that "come on approach me" look but I was so taken by my AA I literally froze up eventhough I knew if I talk to them they'll be warm and receptive. AA is very powerful.

  25. AA is not a function of what the girl is doing, but a function of your intentions.

    If you believe it is your job to "get" the girl into you, you might well feel AA even if she is giving you warm signals. You might well feel that you can "mess it up" or that the warm signals are merely an invitation to "prove" yourself. In that sense, warm signals can be scarier than cold signals. She is sort of into you and now you must "perform".

    AA is merely a kind of performance anxiety, and as long as you think you must "perform", you might well feel AA.

    The only way to eliminate AA is to move away from the idea that you have to "perform" on any level or in any fashion whatsoever. It simply does not matter how you act or what you do. You are not for one moment trying to "prove" anything to the girl or "get" her. You are merely being yourself and talking to her to see if she is already of her own free choice - independent of anything YOU do - into you.

    As long as you on any level whatsoever wish to make the outcome dependent on what YOU do, you run the risk of contracting AA, which is just another kind of performance anxiety.

    You have to completely surrender the outcome to forces outside your control. It is not up to you. All you can do is go and see if the forces are aligning in your favor. If they are, great. If not, you walk away. But you do not "perform" and you do not need to "prove" anything, and you CANNOT "mess it up".

  26. I'm now convinced this blog is a cesspool of idiocy.


    Are you so fucking obtuse that you can't judge from the interaction whether the woman is into you or not?

    Cold/warm approach, doesn't fucking matter. If a hot girl shows interest I'm more inclined to approach her, yes, but I wouldn't be getting IOIs in the first place if I hadn't been talking to everyone the whole night and having fun.


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