Monday, July 28, 2014

You have to make a move to know whether she’s really interested in you

There was an interesting remark by a member of my forum recently. He wrote:

The reactions I got from women recently and in past times when I tried to physically escalate rapidly at nighttime have shown me that women who seemed sexually interested at first have been turned off by it. Of course, they could have not been interested in the first place.

There were a few things that stood out to me. First, how can you be sure that she is sexually interested if you just stand there, and if she’s acting rather passively? It wasn’t as if she couldn’t keep her hands off him, or was squeezing his junk. The guy in question admitted, which is nothing to be ashamed of, that he has had very little sexual experience with women.

A mistake many inexperienced guys make, and one that is accidentally or deliberately exploited by alleged pickup gurus is that they mistake mere friendliness for sexual interest. This is why those gurus teach you “openers” that are non-sexual and not particularly risky. You’re supposed to entertain them, and gradually turn things sexual. She tolerates your presence, and you mistakenly believe you're making progress, even though you're only treading water.

If she’s not sexually attracted, then it doesn’t really matter how interesting you stories are. True, she may willingly listen to you, but she’s not going to fuck you — unless you turn out to be a successful standup comedian with millions in the bank.

She looks at you and knows whether she’s interested. It’s a biological response. If you bang her and later on ask for why she ended up going home with you, you’ll only get some instantaneously made up explanation that may or may not be true. This is because sexual attraction is a biological response, not a rational one. On the other hand, fucking a guy just for his money is something she does because she's been thinking her plan through. However, those of you who belong to that category of guy may know that such women act much differently towards you than those who are sexually attracted.

But let’s say she’s standing there and seemingly enjoys your presence. Maybe you think she’s sexually interested. It could of course also be the case that she just wants some male attention, to appear desired, or get some free drinks out of you. It’s easy for her to pretend that she’s interested in you as long as you don’t make a move. It's also very easy for her to pretend that she's sexy and attractive if she's got some guy talking to her, even if she isn't interested in him at all. Plenty of women won't turn an opportunity down to get their ego stroked. It just doesn't mean that she'll stroke your cock in return.

Some time ago a guy told me that he ended up talking to some girl in a hotel bar, bought her a couple of drinks, and she was rather flirtatious — but when he suggested going for a walk, and after she refused, asking for her number — she claimed she was “not that kind of girl” and  walked off, in a pretend-indignant way. There is a bright side to that, though. As the German philosopher Schopenhauer wrote — I’m paraphrasing from memory, and translating from German, so please don’t bug me if you can’t find the exact same phrase in a translation:

No money is better spent than money we’ve been tricked out of. After all, we directly traded it for wisdom.

If more men would put a monetary value on the time they spend on women who only lead them on, I'm tempted to think they would realize the mistakes they are making. I hope that those of you who fall for those tricks will now start to trade not just your money, but also your time, directly for wisdom.


  1. Can I have the german, original quote, please?

    Thank you.

    1. The original quote is: "Kein Geld ist vorteilhafter angewandt als das, um welches wir uns haben prellen lassen; denn wir haben dafür unmittelbar Klugheit eingehandelt."

      You'll find it in his book Aphorismen zur Lebensweisheit.

    2. Chapeau! (Some) German philosophers really rock.
      And most of your articles really fulfil Wittgenstein's view of the purpose of philosophy, namely that - and I’m paraphrasing from memory ;) - its job is to help the fly get out of
      the bottle, inside which it has been trapped.
      ... as ever looking forward to future posts of yours...

  2. So well said, unfortunately feminism wants to make it illegal for men to "not waste money". They define that as harassment.

    It would be ideal for men to develop a dating strategy where you make a move as quickly as possible and weed out time-wasters.

    -- SideTrack Note --

    (obvious note for those who are new... this doesn't mean an interested woman will always immediately sleep with you if you make a move quickly. It's just that you can tell by her response if she's communicating

    1) "not now, not ever, I only wanted your attention, i have zero sexual attraction to you"
    2) "I'm attracted to you as well, I'm just not ready, try later, at a different time, place"

    -- Back to Topic --

    So Ideally you'd make moves as quickly as possible as opposed to wasting dozens or hundreds of platonic hours.

    Unfortunately feminists are passing laws to define this as harassment and even sexual assault. Several colleges have passed rules that unwanted advances are sexual assult.

    This includes things like "asking a girl out who didn't want to be asked out" or "flirting with a girl who has no interest in you".

    The obvious logical conclusion from this is that they literally want you to go the old-route of befriending a woman for months until she gives a super-clear "GO ask me out!" "go make a move".

    So the feminist logic is that you as a man need to waste time on 9 women who are just using you for attention (spending 5 months on each of these 10 women). All to get the one who after 5 months outright shows super-enthusiastically she wants to be more than friends.

    Let's remember, time is money. The time you spend on this strategy - if invested in enterpreneurship, you could literally build a small business with the same time!

    So why are men asked to waste so much time by feminists? Because some women might feel 2 seconds of awkward discomfort if a guy who's not their type asks them out or makes a move.

    Remember guys, you wasting 50 months of your life to get a date is nothing compared to a woman having to feel 2 seconds of discomfort. [/feminist logic]

    1. THanks a lot Alek, for your comments – most insightful and greatly expanding on the OP as ever!

  3. One more thing that just came to mind, with regard to the very headline of this post: isn't it neat to see, how the entire wasteful edifice of "game"-theories can easily be discarded and instead be replaced with a few succint points to follow, which above all are grounded in reality?!

  4. Thats a really great post, as an inexperienced guy I have been guilty of such thinking far too many times.


  5. There is a lot of benefits of making the move fast. It communicates to girls who already like you that you are quite a brave guy and know what to do to push things forward, while it clearly tells immature bitches that they can kindly fuck off and stop wasting your time. One of my favourite move is simply to put my arms around her waist and pull her in close to me so our faces can literally meet each other. Of course, you can't do that in inappropriate places. In public places, sexual advances disguised as acceptable physical touches are always great. Women will get the clue!

    In Sleazy's OP, the guy has made a great move: Asking her for a walk. When in doubt, always ask her to be somewhere alone with you. With more sexual confidence and experience you will know when to ask her to go straight to your room.

  6. @ Isidia: yes, that's all very good.

  7. I have something else to say about that annoying IOI questions guys ask feom the board from times to times. Does she look at me? Does she not?

    Well, it doesn't fucking matters. Go talk to her if you don't see her boyfriend around. Why? Because in real life shits are a lot more messy than just those "look at me lovely eyes". What if she is too hurry despite liking you. Taking a fucking phone number you sunofabitches.

    Dont know what she thinks of you? Put your arms around that waist, rub that thighs you hear me? ALWAYS BE CLOSING. You hit the wall or you wallslam her and fuck from behind.

    What are you scared of? That piece of shit that supposes to wash your cloth and cook you a meal? C'mon you are than that, aren't you?


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